My four year old DS (and that is not "darling" in this case) is REALLY starting to push me to the breaking point! I posted a few weeks ago about the messes he has made and tried to find humor in it. Not anymore! He is constantly into something and ruining everything from food to toys.

About an hour ago, I had Matthew take our LAST package of hamburger out of the freezer so I could make it for dinner. 10 minutes ago, Matthew screams for me. Brandon somehow, sneaked into the kitchen, went around the corner where the washer and dryer are, and smashed raw meat all over everything! Not only is dinner ruined, but money wasted that we don't have and I had a nasty mess to clean up before it started to smell! This morning, he broke all the eggs into a bowl while we were sleeping, and one day last week, he tore open a package of chocolate pudding and mixed it with water in the middle of the floor to make mud. Yesterday, he peed on Tommy's carseat!

I am beginning to think there is something wrong with him. He doesn't listen to anything DH or I say to him. We have tried to give him positive attention, talk to him, yell at him, time outs, make him clean up the messes, spank him, take things from him, you name it, we've tried it! I feel like my only option is to tie him to a chair for the day! I am trying to watch him, keep house, supervise Tommy's therapists, take care of Tommy's medical and typical baby needs, cook....I shower twice a week, usually on the days Tommy has a doctor's appointment so DH is home to keep an eye on him. Forget going to the bathroom. It's door open, do my thing and get out!

Yes, DH is helping me, but he is at work 9 hours a day, and sometimes weekends too just so we can pay the bills. I have been writing this for 5 minutes and have already had to go make sure the 4 year old was in his room and not destroying something and I had to get up to tend to Tommy.

How am I going to keep this little monster out of stuff, make him understand that he HAS to stop destroying stuff, and not lose my sanity????

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There are more than 40 different types of congenital heart defects. Little is known about the cause of most of them. There is no known prevention or cure for any of them.
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You're not alone!!! Wyatt is a destroyer too. He's pealed paint off the walls, broken mini blinds, thrown moon sand all over my dining room.......broken brand new toys......there is more but i need to get to soccer practice.

I'll try to respond more later but know that you are not alone!!!!!

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Jodie....Wife to Andrew (1995)
Mommy to Riley (2000) and Wyatt (2003)

I'm so sorry,, I wish I was close to you so I could help with him, or bring him over to my house to play to give you a break. I'm sure it's all the stress of new big brother issues, plus all the 'extras' that go along with Tommy, but I'm also sure that does NOT make it any easier to deal with (((((big hugs)))) I had a REALLY hard kid and she was the youngest and had no 'issues' to deal with other than no dad, but she'd NEVER had him, so go figure!

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Think big! Change the world! One A.R.K at a time.

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you find a solution soon.

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Maybe he's just being a normal, curious toddler? What may be a mess to us are a learning experience for kids.
I know what youre going through though, my son is 7 and still makes messes...but not as bad as when he was younger.

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Alex & the spider monkey

That's tough. I wish I had something to offer. Have you had him clean up the messes that me makes? Like with the hamburger? I suspect it is tough with his little brother requiring so much time but man that would push me over the edge as well.

I'm sorry.

I would suggest getting him evaluated. Is there a preschool or some place where he could go? Head start maybe? I am sure it is hard for him with Tommy and he is looking for the extra attention.

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~Happiness is a large family~

My DS2 was very destructive too and has started to grow out of it, starting as he approached 5 years old. He LOVES to get into anything with food and I have had to hide food that I know he will get into. My oldest has special needs and I know that DS2 sometimes acted out for attention. Now he is more likely to whine that he wants attention. I hope your little one starts to grow out of this soon. Giving my little one chores helped his self-esteem and kind of kept him busy = less time to get into stuff. Although a few weeks ago he swallowed a magnet and we had to go to ER, so we're still a work in progress.

Hang in there!

Maybe he's looking for more attention? He probably finds it hard because of all the attention you have to give Tommy. Dealing with a new baby brother would be hard enough, but dealing with one that take all of Mommy's time must be really hard and frustrating for him. He's to little to understand that it's something you have to do, not something you are choosing to do. I wonder if it would help if you could give him some special Mommy time. Do something just with him, every day if possible. I know you are already run ragged, with all you have to do, but even a half hour might help. It probably took you longer than a half hour to clean up the hamburger mess anyway ! If things don't change maybe you could see a child councelor with him. Sorry you have to deal with so much stress . I really don't know how you do it all? You should be really proud of yourself...I'd probably be in the nut house by now if it was me!

I am so sorry you are dealing w/ this on top of everything else. It's possible he may have Adhd or something but it's also very likely to be something he is doing to get attention. I am sure it's hard but is there anyway you can spend some time w/ just him during they day maybe when Tommy is napping? I hope things start to get better for you.