We have lived in our house for 4 years this month. We have a $1000 house payment. Due to some set backs with jobs my husband now works 2 jobs to make ends meet. He has been working 2 jobs for 2 years now. We are both burned out. We are both tired all the time. Him being tired working so much and me being tired doing everything around the house and taking care of the girls.
We have been thinking about selling the house to pay off some bills and maybe a down payment on an older cheaper house. Or we might end up renting. Our problems is it might be quite a while before we can get back into a nice house like we have now. We just put in our yard this summer and we love having it for the girls to play outside. If we rent we miht not have the yard for our girls and if we get an older house I am not sure about neighbors and other kids for my dd's to play with.
We are both at our ends. I like the idea of an older cheaper house with a payment under $600. But we would probably have to put some work into it to make it nice.
I really want another baby, but need my husband home more to help me with 3. If we sold he could quit one of his jobs.
Our list of pro's and con's are about equal and we don't know what to do. What are your thoughts. What would you do?

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Austin
Mom to 3 beautiful girls

I don't know what I would do in that situation - but here are a couple of things to think about. In an older house - you are likely to have more repairs and fix up than in your current house. Would saving $400/mo in mortgage cover those costs? If you rented the landlord aspect is there - but you aren't growing any equity for later when you are ready to buy another house.

Do you have any other payments that could be reduced or that could go away with a little work (i.e. credit cards)? If you have a credit card that you could pay off, then that gives you a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it is easy to continue when we know there is an end. If you could keep working double time for x months to get that paid off and then be able to keep your house and have dh quit one job that might be an option too.

You could also do some driving around to see what houses are out there for sell or rent. You might find stuff you really like and decide that is the right decision or you might decide downsizing is not right.

Hope that helps. Good luck with your decision.

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Amy B.

Personally I think I would sell the house and try to buy an older, cheaper house that doesn't stretch you as much financially (you can always make it a priority to look for house with a decent yard for your girls). What's a nice house if you're both too tired to enjoy it?

My husband and I have discussed the issue of him getting a second job to help improve our finances and possibly allow us to get into a bigger house now as opposed to in a few years. In the end it comes down to the fact that he'd be sacrificing family time with me and the kids - and that's just not worth it to me.

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Stephanie
Mom to: Caleb (8-27-2003), Ian (9-28-2005), & Baby Boy #3 (EDD 11-9-2008)

Look at the big picture. It costs a lot to move - down payment, closing costs, etc etc. You've paid 4 years toward your home - if you get a new home loan, will you start over with 30 years to go? It sounds like a lot of money and work for $400 a month. Moving to a rental sets you back even more. Plus, would the school be as good in a rental? The neighborhood? Safety is worth a lot. Look toward the end - your goal is probably to have a home paid for by the time you retire.

Is there any way to increase your income instead? Do you work? Could you work part-time while your husband spends his extra time increasing his skills/education to promote or get a better job? It's hard to know the best advice without all of the details, but in your gut you probably know the right thing to do.

Have you ever read Suze Orman's books? They make a lot of sense to me.

I would sell the house, pay off debt, and have your dh quit one job. Then I would try to rent somewhere that would allow you to still save some money every month and put some money into investments or something that can give you a payback like a mortgage could. Interest rates could get a little crazy which would be great if you are investing money and not so great if you have a large mortgage.

Ultimately, having your dh home more, less stress on your marriage and more time together with family is (in my opinion) more important that a nice house. The kids won't remember the house, they'll remember the family life

We have refinaced our house once in the 4 years and we just took out a 2nd mortgage this summer. That money will be gone soon.
My husband works 2 FULL time jobs and does internet classes during his graveyard job. He is home 2-3 evenings a week. I work as a consultant for Usborne. I make some extra money that way. I am trying to promote right now and that would be a pay increase for me. I can't see going to work a 9-5 job and putting my kids in day care. They all ready don't see their dad much. They really need me to be around. Plus I would just be working to pay day care and really wouldn't bring home that much money. that's not worth it to me.
We would hopefully be saving more than $400 a month. If we could pay off our 2nd mortgage and my dh's car we could save $1100 a month.

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Austin
Mom to 3 beautiful girls

We are looking into buying our first home and are looking at loans that provide small monthly payments. I would suggest refinancing your house and getting and interest only loan. You will now here a bunch of groaning, BUT this is a GREAT loan if you are disciplined enough to pay over the monthly premiem. In a traditional mortgage you are paying more interest that principle during the first 15-20 years. With interest only it gives you the flexibility of having a low monthly payment so if you are hard up you can just pay that and when you have more money to toss it directly at the principle. If you budget and stick to it you can end up actually paying off the house faster, or just having a break from the sky high payments for awhile. Then you can stay in the house that you've already invested 48,000 in, not have to move and have all the additional costs. I recommend www.quickenloans.com they have tons of options for refinancing that will save you tons of money. And remember that even if you are paying interest only you are still gaining equity as the value of your property increases, it would also free up extra cash to make improvements on your home that would also raise the value. I hope that whatever you decide works out for you! Good luck!

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Mommy To Brody(3 years) Mason(20 months) Orin (3 Months)

"It's easy to pass judgement, it's more difficult and more meaningful to love someone" Big Love


"Cholesterol won't stick if you have the right attitude"

what is it COSTING you both to live in that house? not money cost, but your energy, quality of life, relaxation, stress level.


so basically your hub is working himself in the ground to pay for the house - and you both agree that its just wearing you down.

i would get out asap and rent or seriously downsize. quality of life if much more important...i bet with some research you can find a great cheaper place that can fulfill alot of your wants...in the long run its your familys and your stress levels that matter most...not a beautiful back yard.

kelly is right it sounds like it is costing you alot more than just money! you only have one life you need to try to make it the best you can.

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Measure wealth not by the things you have, but by the things you have for which you would not take money.

We live in an older home. Both of my parents died last year and left the home to me. We decided to move into the house and do renovations and repairs out of pocket so we would not have nay loans. We owe 4000.00 on our house - our mortgage is 123.17 a month. Mind you - it is an older home - but if something happened and my husband could not work for a while - we could make our bills on my part time income. This really takes a load off of our minds. Me and hubby always say - we don't want to work just to have a nice and bigger house. We have lots of family time - and extra money to do other things with.

My advice - think long and hard and check out the rental homes in your neighborhood to see what they have to offer. No house is worth all of the stress if you can't relax.

Good Luck...

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Vickie in Georgia...