So this past weekend we went away and during the mini-vacation we stopped to see my SIL who lives 3+ hours away. She is single and lives alone. We get along fairly well. We were all talking about vacations and got on the subject of Disney World. She said she's always wanted to go but has no one to go with. We are thinking of going in either 2008 or 2009 depending on circumstances but are really serious about going. She wants to go with us. Well we said we would welcome her along on the condition that she let 1 of our kids share a room with her (my dd). Many places we have looked into allow 4-5 people in a standard room but not 6. We are a family of 6 without her. She had no problem sharing a room with my dd or even 2 of my kids. BUT her thinking is if we go and she shares a room with 1 of my kids we pay 1/2 her hotel room and if 2 kids are there then we pay 2/3 of her room. Our thinking is she would have to pay for a room for herself period it's not more expensive for 1 of our kids to stay in it.

Another idea that came up is to rent a time share or condo with her, my other SIL + her daughter and us. When we've been in these situations before with other couples we just split it per family and not per person. She is really opposed to this.

I understand her point in a sense but my dh and I also think that she would have to pay for a room herself even if there wasn't one of our kids in it so she is not being expected to pay more to accomodate us yet we are inviting her on our family vacation because she has no one else to go there with.

I really don't know if anything will come of this because I'm thinking if there is going to be so much controversy over this it may end up being too difficult to do a "all family" vacation unless we all get our own spaces and vehicles.

As I said we've split rentals with other family members and couples and we've just split per family and not per person- how does eveyone else do it?

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I think that type of situation is just to complicated for us! We would never do that b/c someone in our families would start something like that and all heck would break loose. If you are inviting her to YOUR family vacation then she could pay for the room, your child doesn't make it cost more I agree. But if it's already starting controversy then it just isn't worth it IMO!

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I am only one, but I am one. I can not do everything, but I can do something. I must not fail to do the something that I can do. -Edward Hale

You know I rarely am opposite you in thinking, but I do think she is correct here, especially since you are the one making the stipulation about sharing. It's great that you are resolving these issues early, but be careful - it won't be any fun if all the time is spent arguing about money.

Since you are allowing her along on the trip, she should definitely do something nice as a thank you, even if it's in-room pizza, depending on the budget, or doing some babysitting!

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I do kind of think if she is going to have your kids in her room that you should pay a portion of the room.
If you do a condo i don't think it's fair that she pay half if you have six people staying there and she only is there herself.

I guess you have to kind of put yourself in her position and see how you might feel. Would you really want to pay the same as a family who has six people?

Just my opinion though.

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Jodie....Wife to Andrew (1995)
Mommy to Riley (2000) and Wyatt (2003)

I do understand her thinking and in the past we've always done splitting of things with couple with kids so it didn't make sense to divide it out per person but just per family

I guess when my dh and I talked about it we were thinking that she will not have to pay more for one child in her room. I would never expect her to pay more for something because of one of my kids.

In reality when you go to a hotel many times it costs a set amount of money per room whether it's for 1 person or for 6 depending on the ages of the people. When I travel on business I pay $80-$100 for a room and it's just me. When we just went this past weekend it was the same cost for 6 people because all of my kids are under 12. The Holiday Inn we stayed at kids under 12 eat and stay free up to 4 kids per family.

It is interesting to hear everyone's views and thanks for the replies

Only time will tell but I think it may not be in the best interest of us to travel with anyone else. We may only get to Disney once and it will be difficult if we have different ideas on everything

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We are Disney nuts and go about 4 times a year. Now that we have a DVC we have friends out the wazoo.

When a friend wants to come with I ask for airfare to be paid back in full, they pay all their park tickets and for the DDP. We don't stay at the DVC on weekends so I then have them pay for their room at the hotel. If possible, I also ask for help with my DS in exhange for the DVC. I am using up points at double by having to get a 2 br villa instead of a 1 br. It all cost one way or another but I do try to be fair.

If it is going to be a huge problem then maybe not having her come along. Disney is so magical!

I agree with Jodie. I think where you made the mistake was in telling her she HAD to have one or two of your children in her room. So then it does become not just her room she's paying for, but also a way for you to get a smaller cheaper room than you could get for 6 people. So in a way, it is helping you and you probably should be expected to pay some. I'm not sure I think you paying 2/3 for two kids to stay in there would be fair, but maybe you paying 1/2 if two kids stay in her room. As far as the condo, I think she's right. I again am not sure that you should divide it evenly per person (in other words you paying 6/7 and her only paying 1/7). That seems unfair to you. But I certainly don't think she should pay as much as 6 people!! That seems totally unfair also. Maybe you pay 2/3 and her pay 1/3 or something like that would be more fair.

But whatever you decide, make sure everyone is happy with it. It wouldn't be worth it to me to have to spend the wk together with either or you thinking you were taken advantage of and resenting it. That would be a good way to ruin a vacation. Hope it works out!

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I don't think you should go with her at all. I think it would just cause problems and she doesn't seem very reasonable and fair. I think in the long run, it'll be problematic to try to go with her and share costs.

Maybe if you pay for her room, she pays for the gas, or half the food, or the tickets to get in the park. I think having her keep one or two of your kids in her room, you should offer to pay for half the room. If you got a time share thing, I would ask her to pay for the gas or some other expence instead of the lodging- I think that would just cause problems.
-C.

Yep see I think that is where my real problem is. It's more like a red flag that if there is going to be an issue over this maybe it's a sign of worse things to come yeah know. She had a HUGE fight with her sister about this very same thing and it got really ugly. I saw it frist hand but was not involved thankfully

At first I thought it started more like a favor such as she really wanted someone to go with and we were providing that and we wanted somewhere for 1 of our kids to stay so we could be in a basic room at Disney and she was providing that. Then money came up and I just got this bad feeling.

There is plenty of time so I really think we'll just keep looking for something off Disney that will accomodate our whole family on our own and deal with the issue of whether or not she is even coming later

Again thanks for all who replied I have a hard time remembering pre-kid let alone single

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