An elder male family member went to the emergency room in acute pain. I called to tell another female family member that he was in the emergency room with what they suspected was a hernia. She said that she would call back. In the interim I receive a call that they would have to perform emergency surgery to remove a testicle due to testicular tortion. When the female family member calls back, I lie to her and say that it is a hernia in order to protect his privacy. Three hours later we are extremely thankful to hear that they were able to save the testical. The next day, the female family member learns that we lied to her and is very very angy.

Does she have the right to be angry about this?

in a way she does. how closely related is she? the patient does have a right to his privacy and i wouldn't have divulged anything about his diagnosis unless he gave written consent for you to tell his family members. i don't think she should be all that angry, you were only protecting his privacy. if she isn't a close relative she shouldn't be that mad. butif she his wife or daughter then i would be a little upset just because you were worrying about the wrong thing. but its hard to understand another persons point of view when your very upset and worried. that could be why she was upset?

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Kimberley

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I don't know enough about the situation, ie how close she was to him, etc. I think she does have a right to be a little angry. I wouldn't have lied to a family member about it, friend maybe but family members would find out one way or another. Just tell her you are sorry, you were just trying to protect his privacy, she should get over it.

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A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.-Eleanor Roosevelt

She is the sister in law of the patient and yes, that is the exact reason that she said she was upset. She said she was up all night worrying and then shocked to find out that the diagnosis was not what she had thought it was.

I think you shouldn't have lied, and I think she should realize you were trying to do the right thing, and she should get over it.

Cheers, from
SwampWitch

Sorry, but I see why she is angry, too. I know you meant well and I would get over it very quickly because I could see your dilemma, but in the future, just say he is having surgery and he will explain it when he gets out. I would make it sound like I didn't understand everything about what was going on and leave it at that (which is probably not far from the truth with medical speak!). Just ask her to pray for him and his wife (or mother or other immediate family member) would be better able to explain what was going on if he couldn't.

You were really stuck in a hard place not to mention stressful for everybody. I am glad he is ok!

Hmm, that's a tough one. I can see why she'd be angry but I also see why you did it. Even though she is his sil I think the closeness of their relationship is the bigger factor. If she's close with him then you should have definitely told the truth. I think you should explain to her that you didn't feel you were in any position to share such personal information and apologize for hurting her feelings. Hopefully she's a big enough person to accept your apology, understand your reasoning, and get over it.

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Jennifer
dd Sarah 1/4/02
ds Brady 1/15/07

I can see why she was angry but on the other hand I can see why you cared to protect his privacy. Men a funny about their "privates". I dont think she should be angry once you have explained your actions.