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Old 03-08-2007, 04:38 PM   #21
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abbysmommy
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My children are all mainstream, but one is in an EBD classroom on an "as needed" basis and works closely with the EBD teacher. One has RAD and is overly friendly, so she has alot of "friends"...but they're not what I'd really call friends...up until recently, she did have one "true blue" friend, but their classes were changed and they don't get to see each other as often...anyway, I guess they're just average. The youngest of the three in school is the most liked by friends, but obviously, she doesn't have any emotional or behavioral issues that she's dealing with. She really is "just herself" and that's what makes people like her.

Sadly, I really think the issue lies in examples set for children or sometimes even the lack of an example set. I'd never say that children who are mean to other children are taught to be that way by horrible parents...I just think that alot of times there aren't examples set or maybe the parent doesn't even have the opportunity to go out of their way to be nice to others who are different (ie., they don't know anyone different). I do teach my children to treat everyone just like they'd want to be treated if they had the same issue as the other person...and I do hope they try when they're away from me. They know there will be strict consequences if I EVER catch them making fun of ANYONE for ANY reason. Catie, my oldest, has a great love for children who are different...in the middle school, they let children take turns helping out in the FMD room...and she can't WAIT for her turn. Jacob...he teeters...he's somewhat different too (Bipolar disorder) so he struggles to be liked at times...and that makes him lash out at people or try to do what others do, which isn't always the best action to take (ie., following the examples of bullies).

I know that not all children would listen or apply it (some never will, sadly enough), but I desperately feel that schools need to put programs in place to help children learn how to treat others. NOT adding to the teacher's curriculum...Heaven knows they have enough to teach...but around here they have what they call "Kids On The Block"...and they are a traveling puppet show team that goes to the different schools to teach children how to treat others...including children who are different...one of the puppets is even in a wheelchair. I realize it's a parent's place to teach it at home, but sadly enough, all too often it just doesn't get taught.
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Old 03-08-2007, 05:24 PM   #22
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Kellyandgirls
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My oldest who is on 1st grade I feel like she is well liked as I witnessed 2 of her firends having a mini fight of who was sitting by her on a field trip (I didnt een get to sit with her lol).she actually got al emabrrased and overwhelmed and came to me upset cause she didnt like that it was happening as she is a VERY shy child!. I have always told my kids you dont have to like everyone but you do have to respect everyone and not be mean!! my ypoungest who is in preK well she is liked but not well liked!! she is Very nice ast school! but 1 girl (who is gone thank god) Was mean and well her mom was too and her mom was well liked (It even happens as an adult I feel)
(an ex of the mom~ I was at an event with a firend the mom goes up to my freind with whom im RIGHT next to and starts talking ot her and gets right in between the 2 of us and puts her back in my face! my friend moved so she would not be and she did it again!! Sinc eI knew my firned was trying to respect me I walked away to help my kid!! )
anyhow That is just an idea!! it can happen as adults !! my rule with my kids Even if you dont like them you need to respect them!!! Even more so the kids that are so called Different!! an dot be honest my youngest picks out the kids who are to be her firends!! I hope she stays that way!!
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Old 03-08-2007, 05:28 PM   #23
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blessed_with_6
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In our school system here, bullying is a HUGE no-no. They really emphasize it much more than I've ever seen at any other school. The kids take a class with the guidance counselor during the first nine weeks that teaches them to be nicer to others. There is ZERO tolerance, and I am so glad of that.
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Old 03-08-2007, 06:07 PM   #24
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aliadam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellyandgirls
. I have always told my kids you dont have to like everyone but you do have to respect everyone and not be mean!!
Hey this is exactly what I say!!! I've always told my kids that you don't have to like everyone but you have to be polite and nice to everyone. One time my ds came home saying there was a new child and people were making fun of the child. We spent a long time saying "how would you feel if you were new &...." And once when my dd was having a bday party, she was going to invite all the girls in her class except one...not because she didn't like the girl but because she just didn't know her well. Again I said "What if you were the only one who didn't get invited?" I agree that children learn what their parents display, and I think sometimes as adults we don't realize how our behavior may appear. I remember there was a little girl in my dd's 2nd grade class who made fun of my dd's clothes and hurt her feelings. At the end of the school year there was an appreciation breakfast for the parents who volunteered and I heard this girls mother critiquing some little boys clothes to her dh. I thought "so THIS is where that little girl learned to judge people by their clothes". So I just think it's important for parents to model kind behavior and hopefully their children will learn from that.
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