ME! I am just crying my eyes out . I feel awful. This morning I didnt here the kids get up and i slept in till nine Prolly the only reason i got up then is cause tony came home yelling at me. I didnt mean to leave them unattended , im just so tired. Im wore out fall on my face tired.They was crying cause they was hungry and i was piled on the couch sleeping ! I take care of my dying father , four kids , a husband , stressed over the kids ,my mother just called and told me she has cancer . I was up till 3 am two nights in a row with nathan, Not to mention dealing with schools , doing all the shopping , paying the bills cooking , trying to keep a nice clean home. Im spread thin and its catching up with me. Now i have started this ebay and i have to worry about it , but i need the extra money. I had a headache for three days in a row including today. It will not ease up .Imma end up in the looney bin ! only if i had a husband that would take some burden for me maybe i will be ok. maybe if my sister's would get off their lazy butts and help me with dad . But the wont , Im the one that has to hold back the tears so he dont see me upset cause his time is near. He cant even walk on his own anymore.Im so stressed girls , i really dont know what to do. I caught myself snapping at my kids. any suggestion to ease the stress , im thinking of seeing a dr but then that will just add to my stress with stupid dr bills. have you ever been so tired you didnt hear your kids get up? my poor kaylee was in her crib crying , i cant put her down Im so upset

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Dont beat yourself up so bad. I know a few moms that sleep in daily and dont think twivce about it. The fact taht you care so much means that you are a great mom.As far as your stress goes I dont know what tjo tell you. Hang in their and I hope it getts better soon. And demand more of your husband. GOod luck.

Oh honey, your not the worst mother in the world, you're just tired. I am so sorry that you're going through all of this with no help! I would tell your husband exactly what you just posted. Maybe he doesn't realize what a toll all of this is having on you. I hope you feel better soon.

Are you able to have your dad cared by someone other than you? (like a nursing home or even hospice care?) I know it's a super tough thing to do--but often times it is the best alternative. (but that's just my opinion and I work in healthcare so I am a little biased)

As far as your children go and sleeping in.....big deal! You have to take care of your own BASIC needs before you can help others.

Youre not a bad mother, sounds like you are a fantastic mom! A bad mom would just let their kids run around, never feed or clean them. A bad mother would have not even been home when the kids woke up--you can hardly compare yoursef to a bad mother.

Sounds like you hit a very stressful spot. I am not sure why your DH isn't helping you out more--can you tell him how overwhelmed you are? (I know my DH still wouldn't "get" it if I tried to tell him).

Anyway--just remember, you can only do/take on so much, you are one person, do what you can for those you can and beyond that just know you love your family and are doing your best.

Just so you know - my sister is a teacher and has many children come to school without their "necessities" because they get up alone and get on the bus without coats, breakfast, etc because their mom was sleeping and didn't want to get up. THAT is a bad mother. A mother that sleeps in just a little because she is so dog-tired is not bad - she is just exhausted.

I'm so sorry you are having problems with your parent's health - that must be really hard. Please find every piece of help you can - home health, nursing home, etc. It is impossible to do that alone. Spend every penny he has - if necessary. Does he own anything you can sell to finance his care? If the siblings don't like that - tough.

As for your kids - I understand. I have one less kid than you, but I am exhausted. My third is so high-maintanence and the "older" ones are not in big school yet. My favorite mommy saying is "The days are long, but the years are short." So true. Will we remember how exhausted we were at this time? I hope not. Good luck to you - I hope you have a better day!

I have talked to tony , I told him how i needed him . You know what he said ,and some may remeber from a while back .. He told me " this is your job , I have my job you have yours " Then he says " get a job then hire someone to clean and tend to the kids " He makes me feel worse as if to say I dont want my kids ! He is not the man i married he has turned cold. It started being this way when he got home from iraq. First couple months was great then he turned into this evil heartless person. He got mad at me last night cause i called my sister thats lives 2.5 hours away to tell her my BIL father passed away .basicly he sits at the top of the problem. as far as dad goes I hate to dont want to but i may just have to seek hep with someone in health care. He is showing early signs of alztimer (sp?) I guess i just need to vent and someone to listen cause no one listens to me around here. I kinda get dismissed KWIM

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I am so sorry! Yes, i have been tired enough not to wake up, to find my kids made their own ppeanut butter sandwiches for breakfast, and spent hours cleaning the mess... It happens. You are spread too thin right now.

First of all, if your sisters won't help with your dad, is there someone that can? Like hospice, visiting nurse, someone from church? Wuld your sisters at least come help you out with your kids, your housework??? It is not fair to shoulder it all yourself and they need to pitch in somehow.

Say no to any requests to volunteer for something right now, although it sounds like you could use a girls night out or something, when i feel overwhelmed sometimes the last thing I want to do is be obligated to show up somewhere.

Can you husband take over some of the errands or bill paying for awhile? Will he help at all? Can he be home to help get the kids up or to bed? He needs to step up too.


Oh, as far as Ebay, I know you are needing the money, but don't stress yourself by listing too much at once. You can (for a fee,of course, but not much) create your listing say today, then set up a few tomorrow, etc, and pick a day for ALL of them to start. Then you can concentrate of packaging, and ship a bunch at once when you get payment. You could also specify I ship on Mon and Thurs in your listings. I found I was starting to hit the post office a LOT. There is also priority shipping available from your home too. It wasn't easy being pregnant, and lugging 2 kids to my post office. Our P.O. is open 24 hours to use the automated machine so DH or I could run in the evening.

Take today to enjoy your babies, and do only what is absolutely needed today. Easier said than done, but sweetie, you need a break. And you are not a bad momma! Hugs!

The "worst" mothers I know of don't care about anything. But you care too much. Your husband needs some work, but that's just my opinion. Great support system you've got there. I'm sorry your parents are sick/dying. This must be a very hard time for you with just that alone. Do you have a Hospice in your area? They send nurses out to the home for terminally ill patients. The nurses are wonderful and caring. You could get a break from constantly seeing your dad that way.

And have you considered talking with a counselor? This could be that "someone" who can listen to you. There are some agencies that come to the home. Others allow you to bring your children. You're taking care of everyone else, don't forget about yourself. You'll make yourself sick if you don't do something about the situation. Things don't just get better on their own. It really sounds like you need someone. And frankly, I'd never stay with a guy who had such little respect for me as human being. Married or not, I'd grab my kids, my family and go however I had to. I hope you'll have enough strength to care about yourself through this. If you don't no one else will.

Is there an EAP plan through your dh's employer? They can talk with you over the phone for coping measures and will pay for so many visits to a therapist. Then insurance would kick in after 8 or so visits.

You a bad mother? Not hardly. Human? Yes, you are. Honey, you need help and you need it now. You need to be strong with dh. Not ask him, tell him. He needs to be a partner or you will end up sick yourself. I would also get on the phone and ask the sisters if they can help with dad or help pay for help. Otherwise, check with your state. A local nursing home can probably give you some leads to go after for help.

I'm so sorry this is all crushing you right now. You really need a break. I know you're not in a position to leave him, but what will happen later when the kids are grown? He sounds like he needs help, but right now he needs to help with damage control. You don't get to check out at 5pm and laze the rest of the evening and on weekends. You're on 24 hours a day, and the last time I checked, kids need both parents. He helped make them. The title daddy has certain obligations, as does the term husband. Be strong, woman, and demand help! Also, leave something out that your kids can munch on, like cereal and milk, if they can handle it, or something they can eat before you get up. I wish we were nearby. We would all come with a frying pan!

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Awww sweetie no advice just hugs and prayers being sent your way.

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