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06-15-2007, 12:10 PM
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#10
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For Richer or Poorer Mod
Last Online: Today 06:56 PM
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,550
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How do I punish my children?
Creatively.
Let me first say something about the word 'punishment'. By the time I have to 'punish' my child, it is sort of too late. Punishment is retribution for not obeying. I prefer to concentrate on 'discipline' which the act of teaching them TO obey. I try to predict when my child will be tempted to disobey then set-up a scenerio so they are highly motivated to do what is right. For instance, if we're going to a play date, I'll remind DD I want her to share and be polite. I'll then ask her if she knows what will happen if she isn't nice. She knows. The playdate will end early.
But there are times when I can't predict what will tempt them and there are times where temptation gets the better of DD. In those cases, I have to respond with a consequence. This can take creativity because I want it to be a natural consequence of what they did, but sometimes it is hard to figure out a concrete way to demostrate it.
What DD does know is she doesn't know exactly what consequence she'll receive. It isn't always the same reaction. I don't simply send her to time out everytime. Most likely she'll lose SOME privilege, she just doesn't know which one.
This works so well because if a kid is used to a spanking or a time-out, they very easily get to thinking, "It is worth the pleasure of doing this bad thing because I can survive whatever Mom dishes out to me standing on my head." However, when the kid doesn't know exactly which punishment they'll get, it isn't so easy to decide that disobeying is worth it.
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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."
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