I am sorry for her loss and my thoughts and prayers are with her and her family. I have a friend with a similar story. She needs to find a support group in her area for parents who have lost. That is the only thing that helped my GF. She doesn't go as often anymore but does go when she needs too.

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As someone who went through the exact same thing, these ladies are right. Just say I'm so sorry and I'm here if you want to talk. And let her know that you don't feel you have the right words.

I remember people around me saying it wasn't meant to be, there must have been something wrong and all that garbage. It was so trite and so wrong. If it wasn't meant to be, why was I pregnant in the first place? So your asking shows what a good friend you are. Also, don't tell her she can try again - she already knows that, and it's this baby she wanted. She needs to take care of herself and rest her body. And she isn't being punished. There are some things there are no answers or reasons for. My subsequent successful ones are in the other room right now.

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Make someone's heart smile today.

there really isnt much to say other then sorry, be there for her, hug her, cry with her, listen to her. that is a hard thing to deal with.
i would not say it was meant to be, ia hd a good friend die when i was younger and when people would say it was meant to be and so on, it just made me more upset,

I have had four miscarriages. Two before I had my daughter and two after. People would tell me that it was "God's will." We were missionaries in South Africa at the time. The black and coloured (mixture of black and white) women would tell me this. Their lives were so hard that they could accept it this way IMO.

I also had a white female doctor (in South Africa) ask me if she miscarried because of something she did (like your friend asking about being punished). She was one of my doctors and knew I had miscarried over and over....

It is not "God's will" when anything bad happens. There never was a cause found for my repeated miscarriages. We live in a world that is imperfect. There is sickness, death, genetic abnormalities, etc.

Why one person can't have children and another can't stop having them (even when they want to); why one person has cancer three times and another who smokes and drinks does not, there are no answers. We live differently than we were intended by God to live as far as our relationship with him. Sickness, genetic problems, etc. are now a part of this world. They are not just nor are they fair. Nor are they sent as punishment or anything like that. They just are.

Love your friend and offer her emotional support. However, make sure she understands she is not being punished (for something she has done.) That is a heavy load to carry when one is hurting so much. I know the fear of wondering if you will ever have a child. After the first miscarriage, it was hard, but I knew these things happen. After the second one, a deep fear that we would never be parents took hold. I can relate to the place your friend is in right now. She needs support and understanding.

I am so sorry for your friend. when my BF lost her baby I was just there. she cried, she yelled, she blamed, I just stood there at let her. I know she needed me to be strong for her. saying a prayer for everyone. praying God's loving hand will guide you both. ray:

allgirls

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allgirls, mom to 3 girls

That is so sad! Just like everyone has posted- just be there for her and let her vent away on you! I am happy though that she does have a friend like you- sometimes having a friend during all of these horrible events makes your life a little easier!