I just got a call from an old friend that she is going to be in town. I love her and have known her since elementary but i am not sure i want her to visit.

She's kind of into herself. Everything has to be a name brand, is into fashion and style, has to have the newest everything, her house is beautiful (her words) and nicely decorated. It's always been like this. She always tells me about her gorgeous sister and how well she is doing in life. She'll tell me how mutual acquaintances have gorgeous children and homes and is driving a brand new car...etc etc......

Soooooooo the thing is I don't have the fanciest house and i don't drive the fanciest cars. I don't make a ton of money and i'm not gorgeous....I'm heavy and i don't wear the best of the best clothes. I hardly wear make up.

I just don't want her looking down on what i have. I'm happy with what i have but I know it won't be good enough for her. I don't want her going to the others that we know (that i don't like) and telling them that boy Jodie doesn't really have that nice of a home....blah blah blah........

I mentioned this to another friend and she pointed out that i have a great husband and two beautiful boys and that my friend is probably envious of ME and that i shouldn't worry what she's going to think of my stuff.

This is the only person that has ever made me feel this way and of course she's the one who wants to come for a visit.

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Jodie....Wife to Andrew (1995)
Mommy to Riley (2000) and Wyatt (2003)

Jodie, a real friend loves you no matter what you have and what you look like.
I agree with your other friend you have 2 beautiful kids, (I've never seen DH, but you seem pretty happy ) Are you happy with your life? That's what matters.

Like I said a real friend loves you for YOU. Not what you have or don't have and a real friend is happy for you no matter how much, or little you have.

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I had a friend like that and I finaly decided to stop talking to her. I feel much better now!

But thats me and this particular person went out of her way to hurt me. HAs this friend ever said anything mean to you or are you makeing yourself feel this way?? KWIM? Fi she truely is your friend she doesnt think that way about you.

You say you 'love' her but you don't want her to visit...do you really love her as a friend? A true friend won't care if you're not thin, don't have the fanciest house etc...kwim?

I have a friend from college. Well, she's not really a friend. L.OL. We were roommates one year and had the same group of friends. After we graduated I realized that she was very toxic to me and I just didn't like her as a person. She would call or email me when she was in town and wanted to visit and after a few visits, I decided that she didn't make me happy, she made me sad. So I stopped responding to her calls, emails, cards etc Life is too short for relationships like that!

I totally agree with everyone else. It is your home, and if you don't want her to visit, then don't have her visit. If you are just going to stress about the visit instead of look forward to it, then it just isn't worth it.

Can't you all grab lunch at Applebee's ($6 lunch) and bring pics of the kids and if you feel the need splurge at goodwill (I have a 3x friend that buys NEW clothes there) for 99 cents per piece and call dillards and schedule a make over. That's what I'd do.lol

I agree, too. It's your home and you should have only people you really want in it. I also agree that it's very possible she is envious of you, so why invite her over for more envy?

It is also possible (maybe a tiny bit) that she has changed. Maybe you could meet her for coffee instead? Either way, good luck!

I was just going to say this. A happy family is WAY more valuable than things any day of the week. You should be happy, confident, and proud that you live in one!

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I do love her. It's just that we are just so different and it's easier to love her at a distance.
I don't really talk to her much and when i do it's mostly one sided....her side.

So I guess i have nothing to be ashamed of with my little humble abode. If she wants to come here i'll let her. If she wants to meet half way that would be even better. Either way i'm not going to let it get to me. I am who i am and she can love me or leave me.

It would be nice if she didn't have to be such a knock out too.

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Jodie....Wife to Andrew (1995)
Mommy to Riley (2000) and Wyatt (2003)

I have a friend that is sorta like that. All our conversations seem to be one sided and the things she does a lot of is complains about herself (like I am too fat- meanwhile she is a size 2 and so on)- I have come to the realization that she is just fishing for compliments. For the most part I really do enjoy her- when she is not focused on herself.

I understand that your friend is kind of the same way- but like they say- things aren't what they always appear and maybe she is having self doubt and thinking positively (maybe she read the Secret that Oprah was talking about ). Or maybe she may just have a sunny dispostion that makes you feel down on yourself- because not all of us have the nicest things to say about ourselves and other people. I say spend sometime with you- I am sure your friend loves you for you and she will probably say positive things about you to the other people you talk too! I hope!