I think I may be depressed. I seem to be angry more often than not. It seems like everything is just going wrong and nothing I do is helping. I feel overwhelmed. I was crying and feeling like a failure b/c I think I found poison ivy in my backyard.

I need to go to the doc but get angry with myself for not being able to do this on my own. I think my past is catching up with me. the weight of the secret of sexual molestation. I have nobody I can talk to, except of course you ladies. all my closest friends have moved out of state. My old college roommate, who I thought was a friend for life, turned out to be a friend for the moment. I haven't made any close personal friends in what seems like forever. I also think that's partly my fault. I think I am guarding myself from further hurt.

I know I have to go see the doc. what's worse is I love my doc and now it's like the outside world will know I'm a failure also. I feel like I need a nap. I guess the emotional drain is showing.

allgirls

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allgirls, mom to 3 girls

It's Girl Scout Cookie Time

Hey you, * you have had a LOT on your plate the last couple of months. *You are always out with your girls school, or working at cleaning or whatever, or NOT SLEEPING. *You need to take some time for yourself - get out, go do.....whatever....something relaxing. *We'll go out! *Pedicures and cocktails! *You know how you can get ahold of me.....now go take your nap!

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allgirls, if you are feeling depressed, please see your doc. About a year and half ago, my DH was diagnosed with Brain Cancer, and I came apart at the seams. I couldn't even handle cooking breakfast w/o crying. I was so angry and upset all the time. My doctor gave me Wellbutrin and it helped SO much. Maybe you should consider talking with a counselor as well. It does really help to get everything out and come to terms with things. Hope everything goes better for you.

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I've been boo'ed!!

All girls you are feeling depressed hon, and its ok, now you need to get out from under it (easier said than done Im under a cloud of the black Irish too right now and I know how exhausting and unpleasant it can be)

First can you get St Johns Wort from your herbalist or chemist if they stock it, its non addictive and will get you over the start, then excuse me for being personal but did you or can you get counselling for the molestation.

You might really need to tackle this to get out from under the depression your in, for a deeper healing.

We are here, so dont feel alone

Its one of the features of depression to get mad at ourselves for not handling it by ourselves but if you broke your leg you would accept a crutch to help you walk, so why not help with depression. Its so not a sign your a failure only your temporarily vunerable.

You never signed into this life as superwoman and no one expects you to be as for f reindship with others well we are here as a first and continuous step, you will make others in time when you feel easier about yourself

Big Hugs please get some help for you, you deserve it and take the SJW in the meantime its a sanity saver honestly

Anne

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"When we know better we do better" Maya Angelou

I have been wondering too lately if I'm depressed but I think either I'm not or still in denial because I'm not ready to do anything yet. I've thought about St. John's but that's as far as I got. I did write a couple letters. Long letters. When I was done I read it then tore it to pieces. It felt pretty good actually. I'm also going to start writing 10 things a day I'm thankful for. I need to start looking at all the positives in my life instead of the negatives. Good luck and know that your not alone.

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I too felt depressed for a long time, even doing my favorite things didnt make me happy. I now take effexor and it has changed my life. Im back to my old self, and feel "normal"

Thanks everyone.
dottiebeverly, I think it all started with the death of my cousin who was one year older than me. She was such a wonderful person who had gone through #### and made it through to the other side. Her life was just beginning to come together for her. then one year later a close friend died of lung caner.

annemc, no, I did not get counseling. In fact outside of dh you guys are the only ones who know. It was a relative and just can't tell. I'm scared to death. I couldn't stand to lose family members right now. I know it wouldn't be my fault but I just can't right now. I have a ontrol thing now. I feel if I'm vulnerable then I'm suspectable to abuse again. funny that that's exactly where I am anyway.

momma_bear- I tried the positive thinking thing. It was depressing that all I seem to right was a place to sleep and food to eat. yes I know I have more but it made me feel like how much I didn't have.

kelli, you are the best. I think we should definately plan something without the girls
I knew I could count on you ladies.
allgirls

I'm so sorry you're going through this now. My mom was molested by her uncle when she was young, and has been in couseling for years. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you to deal with, on top of everything else. Please see your doctor, get referred to a counselor, do what you need to do to get back to being the mom you want to be for your girls.

I have 3 girls too (4-1/2, and 2-1/2 yr old twins). Some days they drive me absolutely insane, and I find myself getting annoyed more easily than I would like. Just day-to-day is hard without dealing with all you have gone through. Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk. I think we live in the same area (if I'm recalling correctly).

Take care of yourself!!

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sorry about the ####. it was the hockey sticks. I didn't even realize when I typed it. bad me

thanks Artie, we do live in the same area or close as I remember. You'll be hearing from me.

allgirls

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allgirls, mom to 3 girls

It's Girl Scout Cookie Time

Allgirls I am with you girl I am going through depression really bad so you are not alone.mine is a long story it started in 1998 when I was pregnant with my secone child and carried him to term and lost him 17 days later due to heart problems .and then a year exactly to the date of losing our son I found out i was pregnant again I was very scared but we went through alot of tests to make sure the baby was ok and she was a healthy baby she is now 6 years old.And 3 years ago we had an apartment fire and we lost everything we had in it.And at the time of the fire my husband was unemployed that did not help any.And now hubby is unemployed at this time no unemployment because it was a temporary job.I am supposed to be on medicine but can't afford it right now no insurance.If you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you .Tina