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Old 06-15-2007, 09:32 AM   #1
Default How do you punish your children?
FreebieFreak1
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What do you guys do to punish your children for misbehaving?
do you spank?do you speak firm?i need some help nothing i do seems to help?
i have been trying the put them in the corner thing and that just isnt working anymore?
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Old 06-15-2007, 10:01 AM   #2
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Oregano
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Well my kids are 9 and 12...but I discipline pretty much the same way I've always done it. We don't spank, never have. IMO, it serves no purpose. I know there are plenty of people that do it, but it's not for me.

I have always given my kids very clear expectations...I don't count to three, I don't give chances. They know how I want them to behave and if they don't they can go to their room. I guess that is sorta a 'time out' although we never called it that.

I'm pretty strict, I expect my kids to behave properly at home and in public. I expect good manners and respectful behavior. I tell them I'm proud of how they behave. We've had many people over the years come up to us and tell us how wonderful our children are...so it's good for them to hear that from strangers.

You might try reading 1-2-3 Magic, it's a good book. Your local library probably has a copy. Good luck!

1-2-3 Magic: Parenting Solutions using Positive Discipline from Dr. Thomas Phelan
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Old 06-15-2007, 10:11 AM   #3
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My Mom bought us this cute little time out bench that actually has time out painted on it. Unfortunately Riley loves it and will sit on it and read her books, so the time out bench doesn't really work for us.

We have spanked. By spanking I mean a light swat on her bottom to get her attention when she is having a meltdown. But putting her over my knee for a real spanking? No. We will never do that.

What works best right now (Riley is 3-1/2) is that when she misbehaves, fun stuff is taken away. If she has a tantrum at the playground, we come home. If she watching tv and won't listen, the tv goes off. If she throws her toys, they are taken away. If she mouths off, there's no ice cream or fun treats. We are trying to teach that when you don't act nice, there are no nice rewards. Right now, it is working like a charm. She's actually very well behaved on a regular basis, but she is three.
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Old 06-15-2007, 10:20 AM   #4
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we have two 2 years olds and a 3 year olds and weve tried the same swat on the butt thing also didnt do any good...tried to send them to their room they just fight in there...and weve triend putting them in the corner for 2 or 3 minutes...that only works sometimes...im tired of yelling an stressing myself out...i know that they are kids and kids act up but i dont want to be bald by my 23 birthday...
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Old 06-15-2007, 11:06 AM   #5
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My oldest was the easiest (must be the Cancer in her)- she would have time out for really bad things, the occasional smack on the bottom (nothing hard- but it did throw her off guard be surprised) and the look if she was about to get in trouble and she quickly learned if I get the look I need to stop or she will be upset at me.

The youngest is soo much harder than the first- and she was from the get go. She is very strong willed, loud and so on (she gets it from her father!). I've tried everything on her- getting to her level, taking things away and so on (yes she will get an occasional smack on the bottom too- nothing hard though!). Anyways- I think a lot of it has to do with her age- she will be 4 at the end of August and from memory I recall my oldest giving me the most problems at 3 as well!
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Old 06-15-2007, 11:12 AM   #6
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and yet they say terribe 2's haha
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Old 06-15-2007, 11:18 AM   #7
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I use 1-2-3-Magic and love it. It works well for us.
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Old 06-15-2007, 11:48 AM   #8
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I take things away. That always seems to work with my kids. They don't like having their things taken away!
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Old 06-15-2007, 11:58 AM   #9
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Time-outs here...and they are very very very far and few between. I hope I'll be saying the same thing as they get older
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Old 06-15-2007, 12:10 PM   #10
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How do I punish my children?

Creatively.

Let me first say something about the word 'punishment'. By the time I have to 'punish' my child, it is sort of too late. Punishment is retribution for not obeying. I prefer to concentrate on 'discipline' which the act of teaching them TO obey. I try to predict when my child will be tempted to disobey then set-up a scenerio so they are highly motivated to do what is right. For instance, if we're going to a play date, I'll remind DD I want her to share and be polite. I'll then ask her if she knows what will happen if she isn't nice. She knows. The playdate will end early.

But there are times when I can't predict what will tempt them and there are times where temptation gets the better of DD. In those cases, I have to respond with a consequence. This can take creativity because I want it to be a natural consequence of what they did, but sometimes it is hard to figure out a concrete way to demostrate it.

What DD does know is she doesn't know exactly what consequence she'll receive. It isn't always the same reaction. I don't simply send her to time out everytime. Most likely she'll lose SOME privilege, she just doesn't know which one.

This works so well because if a kid is used to a spanking or a time-out, they very easily get to thinking, "It is worth the pleasure of doing this bad thing because I can survive whatever Mom dishes out to me standing on my head." However, when the kid doesn't know exactly which punishment they'll get, it isn't so easy to decide that disobeying is worth it.
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