My DH and I have decided that we will not be traveling during the holiday season this year. For years we have busted our tails to please everyone during the holidays , but none of the family is willing to work with our needs as far as us living far away and being the only ones with small children. We have invited the extended family to our place to celebrate holidays and they refuse to budge from thier norm...SO we will no longer be a part of that. We have decided to stay close to home and have invited just our parents and siblings on different days to celebrate. Mine on Saturday and DH's on the next day.

What would you do as far as celebrating and things to serve to make it good, but easy, since they are back to back days?

How do you help family understand your point of view and have them embrace the fact that you want to do things your own way, but still love them?

I would stick to the basics for your foods. Try not to go overboard and keep things simple.

As for the family, we are in the same situation. We have not been to a relatives house for the last 2 years for Thanksgiving. We got a new house a month before Thanksgiving and decided to do it at our house and no one has come. I wish I knew how to make them understand, but I don't think you really can. Good luck!!!

Well...everyone is different and every family is different. For me, I weigh the benefit of my children being with family for special holidays, over the inconvenience of travel. Family always wins out for us. I think extended family is SO important so we really do whatever is necessary to make it work. I kinda feel that it is only a few days and we always have a great time and it's worth it in the end. I've always just thought it my head, in 10 years, am I going to be glad that I made the effort or mad that I did...and I honestly think I'm going to be glad and so are my kids. But that's me and our families...you're the only one that will be able to figure out what will work for your family.

After hosting family holidays and other events with small kids, being pregnant etc., keep it simple....

I will use paper plates etc...because who wants to spend all that time doing dishes instead of being with family.

Keep meals simple unless there is a certain dish that is tradition and needs to be on the table. ex) one year at Christmas we just cooked a big ham and guest just brought over crackers, cheese, chips & dip, veggies etc... That was a hit then, everyone could just munch at will.

I know some families that make homemade chicken noodle soup for the meal when they have back to back days of celebrating.

Also, don't be afraid to ask for help and let others bring food etc if they want. A wise friend told me he lets guest bring what they can according to their ability.

Hope this helps and Good Luck

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AMOAMOM :love:

I always fall into thinking, "Oh it will be easy, quick and simple..." then I totally procrastinate at preparing well enough in advance so I end up running around like a crazy lady trying to get everything done.

My advice: Write it down! Write down your menu. Write down what you want prepared in the house. Cook as far in advance as you can possibly muster. Figure out every last dish and serving spoon you're going to use. Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Then on the big day(s) you'll have it so together you might be able to enjoy yourself.

As for making your family understand, good luck! When you have figured out that one, please post so the rest of us will know.

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."

WOW Oregano...sometimes I think you must channel my brain!! This is exactly how I think.

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Originally Posted by Oregano
Well...everyone is different and every family is different. For me, I weigh the benefit of my children being with family for special holidays, over the inconvenience of travel. Family always wins out for us. I think extended family is SO important so we really do whatever is necessary to make it work. I kinda feel that it is only a few days and we always have a great time and it's worth it in the end. I've always just thought it my head, in 10 years, am I going to be glad that I made the effort or mad that I did...and I honestly think I'm going to be glad and so are my kids. But that's me and our families...you're the only one that will be able to figure out what will work for your family.

I agree with this for the most part. What do you do then when the different sides of the family and your son's visitation with his Dad conflict and couse a holiday train wreck? It's not that we don't want to drive, it's that we can't get everyone to work together.

i hear you. this is our first year (and the fights have begun) that we are NOT going anywhere for the holidays! we're staying put.

i understand where oregeno is coming from, but from my perspective and experience, we have the youngest kids (3 & 1) and we have been getting on a plane every december for a weekend for 5+ years and its always a fiasco - not to mention very expensive.

i have put my foot down this year because we are always doing the flying to see them - in june and december - we are the ones that can least afford it and no one on that side of the family has even bothered to get on a plane to come see us - even though everyone has been invited over and over again. so no more for me. they are more than welcome to come to us where i will roll out the red carpet, but no more flying in dec. for me.


how do you get your family to be happy about it? you dont. if its important to you do make this decision, explain it and let it be. you cant make everyone happy and you certainly will piss others off because you're "ruining it" but just know that you have to do whats best for you andyour family and just take the heat.

Like others have posted- it is very hard to get your family to be understandable of your decision to stay home. Just stick to your guns and the kids will probably greatly apprieciate it in the long run! A lot of people are keen on their traditions and hate when people throw a wrench into their traditions- but traveling that time of year is not only hard on you- but your kids as well. Many people will say- they won't come this year- but they will come next year- so don't be surprised if you stick to your plans to stay put the next few years- it may take the family a while to come to you.

I agree with planning it all out before hand- that way it will make it so much easier on you. Maybe just get 1 big ham and split it in half for each family- you can have either a ham dinner with all the sides you wish to make, or have ham sandwiches and so on. Whatever you do- try to make it easy on yourself so you are able to enjoy your time with both families! I agree with trying to go with throw away dishes, utensils and cups- the easier the cleaning for the next day! maybe you can make a bunch of cookies and freeze them for your get togethers for dessert. Also planning now will make it a lot easier than a month before hand!

people treat u they way u let them. they got used to their way always being THE way. If family was important to them they would take the effort to make it easy for everyone. we have rotating xmas so everyone can either host and stay home or travel. If someone can't make it we don't make them feel like they are ruining xmas. we usually try and work something out. we usually will make a group phone call and say Merry Xmas so they know we are thinking of them.

allgirls

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allgirls, mom to 3 girls