I think i got a one-way ticket to B*tchyland this week?! Do you ever just get tired of being YOU and want to trade lives with someone else for awhile? I would love to trade places with someone who has a dh that is considerate, kind and hard working and atleast tells you he loves you once in the almost 17 years you have been married. One that didn't leave you feeling lonely or tunes you out. A man who enjoys being a father and is involved with his children, instead of saying " Tell her to shut up, i can't deal with her today!".(about our dd). One that gets off the couch to do things as a family.
I don't wanna be me anymore, i wanna be that girl that had some self esteem once, one that probably should have chosen more wisely 21 years ago which man she thought was best for her. The one that should have taken her education more seriously and wouldn't be left to rely on a man to support her.
Thanks for letting me vent.

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"Go on, get outside, get the stink blown off ya!!"

Oh hon I am soo sorry that you are feeling this way. I have been and am still there sometimes. It just really stinks! I comiserate w/ you. You can come and stay w/ me for awhile if you want. I will kick dh out and we can have a slumber party.

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SAHM to Elias 3/00, Camdyn 7/03 and Teagan 5/08

Oh, Tanya!! I am so sorry you are feeling that way!! You are a wonderful person and have soooo much to offer anyone!!! I hope that your dh gets more regular work soon and gets his head out of his butt and realizes what he has with you and the kids!!!

Big hugs!!!!! If you ever want to road trip, you know where to find me!

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~Happiness is a large family~

I am so sorry you are being made to feel this way.

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Its never too late to start over! Is this what you want for the rest of your life? For your DD?
Only YOU can change it....
You deserve so much better and so dose your DD..
I WASTED 27 Years!!!! Dont do what I did ,
If your not happy, get out of it!!

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http://mommysavers.com/boards/journa...wjournal&j=110

http://tinktime-tink.blogspot.com/

If you tell your secrets to the wind... Don't be mad if it tell's the trees.

It's too bad you feel this way. I can't believe the man you married makes you feel this worthless and this unhappy. Tanya, you are a wonderful person and so many of us here love and appreciate what you bring to us each day in the form of humor, whit and surprise! You have a great personality and are a wonderful mother. It's so sad you can't see yourself the way we see you and be happy and content knowing we all love you.

If I were you and in your position, and that unhappy, I would be making major steps about getting help for my marriage or for myself, or I would be making steps at getting out. I cannot imagine living another 21 years in this state of mind. It's so unhealthy ~ clearly. Just re read what you wrote to us. It's so sad. NO ONE should feel that way about their life.

To find individual and financial freedom you should maybe speak with a financial advisor. YOu are now employed so you can take small steps to gain back your independence. I hate to say that and suggest you leave him, but if things are THAT bad and there is no hope in this....why put yourself through another twenty one years....? Why do that? Your kids are going through this with you......they will take away something from this and maybe one day end up in the same boat as you. So many women have been down this road, who have had NOTHING of their own, and they have made it. I think there is hope for you too.

Hugs to you and prayers that things will get betterray:

I have an ex-husband that treated me like crap! I was so downtrodden and depressed I thought it was what was expected of me, and well, that was just my life...but I was wrong. One day, when I finally had enough, I just left. No job, no means of support, just took what I could pack in my friend's car, took Alex, and showed up on my best friend's mom's doorstep and told her I left him. I had a job in less than a month, a place to live shortly after that.

I am now remarried to the love of my life. We have 3 boys of our own, and life could not be more beautiful.

Now, by no means am I telling you to leave your husband if you don't want to, but I want you to realize that there is a great big world out there and you DO NOT have to settle! YOU have to love YOU first, and when that day happens, his sorry behind will be sorry you the old you isn't around to take his crap anymore!

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There are more than 40 different types of congenital heart defects. Little is known about the cause of most of them. There is no known prevention or cure for any of them.
My Blog:Musings of a Heart Family

Tanya, to answer your question~~yes.

I wanted to send you a big ole ((((((((((HUG))))))))))!!!!1

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Big Hugs Sweetie!!!! Don't ever wish to be anyone other than your wonderful self. It sounds like your "d"h is being a royal unapreciative ars! Was he always like this? Ask him point blank if he loves you and your daughter and no matter what his answer, tell him to start showing it. You both deserve to be loved and treated with respect.

Everyday is a new day, people can change. Tell him how you are feeling, either he will change for the better or maybe you will change your mind about wanting to be with someone who isn't giving his share to the relationship. I know that's all easier said than done, but sometimes people need to know that what they have is precious and it could be gone in an instant.

You are a wonderful person, please stop wishing you weren't you....