My birthday is on Father's Day

allgirls · **My birthday is on Father's Day**

Okay I have been dealing with this for years and as a kid my bday always took a backseat to father's day. we didn't really celebrate bday aside from my mom making a cake, but when fathers day fell on my bday I usually didn't get a cake.

Now lets fast forward to the present. Dh wants to go to surprise his grandfather and go to his church that morning and spend the day at grandfathers. Any other day I would say fine.

here's my side, We have to get up early to get to grandpa's and dh and kids can barely make it to our church on time. also dh's uncle will probably be there as well and he brings his dog which is big and not trained. the kids are terrified of him and will not go outside if dog is there, even if dog is tied up( he has escaped when girls were outside). so I end up sitting in the house by myself with the girls while dh is outside with grandpa and usually whoever shows up. I am usually bored and normally do go but this is my bday and I would rather stay home and clean and I HATE cleaning.

dh keeps talking about it as it it is a done deal, which is pissing me off. and no, he has no plans for my bday. I brought myself personnal training time so that is the gift but I wouldn't mind having drinks and a BBQ.
okay what do u think?
allgirls

momma2boys · 06-14-2007, 10:35 PM

Could you compromise, and go there for a few hours, and then go home and party!!

It's not very nice of your dh to just completely disreguard you and your day. I'd say there has to be a compromise somewhere!

desertmom · 06-14-2007, 11:16 PM

I say you need to talk to dh and tell him how you feel. Is there any way you can celebrate one of them on Saturday instead? We often have to celebrate on the actual non-day due to travel schedules budgets, etc.

allgirls · 06-14-2007, 11:33 PM

dh likes to spend the whole day at grandpa's since it is 45 min one way. not far but far enough for a couple hours.

We have a graduation for dh's side of the family on sat so we will see everyone there. We have been invited to a friends house for sat evening pool party.

I have talked to dh but he doesn't want to listen.

I think I will just stay in bed all day.

allgirls

mezzchick · 06-15-2007, 03:21 AM

All I can say is...I know what you mean! My B-day is the 18th, so it occassionally falls on Father's Day, as do my two oldest (the 15th and 16th) I hate that!

mommomsquad · 06-15-2007, 05:13 AM

Wish I had some words of wisdom for you-
I don't, but I can send you great big hugs.

maassl · 06-15-2007, 06:37 AM

I know what you mean. Mine is on the 19th and 2 years ago when it fell on Father's Day it was a really crappy day because DH wanted a total day off which is OK normally but we can't both take the day off so guess who had to do all the work... I have basicly learned to give up all my expectations for my birthday then I won't be as dissappointed.

One thing that I have learned in problems like this with my dh is that if I write stuff down logically (i.e. #1 the kids won't be able to play outside, #2 we've just spent Sat with your fam, #3 etc...) and then give it to him to read without all my emotionalness and whining getting in the way it helps. And sure, he often decides to what he wants instead of what I want but sometimes he can see it my way (men think more logically, women more emotionally).

I can see his point though... who knows how much longer he's going to have his grandpa but maybe you could do it next Sunday instead. Just my 2 cents.

Decide to have a good day and you will. If you go into the day thinking it is going to be awful it will be. I'll pray for you on Sunday and hope you have a great day!