I really don't know what to title this...

I watched Ellen today and it was a repeat from Jan w/ Terry & Bindi Irwin. (Bindi, btw, is amazing, just absolutely amazing for an 8 yr old! So smart and well spoken. Wow!) Terry and Ellen were talking about how it seems like somehow it's been so long since Steve died. Terry said it's like when you're watching a really good movie, you just want to remember every detail of it, saying that's how she feels about Steve, that if she doesn't keep remembering everything that she's going to forget things about him.

Do any of you feel this way about anyone you've lost? It just really struck me, because I've always felt that way about my grandparents. I was so close to them, they basically raised me most of my life, my Gramma was like my mom, and it was so hard losing them. I sometimes just sit and think about all the little things about them, just simple things you don't think about when they're here, because I feel like if I don't keep thinking about them, I'll just forget it all. I know it's probably crazy, if it makes any sense at all, but I've felt like that since Grampa died 10 yrs ago. Like I just never want to lose anything, any little detail, any thought, any memory of them. I want to remember their laugh, the sounds of their voices, their smells, their annoying habits, all of it.

I don't focus on it everyday or anything, but just when I have a thought of them or glance at a pic of them or talk about them w/ someone, I start thinking about them and just remember all these crazy little things. Guess it's just my way of keeping them with me maybe.

So, am I the only one that thinks about this?

No we lost DHs father last year, and I am amazed at how much more DH thinks about him now that he is gone. I think it is always important to remember them but at the same time not to be obsessesed with there loss. I have yet to loose any close loved ones but I know I will miss them. I will remember things about my grandmothers when they go. How they lived, what they enjoyed.

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006

I had a huge fear that I would forget things about my boys (and that everyone else would just completely forget about them). I can say that in the almost 10 years since they died, I can still see them in my mind just as they were. When they were born, we heard them cry very briefly and then they were intubated and put on vents and we never heard them cry again. I can still hear that those cries and to me, the sound of a newborn cry is the most beautiful sound in the world. The smells and sounds of the NICU you are forever burned into my mind.

We have lots of pictures of them and my two younger children are carbon copies so I can still see their features. It's hard when you lose children because the picture you have in your mind is how they were when they died. I cannot picture them as they would be now so they will always be those tiny little babies in my mind.

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Marcy
Proud wife of Tim, Mom to Sean (8/87), Ethan (10/98), Sam (9/02)
and angels Nathanial (8/6/97-8/8/97) and Benjamin (8/6/97-8/21/97)

Until they all come home......
Life is a Journey (follow my blog about my journey)

It has been more than 10 years since my son died. We do forget some things about him, but there are still, oh so many things we remember!!! Even my boys remember him and they were not even born when he died. So, I guess that means we talk about him quite a bit!!! I also see some of my older son in all 4 of my little boys. What is weird is that 3 of them are older than he ever got to be!!! I really cannot imagine how he would be if he were alive and 17 today!!! To me he will always be 6.5!!!

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~Happiness is a large family~

The one thing I never want to forget about people I love who have died is the sound of their voice. My dad died 23 years ago adn I can still hear his voice. My 4 yo niece died 2.5 years ago and I keep trying to remember her voice so it will be etched in my mind forever. It makes me sad thinking about my niece dying so young. I don't think I'll ever think about it without being sad.

I had 2 grandparents pass away when I was 8 yrs old. That was such a long time ago to be. I remember things about them and think of them often. I still remember the song my mom and her sisters sang at my Gma's funeral. Every time I hear it I tear up. I had my other 2 gradparents both pass away (my Grandma in July and my grandpa in March) recently. They both lived for so long with out their spouses. I loved them both. They were all amazing people. My Grandpa that just passed away in March hit us the hardest. We were not expecting him to go, but he had been ready for a long time.
It is a comfort to be that they are reunited with their spouses after 17 long years of being without them. I like to think they are up there taking care of my unborn kids, so that all my kids will know that they had amazing Great Grandparents.

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Austin
Mom to 3 beautiful girls

Today is the 2nd anniversary of my Dad's death. This is also the day we buried my Mom two years ago. A few months after these funerals, my sister sent me our Mom's sewing box (a cheese wheel, covered in fabric) and in one of the inside pockets I found a micro audio cassette tape, like the ones used in handheld recorders. When I put in my recorder and heard my Mom's recorded phone conversation with one of my Aunts I was in SHOCK! Not that I think I'd ever forget the sound of her voice, but now I can hear the sound of my Mom's very distinct laugh whenever I want!! Everyone in my family thinks the sound of my voice (and laugh) is an exact copy of my Moms'. In the months before she died, she kept asking me to promise to never let my DD forget her. (Like she KNEW something might happen...) Now my DD will always have this recording of G'mas voice to listen to!!

I've lost 5 close relatives in the past 2-3 yrs...and so far I haven't forgotten their voices, their demeanor, or funny quirks. I hope I never do.

I'm coming up on the 2nd anniversary of my Daddy's death and it's funny what you do and don't remember. I try so hard to always remember his scent. I loved the way he smelled and I can still smell it if I try really hard. Another thing is his voice. It's forever in my mind too though. Sometimes I will forget the simplest things, and then in some odd off the wall moment remember something that I haven't thought about in years. It's like he's saying to me "Hey, remember when....." so that I can have a smile, or a "heart glitch" (that was his word for when something happens in life and makes your heart skip a beat ).:love:

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