I mean I've bared it all and told you about my husb.'s affair. I obviously can not trust him (only been 6 mos. since I found out) and I still and often obsess about it. Not only the sex part, but were they acting like lovers or husb/wife, etc. etc. it goes on. So many things make me think of it on a daily basis. The only saving grace is my kids, they bring such a smile to my face!

So I shower every day, act normal in front of kids, eat-although not wonderfully (sometimes skip dinner), but I am tired, lazy, cranky, cry alone often, feel like my kids are all I have to live for, have thoughts of death, (but not of killing myself really, just that I'd be better off but my kids wouldn't KWIM?). So is this something meds would help? My midwife knows a little of the story and told me at my 6 week postpartum check up to call her if I needed any. I am nursing so I have been hesitant up until now-dd is starting to eat and I am supplementing w/formula now too. The obsessions the past few days have been terrible. I feel so messed up in the head sometimes. TIA!

Yes meds would definately help you. They'll improve your appetite, help you sleep, decrease the obsessing and take the edge off. But they are not a long term solution if your marital situation doesn't improve (as I'm sure you know). So I think you should certainly look into meds to help you now in this slump, but when you're thinking calmer I think you still need to do some serious thinking about your future with your dh. HTH

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Diffinately get some meds, if you have thoughts of death(I totally know what your talking about) You really need then, those thoughts can lead to other thoughts and then to attempts, I was on then while breastfeeding. The meds will help sooo much, and then you can deal with Dh and other things, just get them asap they take a little while to take affect.

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Meds can at least help you get your bearings and then you can decide what to do about the situation once you get your head right.

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* Let it not be said that no one cared, that no one objected once it's realized that our liberties and wealth are in jeopardy.

~Ron Paul

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Well then I think I will make the call and at least get an appt. and try it. Can't hurt to try I guess!!
Boy did I never think I would be in this position, I've always been so level-headed, keeping to myself and able to handle everything. I almost got arrested on some court thing I forgot to pay and I really could care less, so NOT like me!! Thanks so much for your advice!

Yes I would talk to you doctor and maybe try to find a free if money is tight support group to go to and maybe someone just one on one that can better meet your needs right now.

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I have to agree this is dead on.

I can imagine what is going through your mind because I "thought" my dh cheated and found out I was wrong but boy the things that went through my mind were horrible.

Get the medication and get yourself better. Then figure out what you want/need.

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Ok, I hope that I am not stepping on toes, but before I had my kids I was (still am) a mental health counselor. Medication will only treat the symptoms in your situation and not the heart of the issue. I would highly recommend talking to your dr about an antidepressant but I would also seek some counseling. You need a 3rd party to express yourself to who isn't involved in the situation who can help you work thru all of the feelings. There are various agencies and/or churches that provide this service free or on a sliding fee scale. I stongly encourage you to look into counseling. Your kids need you to be the best you can be!

I went to the website depression.com and used their check list as a guide. Boy did that scare the $**t out of me!!!!!!!!!!!

I have used Effexor for just over a month now and am workinf towards not taking it anymore. But it helped a TON and I honestly think that without the meds I would have to have been commited or would have attempted suicide. I'm not being dramatci...I'm just pointing out that if you don't get help it could get much worse.

Take care. Call your dr and make an appointment and use us for support.

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~Amy


Live like there's no tomorrow
Love like you've never been hurt and
Dance like no one's watching

Thank you for that advice. We are getting ready to seek out counseling, just waiting for our home refinancing to go through. I found someone for $35/hr and someone else for $50/hr, so I think we may go separately to each, plus I attend a post-affair support group that I found which is great as they are all but 1 about 2 yrs. post-affair. I just feel like I need some control in my head and it's been 6 mos. and I haven't been able to get it on my own. Thanks!