A question for those who smoke (and others) - Page 2

churchgirl · 02-19-2007, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vioburn

My FIL lives with us and smokes. He always goes outside, but we live in an area that it would not bother people because of the way the houses are sitting. If it were bothering someone, he would be willing to get up and move to the other side of the house to smoke. Maybe your neighbors would be willing to smoke on the other side of their house so it would be less smoke getting to you.

I agree! Maybe they would be more willing to sit on the opposite side of the yard, or go in the front yard and smoke? I smoke as well, and really try to be considerate of other people. My dad used to blow smoke directly in my face when I was a kid and let his cigarette smolder in my face and I hated it! Still do actually (odd but true), so it drives me nuts when people just don't pay attention to what their doing!
You could even tell them that you understand it's their property, but your daughter has breathing problems or you wouldn't ask. It may make a difference. Oh, I like the fan idea too. That might help!

stevesgal · 02-19-2007, 03:19 PM

I am a smoker- who smokes outside to not have it in my house but mainly because of my children. Personally- since you do not have a relationship with them- I would not say anything- it may cause drama that you do not need! I would go the route of the fan and maybe burn some citronella candles (if it does not bother your children) or even maybe take something like the ionic breeze outside. HTH!

For the most part- most smokers try to be considerate of other people- unless you really make the smoker angry.

desertmom · 02-19-2007, 04:58 PM

Thank you for the comments. Yes, my problem is that, yes, we are both homeowners, and they have all the right to smoke on their own property. Unfortunately, their patio is not large and it's on the side nearest our house, as is the pool entry, so they sit at the pool and smoke, too.

The only other dealing I've ever had w/them, besides saying hi, is when they were putting in their pool two years ago - the workmen started pounding away on the bedrock at 6am! DS was going thru his very first ear infection. I left them a note asking if they could please ask the builders not to start the pounding until after 8am (which is the law here), and I bought a little bundt cake from the gourmet bundt cake store to welcome them to the neighborhood at the same time.

I do have an outside fan, and I can try that, but it will only reach the patio -not to the sandbox. And, of course, the issue is only when the kids are outside, which is not really a heck of a lot, w/the heat here. This time of year is outdoor time. It is their property, but it's too bad we can't enjoy ours! Even the neighbors two houses down can smell their smoke.

Artie · 02-19-2007, 08:05 PM

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

I know it's hard, as I'm also very sensitive to smoke (can smell it if someone in the car in front of me is smoking, etc) and have trouble breathing around it. Plus, with my dd's breathing/airway issues, it's tough. Hopefully the fan does provide some relief to you so you and your kids can enjoy the backyard! Hugs

SwampWitch · 02-20-2007, 01:42 AM

What ever happened to talking to people? Maybe your neighbors aren't friendly and don't wave because they know you don't like them.

I'd bake them some cookies, give them a belated "welcome to the neighborhood" and nicely explain your difficulties. Tell them you'd appreciate it if they'd help you out. I don't think you should assume they won't cooperate if you haven't even talked to them.

Jodie · 02-20-2007, 02:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeannetteDavis

Do you have a portable fan that you can put out to circulate the air back in their direction? I have no idea how large an area we are talking, but I'm figuring it's small if their smoke is drifting and bothering you THAT much. Otherwise, I have no suggestions for you.

This was the first thing that came to my mind too!! A fan to blow the smoke back at them.

Jodie · 02-20-2007, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

I'd bake them some cookies, give them a belated "welcome to the neighborhood" and nicely explain your difficulties. Tell them you'd appreciate it if they'd help you out. I don't think you should assume they won't cooperate if you haven't even talked to them.

Even after two years you would give them a welcome to the neighborhood? I think they would think you were just kissing butt because you wanted them to change their smoking habits.

desertmom · 02-20-2007, 03:32 AM

I know it was just an oversight, but in my second post, I had said I had given them a bundt cake w/ a welcome to the neighborhood during the pool episode, so that hurdle was overcome. The other neighbors who also welcomed them don't get much more than a nod, either. They seem very, very private, so that is one reason I'm hesitant to start up a conversation just to complain. They are a next door neighbor, and I don't want to start something - I know I'm prejudging, but there are just a lot of indicators that they wouldn't take kindly to my begging for help. As it is, they park cars in front of our house, trash containers in front of our yard at times, and once even put their stuff for bulk trash pickup with ours in our yard without asking! As you know me, I'm pretty good about standing up for myself, but I'm just afraid to be the biotch on wheels to a nasty neighbor, ya know?

SwampWitch · 02-20-2007, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jodie

... I think they would think you were just kissing butt because you wanted them to change their smoking habits.

Your point is...? Isn't that exactly what would be happening? I would prefer to call it a "peace offering."

desertmom, I didn't miss your second post. But it sounded like you never actually talked to them, you left a note and a cake. Did the workmen continue at 6:00 AM after that, or did it change? You didn't say if they cooperated then or not.

I am sorry you have this predicament. It seems everybody complains about the sorry state the world is in, yet we are afraid to talk to others to solve problems right next door. Your neighbors might be completely uncooperative, but you don't know unless you try to discuss this with them. I don't think cookies and a request to work with you will start a war, as long as you realize they have the right to refuse your request. Good luck,

Cheers, from
SwampWitch

desertmom · 02-22-2007, 03:49 AM

swampwitch, I guess that's part of my hesitation. Yes, the workmen did start after 8am back then, after the request, but I don't know if it was coincidental or not, as I found out they were having other problems. And no, when I rang their doorbell, no one answered, so I had left everything (the cake and note) on their door. After that, they still never said anything, and they avert their eyes at times for the neighbor wave, other times, they will wave - but we're not alone - it's w/all.

You know I'm rarely at a loss for words. But do I just say, "We have allergies in our family and my daughter has breathing treatments, which smoke makes worse. Is there any way you can not smoke when you hear us outside?" I'm just thinking if I were in their shoes, I would feel a little embarrassed and imposed on. Yet, their smoke is imposing. My husband has indeed made comments that they may have heard, but I'm not sure.

Boy, I'm a wimp about this, huh?