I have been struggling with this topic lately. I have worked hard to not gain much weight with the kids, but last Christmas, I put on 15lbs! I started working on my diet and exercise, and then found out I'm pregnant. Now I'm at a point where I have 1 pair of pants that fit and feel very frumpy and have morning sickness. I look forward to feeling better and hope it won't be too hard to lose the weight after this baby!

I did this. I went to my closet one day, exasperated at the disaster of a wardrobe that I had from over 10 years ago, and just took everything that had holes through it, seams all ripped out, faded, worn straight through the fabric, too tight, etc and threw it in garbage bags. 8 of them and two boxes to be exact. I had a huge mess of stuff that was over 10 years old (and originally bought at a thrift store, already broken in). It's all gone. Well I take that back, it's all in the plastic bags in the corner of my bedroom. I figured if I bagged up all the things I shouldn't/couldn't wear, it would force me to get new clothes. Well, I went out and bought a pair of khaki pants (to have one nice pair of pants with no holes in them) and washed them once and they shrunk. (I hung them to dry!) Can't wear those again. My MIL bought me some jeans like she would wear - super high waisted and oversized. I've been sludging in them ever since (the only pair I own that don't have holes throughout).

I feel like such a grubby mess. I've resorted to wearing pjs and DS's shirts all day long, even going to the store in them. Nothing else fits! (or it isn't presentable for a pastor's wife) I don't get to take a shower before 2pm so I go through a good part of my day all frumpy and feeling disgusting. I've tried taking showers at night, but it doesn't make me feel clean in the morning b'c I've just slept all night and sweated and rolled around in the blankets.. I just don't feel clean in the morning. I don't wear makeup anymore b'c I can't get it to look right. (I feel like I'm either making myself look more tired and worse, or like a hooker.) My hair takes a good 40 minutes to dry and style, and though I love it long (as does DH), it's like a stumbling block.

I know that some new clothes would definitely boost my self esteem but we don't have the money for them. MIL buys me things and I'm grateful to have new clothes, but they don't do anything for me and are 9/10 times oversize so they don't help me feel better or look better. it just looks like i'm wearing denim pjs. I struggle with "I want to feel better about myself, maybe some new clothes will help me do that" and "there are so many people out there that would give anything to have even my 'frumpy' clothes to warm their backs - how selfish and materialistic are you? what really matters? what is really important?" and then i go put on my pjs and take on my day, confused and unhappy with myself.

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I have definatley let myself go- with the first one- I kept up with my appearance (then again I was working for the first 7 years of having her!) but the weight slowly crept on. It all went downhill when I was pregnant with my 2nd one! I was laid off work and we decided I would be a SAHM and then money got tighter and so on. Yes- I am the last one who gets anything, I really let myself go- but I have been exercising, watching what I eat, paying more attention to how I dress and actually bought myself a new outfit for this summer.

After Coby was born,i had stayed home for almost 3 yrs. with him.And i was really just not caring much about my appearance much,unless running errands,appts,etc.So,when i finally went back to working outside the home,it felt so nice to wear nice clothes,do my hair and makeup everyday,manicures and pedicures........i ffel like my age now versus feeling 15 yrs. older.Of course,on the weekends.........................i try not to get dressed up unless i have things to do in town.

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The thing I really struggle with is that I never had myself in the first place.. I grew up with a frumpy Mom. I didn't have any older sisters. I never learned how to dress to suit my body or wear make-up and I'm not even sure where to begin. Any advice on how to start from the beginning (books, websites, etc) would be greatly appreciated. I'd love to spruce myself up a bit but I don't know how.

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No, not really. Like Starlite said, I didn't have any fashion sense before I got pregnant, so it doesn't matter that I don't have any now (although I have made more of an effort in the last year to wear jeans and a nice shirt on a more regular basis rather than fleece pants and a t-shirt which is a habit I fell into after my oldest son was born). I've never worn make-up, so that hasn't changed either. I'm actually in better shape now weight/fitness wise than I was before I got pregnant (although my shape has shifted thanks to having kids).

Do I feel unfashionable and unpretty sometimes? YES. Does it have anything to do with having kids? NO! It's just who I am. I would rather be comfortable and be able to shower and go so I keep things low maintenance. Having kids hasn't changed any of that. Of course I struggle with my self-esteem but that seems to be par for the course in our society these days.

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Stephanie
Mom to: Caleb (8/03), Ian (9/05), & Lucas (11/08)