ok, so a really good friend of mine is getting married in may, and io am a bridesmaid, well the dress she wants is atleast 150.00 she said she will cover the rest becuase i said i can't afford anythign over 150 tops. and that is pushing it big time. she is coming to town next weekend to lookat more dresses and wants me to buy my dress right away, i explained to her that with school coming up, i have to buy some clothes for my dd as well as her school supplies and we have car ins. coming up, and not to mention the alarm company bill that is already 40 days overdue! anyways, i can't backout of the wedding it isn't an option. but to me 150.00 is a bit much for a dress you will wear once. i mean i only paid 400 for my wedding dress. her df makes 2x the amount of money mine does and she also works so she doesn't really worry about money the way we have to. and i just find it frustrating that i have to dish out so much money for the dress, as wel as the tri[p and a2 night stay at a hotel as well as food for 3 days, and plus the gift on top of everything. its not even my wedding and i have to save up over the next months just to go to it. plus we have numerous b-days and christmas to worry about between now and then. i am just stressed out about the money. if i didn';t have to spend this 150 on this dress, there is so much more i could do with it. i also want to have my savings up and with some money in it as well. i am jsut stressed out. i need a break from worrying about money issues. and i can't talk to anyone in my family about it becuase they say go get a job then. and thats not really an option for me. it would cost me to much to go to work. daycare expenses and gas expenses. its ridiculous.

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Kimberley

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sorry to hear that...hmmm I thought the bride is suppose to pay for that!?! I was once in a wedding party....my aunts and she paid for my dress.

Just explain to your friend that money is tight right now and you can't afford it. I am sure she will understand. After all....she was the one who asked you to part of the wedding party right!?!

good luck and smile!!

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My JSEVENS: JJ, Jaren, Jocelyn, Jamie, Jasmine, Jordan
"Mom of Seven...Darn Proud"

When my friends bought the dress for my wedding, they got to pay it in payments. I would hope for 150 dollars it is a store that will let you pay in payments, you just don't get the dress until it is paid for. I know you don't want to back out. Telling her you don't have the money is not backing out. She should be able to come up with some sort of deal. Like picking a cheaper dress, or maybe getting you someone to share a hotel with. Is the wedding in an area where any of her family lives. Can someone let you stay at their house. Go as cheap on the food as you can. Do you get to pick what hotel? Pick one that includes meals, or at least breakfast. Bring snacks, or if that is not possible, buy snacks while you are there. Go as cheap as you can on your dining.
Think of some good ideas that wont cost much for a wedding present. I once got a cousin a scrapbook I found really cheap at TJMaxx, and it was a nice one. Look around at places like Hobby Lobby, Michaels or Joanne Fabrics. Hancock Fabrics too. Their are usually coupons for 40-50 percent off in the paper. If you do some looking, you can find some very nice stuff at a good price. Even dollar stores have nice scrapbook stuff now.

[quote=JSEVEN]...hmmm I thought the bride is suppose to pay for that!?! I was once in a wedding party....my aunts and she paid for my dress.




Really?? Wow, I didn't pay for my bridesmaids. And I've been in several weddings and I always paid for my own dress.

Perhaps you just need to be honest and tell her you can't afford to be in her wedding. You can probably bow out nicely. Otherwise I don't really have any solution except...get a job What you don't want to hear!! But maybe you could just work on wknds or eves or whenever dh is home until you save enough for the wedding. Don't really have any other suggestions!!

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We had 2 weddings hubby and I awere both in a month apart 3years ago. It was awfull. My dress was $150, I paid for her bridal shower myself, the hotel was $100 a night. Then the wedding DH was in we paid for the tux, and a hotel room. I think we spent around $700 for both weddings unfortuantly it was famiyl and we didn't have much of a choice. When I got married I had someone make my girls dresses and it only cost them $50 a piece.

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I think since she is your friend just be honest with her and tell her you cant afford it right now, she might be able to come up with some ideas if she doesnt want to lose you in her wedding party.

For my wedding over here the bride pays for the brides maids dressses and thats what I did for mine. I paid for the dreses, and flowers, they sorted their own accessories and shoes

Anne

i certainly do see your concerns. That is a lot of money to be needing for a lot of things going on in your life.

Is there a way you can have your dress made instead? SOmetimes you can find fabrics a lot more affordable and if you know someone who is willing to sew for you, you could get a deal on that. Just a thought

Secondly, why not try putting the dress on layaway and just make small payments from now until May. That way you can still have some spending money in your pocket

Lastly, if there is no way that you can drop out of the wedding than why not temporarily open up a credit card account that has "rewards". I know in times like this we have had friends open up a credit card that has rewards on it and just use that card for the time that they need it, and make payments on it when their head isn't under so much water!!! The rewards of having a card with rewards would be you would get a percentage back for using it, so you could consider that payments towards your credit balance. I've never done this before, but my friends said they have when they really really needed to.

I know that last example is extreme but I thought I would share it with you, in the event the other options are not doable for you!

Good luck

Oh I so know where you're coming from! My sister got married last year. The dresses she picked out cost $165. Since I was 16 weeks pregnant at the time of the wedding I had to pay $90 to get it altered. I ended up paying $250 for a dress I wore once and then donated to Goodwill. Since my husband and son were also in the wedding we had to pay for a tux rental for my husband too (thankfully my mom handled an outfit and shoes for my son). Add the cost of helping with the bridal shower, bridal shower and wedding gifts, etc. and we shelled out about $500 for one wedding! My one small moral victory was convincing my sister to let us wear silver sandals (I found mine at Wal-mart for $9) instead of the $40 dyed-maroon-to-match-the-dress sandals that one of the other, very more well to do bridesmaids was insisting that we wear. Let me tell you, having to pay that much money when finances are already tight really takes the joy out of the occasion.

As far as I know, bridesmaids are expected to pay for their own dresses and it is the bride's right to choose which dress she wants. Does the bride have her heart set on these dresses, or would she be open to looking for something a little more inexpensive? Is it possible that she would let you wear a more inexpensive dress that looks similar or is slightly different? Can you tell the bride that $150 is too much to pay for a dress after all (especially now)? Perhaps she will agree to pay for a bit more to help offset the cost - especially if she wants you to pay for the dress now.

I definitely feel for you. Weddings are hard when finances are tight - they're SO expensive and it's very easy for feelings to be hurt. Good luck!

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Stephanie
Mom to: Caleb (8-27-2003), Ian (9-28-2005), & Baby Boy #3 (EDD 11-9-2008)

I was in the same boat about a year ago. I was in my best friend's wedding where I had to but the dress ($200), three plane tickets ($750), hotel for 2 nights, food, anything else. Let me tell you....! I had just had my 2nd dd, so she was there too, at 5 wks, plus all this travel and expense. Not too psyched about that wedding...not to mention that it was one of FIVE my dh and I were in (4 together) THAT YEAR!!!!!

Anyway, my point is that it is VERY early for her to be demanding that you buy the dress now, for a wedding in May. I actually just this past weekend ordered a dress for a wedding I'm in this October. You may be able to put a small deposit down if she wants them ordered now, but to pay for the whole thing now is silly. Maybe she doesn't know that and wants to make sure they're here on time???

I would ask her that if she is going to demand you order the dress and pay for it now, that SHE pay and you pay her back in payments. There's PLENTY of time for that. She'll probably say that there are a lot of wedding expenses, blah, blah, blah, but if she is a true friend and she wants you in the wedding badly enough, she'll help you out! Good luck!

like others said make payments most reputable bridal shops take payments. you do not need to buy the whole thing this far in advance.

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