i have heard a hundred times now " oh gosh, 2 is nothing...3 is horrible!" well i'm living it.
seems like 2 minutes after turning 3, my daughter has turned into a smiling nightmare and its really breaking me down.....i really dont like the mom im becoming...THE YELLER and i know the yelling scares her - for a minute - but does nothing really.

yes, its my kid who is the one running amock in the parking lot, who is dead legging it in the middle of the entrance to church/school whatever and refuses to stand, who wont get out of the pool after swim lessons (and i am dressed) and smiles as i tell her to come out and she happily yells "NO" while i am almost in tears because i just cant yell anymore or louder in a public place. (and i wont yell in public - so maybe thats a clue) and yes, i do the "prep talk" of what i expect, and what the plan is, and what will await her if all goes well.....doesnt matter.

so, i dont know what to do. she's a good kid and things go well 75% of the time, but man, that 25% is whats really making these past 4 months really bad for me.

before i crack up, please someone, tell me some tricks on how to get through situations like this OUT IN PUBLIC cause i really need some insight. and just to fill in the blanks, i have a 15 mos. old also so there are times i need for the 3 yr old to wait a moment while i buckle baby in or hold baby, etc and i expect 3 yr old to hold my hand while we walk into a store or over to the shopping carts...instead she takes off and laughes as i chase her...

help.

When she does these things what do you do in addition to the yelling? Does she get punished for her behavior? I see many times where parents tell their child "no" or "you'll get in trouble", but never follow through with a punishment. I am not sure if that is the case here or not. If it is, make sure that she clearly knows what will happen if she does not comply with your requests and stand by what you say no matter how much she protests. Be sure that the punishment is something that will be meaningful for her, like taking away her favorite toy, not going to _______, loosing tv privledges, etc. Don't be afraid to let her have a fit in public when you stick by your guns. She needs to learn that you are the boss and you mean business. Good luck!

I was doing a lot of yelling and was resorting to swatting bottoms and felt horrible about it, I couldn't stand the parent my kids had forced me to become. I had heard others talk about 1-2-3 Magic, so I finally got it out of the library. Let me tell you, this was a different house in just days. My oldest is stubborn and very hard headed, he took about 4-5 days to fall completely in line. I works from age 2 on. At first I was skeptical, but it really works. Get thee to your library and fast.

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~*JAMI*~ GO RED SOX! WORLD CHAMPIONS!

Try the "1-2-3 Magic" magic book. No yelling. Works great- a plan for any scenario. Phelan is the author (I think). I got a copy at the library, and it has worked wonders at my house.

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I don't believe in miracles; I depend on them

Yes 1-2-3 magic worked great. I had gotten the dvd from the library. Save yourself the library hassle with the kids and go to rour library web site and have them hold it for you. That way you can be in and out without having to search for it!! Good luck. I might get it back out again for a refresher.

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"Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body." ~Anonymous

First off, I think at that age it's unfortunately perfectly normal. Second I think consistency is the key. Yelling does nothing for most kids, they will just tune it out. Thirdly at 3 she can learn some consequences. She yells for not getting out of the pool? No pool next day. Running in the parking lot? Turn around and go back home. You do this often enough and she'll get the message. Just be consistent, don't do it once and then the next time make exceptions. It IS a total pain, but it works. It is so much easier to let things go but Not in the long run.

My favorite parenting quote: Parenting is 12 years HARD work and 12 years maintenance.

I feel your pain. My dd (3) is driving me insane too. I'm so glad you posted this and I am going to go get that book soon. Oh BTW....you have a younger child....sometimes the older child will do anything to keep your attention on them...they want any attention...good or bad. Good Luck to you...
Heather

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Heather
Mom to three dd 14, ds 8, dd 5

Wait, my son has been doing this for 2 or 3 months now and he's only 2 1/2! I've tried everything, and yes, I've become the yelling mother. I feel terrible about it and I know it doesn't work but I follow through with the punishment if he doesn't obey, and it doesn't do anything. He listens to my MIL and she never yells, so I try that and he laughs and disobeys me (he won't do that to her). DH will openly tell him his consequences if he does something he isn't supposed to do and most times DS listens (or does after the first consequence). I try that - doesn't work. He is stubborn and he likes to test his boundaries with me. I'm constant with following through, but it doesn't help. It just means that I always have a screaming child on my hip as I leave the store or MIL's house, etc. It doesn't help that I've a small body frame and he's so strong and wiggly - I have a hard time keeping hold of him when he goes wirey on me when he's mad. I'll have to check out this book - it seems to have worked wonders for others. Is it just counting to 3 and then following through with consequences? I've been trying that - this is what I get.
ME: One.
DS: No Mommy.
ME: Two.
DS: No Mommy.
ME: Three.
DS: No Mommy.
Each time I count he goes further, and then I get to three and punish him, including talking to him about why he got punished. I keep thinking I'm this terrible parent because my MIL did 1-2-3 with her kids and they said they were deathly afraid of her getting to 3. She isn't a violent women at all.. I don't know how she did it! Maybe this book will help me. THanks

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We recently were trained in 1-2-3 Magic and the guy who trained us also adapted it for older children (12 and up) and he calls that 1-2-3 Choice (instead of timeout, the older child loses a privilege for the day, has an earlier bedtime, etc.). I love it. It hasn't worked miracles in my oldest, but she hates it and that's a start. She told me not long ago she'd rather I spank her...go figure...she's 14 years old.

I know your pain, though...but fortunately don't have a younger child to deal with right now in addition to the 3 y/o. However, I have told people over and over again that whoever coined the phrase "Terrible Two's" did NOT yet have a 3 year old!!!!

We are going through a similar thing with DD. We never had this problem with any of the boys. I thought maybe it was a girl thing! Guess not! Actually, I thought it had more to do with my being sick the last 8-9 months and having to rely on others to help out with her. I think she's used to getting a lot of attention and getting her own way (others spoiled her when I wouldn't have).

Our biggest challenge is getting her to sit still - in church, at a ballgame, at a play/movie or other program, in the shopping cart. She also likes to "put-on" cry when she doesn't get her way. She's SO the drama queen! I'm hoping this is just a phase or at least something we can reverse with persistance . . .

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Homeschooling Mom to Daniel (12 Years), Andrew (9 Years), Stephen (7 Years) and Emily (3 Years)

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