I think DH fell off the wagon--he has been sober for 3 yrs, he was a bad alcoholic since he was 16 yrs old, he had recieved 3 DUI's and was let go many times, the last straw was when he flipped his truck and I came upon the wreck and had to pul him from the truck as it was burning--not an easy task! he is gone off working again and will be there for a week on a week off--every time he goes and stays away from home this has hapened. I am just sick, he swore on the phone that he wasn't drinking, but I know what he sounds like and you just know sometimes. I just want to curl up in my room and stay. I have been working realy hard lately to make things ok between us. I don't know what to do now.

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I'm so sorry. I know you've been having issues with your dh lately, but you need to remember that YOU deserve the best life for YOU and your DD. I think you've said he comes around and feels bad for some of the things he says and does, but you don't deserve to be treated this way, and not supported in anything you want to do (ie dental assistant school) I hope, for you sake, that you're not reading (or hearing) him right, but if you are, I'd seriously look into getting out.

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~Jenn~

I'm sorry about this situation. My father was an alcoholic for part of my childhood, so I know it's a really hard life. I know you have quite a few other issues with your dh too, such as verbal abuse. I think perhaps you should see a counselor that can either give you some strategies to handle these situations, or give you the strength to see it's time to get out. Either way, I think this situation sounds serious and I'd want some guidance. Good luck. I hope you're wrong and he's not drinking, but "gut" instincts are usually right.

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I am so sorry that you have to deal with all this crap!

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~Happiness is a large family~

I second the counselor. Big Hugs!

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Oh, so sorry to hear that! I have so many alcholics in my family and hubby's, it's terrible. Hubby was on his way to be one too until he turned to God for help! Please take care of yourself and set some boundaries with him about your relationship and his drinking. The advice about the councelor is good, you should do that for yourself while he is away and then make him go with you when he gets back. Keeping you in my prayers.

I'm so sorry. My DH is an alcoholic/drug addict (currently sober). He started drinking in about grade 7 he said. His adoptive family (he was adopted at 5 years old) are wonderful people, but he came from a horrible abuse situation with his natural parents. When he was rescued he had 2 broken ankles, 2 broken wrists, several broken ribs, etc. and they had him tied outside in the middle of winter to a highchair crying (he was 2.5 years old). He was sexually, physically, every kind of abuse imaginable. He then went through several foster homes (some also abusive) before being adopted. I think his natural parents were probably alcoholics too, and I'm not surprised he is an alcoholic after all he went through also.

He did a few months in rehab a few years ago and felt it helped him enormously. It was an art therapy program and really brought out a lot of things he had repressed from his childhood. He did relapse after about 10 months sober and was drinking/doing cocaine again when I actually met him. I started noticing that he is a COMPLETELY different person when he drinks. I literally can tell immediately if he's been drinking (just like you). I don't like being around him when he drinks. It's not that he's mean or ugly (although we do tend to fight when he drinks - I think because I get pissed off), but he's just so strange when he drinks. He will say really weird things that are totally untrue. He told someone he was from Australia and started talking in this Australian accent once when we were out. He'll do really strange, bizarre things like that.

Just before we were married he went out after work and did a bunch of cocaine/drinking and took $800 out of our bank account (we only have 1 joint account and our others are separate). He literally spent it all on that 1 night of partying. I almost didn't marry him (believe me I was torn). I was just sick about it. From that day he hasn't touched a drink/drug. He is so much better when he's not using.

He does tell me that he HOPES he never touches the stuff again. This wording kind of pisses me off because in my mind it's a choice. Nobody is going to ever hold a gun to his head and force drink into him. He can't guarantee in his own mind he won't ever fall off the wagon (as badly as he wants to believe he won't). Maybe it gets easier over more time. I guess a non alcoholic (me) will never fully understand what it's like. I know I couldn't live with him if he were to ever "seriously" fall into that lifestyle. I expect there may be one or two times that he'll do it once and then stop again, etc (but I hope there isn't). Anything beyond a very mild slip would indicate to me that his priorities have shifted away from our family life and that I would not tolerate. He knows this, and I think it is partly his love for us and what we have that keeps him on the right path.

I do worry if he is late getting home from somewhere or if we’ve had a fight and he leaves to go blow off steam – is he drinking? I guess I will always have that fear. So far, it has been unfounded (thankfully), but I would be lying if I said that it isn’t the first thought that pops into my mind in these situations.

Good luck to you and your DH. I understand.

Hon, I am so sorry! ((BIG HUGS)) I hope for your sake that your gut instinct is wrong but if not I agree w/ finding a councelor for yourself and having them help you make some decisions about what is best for you.

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SAHM to Elias 3/00, Camdyn 7/03 and Teagan 5/08

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I have been down in the dumps for the past 3 months & my mom has been such a life saver. I call her every week just to talk to her & she keeps me going. She even bought me a book that I just started reading last night. She bought it for my birthday last month & it took me this long to pick it up & start reading it. It's called "the walk out woman" by Dr. Steve Stephens & Alice Gray. Pick it up at the book store or borrow from the library if they have it. It's for women who feel like giving up on their spouse or their marriage. It's good so far. It helps you deal with DH & issues in marriage & it's turned lots of couples' lives around. I'm hoping it does the same for me. I encourage you to read this with me & hopefully we can make some changes in our marriages. If you need to PM me, do so. I would like to read this book with someone & chat with someone about it. I will be praying for you. ray:

So sorry. It's not your fault and I hope you know you can't save him. Time to go to Ala-non. You know you have to.

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."