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09-10-2007, 04:10 PM
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#11
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Mommysavers Goddess
Last Online: Today 12:34 PM
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The great "country" of Texas
Posts: 1,726
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No, and actually I think that's alot of the problem.....he's an only child and his grandparents (their first and only grandchild for now)are most of the problem, lord knows how irritating it is....and alot of the reason why he didn't WALK until he was 15 months old....that, to me, is ridiculous. They are/were constantly picking him up (MIL literally never put him down during DH and my wedding and he was 14 months old then. In every single wedding photo she was in, she's holding him, no joke!), and they are constantly appeasing his grunts and whines. They constantly were giving him his pacifier and at well over two, I thought it was enough, since what he WAS trying to say, no one could understand because it was alllllllways plugged by a pacifier. I said "I can't understand youwith that nu-nu in your mouth" and one night when he stayed the night with us, I hid it from him while playing,a nd when it was bed time, he kept saying "nu nu, nu nu, nu nu"....I said "if you can say it, you dont' need it..." and he didn't cry, he went to sleep, and BAM, no more n u nu needed at all at his own parents house. Now, grandma still will give it to him, and if he were my child I'd be furious. The inlaws mean well, they really do, but in my opinion they are very counterproductive.
So, to answer, yes he has grandparents that do EVERYTHING for him. Doesn't help. which is why they think I'm mean when I make him cry when he doesn't get what he's grunting for. Oh well. I will NOT be blamed later in life for being the reason that child progressed so slowly. Not that it would be my fault anyway. he's not my child. Just feel for him, because he doesn't know any better.
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09-10-2007, 07:22 PM
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#12
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Senior Mommysavers Member + Approved Trader
Last Online: 11-17-2008 10:47 PM
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 326
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You have reason to be concerned. Is your nephew in a preschool program or will he be entering one soon? As a preschool teacher this is one of the very first things I would pick up on. Immediately I would refer him to our local development service (CDS) for children for an evaluation. It could be his hearing, it could be that everyone else talks for him and caters to his grunts and points (I had one kiddo like that in my class about 4 years ago), it could be something more serious. Until he's evaluated by a doctor or someone at a child development service, the cause will be unknown. I wouldn't be quiet about it. I'm not saying be mean, condescending or anything along that line, just be the concerned aunt and suggest they speak to his pediatrician about it. It's NOT normal for a 2 1/2 year old to not be speaking like that. Oh, and BTW, the child I had in my class that grunted and pointed made excellent progress once placed in preschool where there was no one there to do his talking for him. 
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09-10-2007, 07:25 PM
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#13
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Mommysavers Diva
Last Online: 11-12-2008 01:20 PM
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 682
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My son was over 2 when he started speaking more than one word at a time. He would do the pointing and making noises too, if he wanted something. My MIL used to always say things to us about there possibly being something wrong with him but I knew there wasn't. He was very smart with other things, he just didn't want to talk. Plus having an older sister who said eveything for him....why would he bother! Once he decided to start, there was no stopping him  ! All kids develop at different rates.
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09-10-2007, 07:45 PM
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#14
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Mommysavers Goddess
Last Online: Today 12:34 PM
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The great "country" of Texas
Posts: 1,726
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Originally Posted by JKatherine
You have reason to be concerned. Is your nephew in a preschool program or will he be entering one soon? As a preschool teacher this is one of the very first things I would pick up on. Immediately I would refer him to our local development service (CDS) for children for an evaluation. It could be his hearing, it could be that everyone else talks for him and caters to his grunts and points (I had one kiddo like that in my class about 4 years ago), it could be something more serious. Until he's evaluated by a doctor or someone at a child development service, the cause will be unknown. I wouldn't be quiet about it. I'm not saying be mean, condescending or anything along that line, just be the concerned aunt and suggest they speak to his pediatrician about it. It's NOT normal for a 2 1/2 year old to not be speaking like that. Oh, and BTW, the child I had in my class that grunted and pointed made excellent progress once placed in preschool where there was no one there to do his talking for him. 
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No he's not in a preschool, and I doubt he will be starting one soon. He currently goes to day care at a lady's house who has a couple other kids she watches. I dont knwo anything about the scenario there or what she does with them.
You know, even though I was the one person who gave these "kids" lessons on birthing and babies and what not (being a few years older and they having NO IDEA how the birth process goes...etc.) they think since i have no children that I am completely ignorant about children and babies and how the learning process should go (as far as stage markers and how old he should be when he begins this and that...). Literally, I've gotten the " you have no idea, you don't ahve kids..." Really??? Then why did YOU ASK ME what happens to the afterbirth? "do we have to go make an appointment to get it removed??" I'm just saying, I'm not a parent, I don't know everything, but it seems off to me, for a child of his age to be progressing so slowly. I knwo all kids are different, and I'm sure he'll get there, but I wish there was more I could say without coming off as a know it all, etc. ANy tips on how to come about suggesting this??
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09-11-2007, 07:21 PM
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#15
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Mommysavers Goddess + Approved Trader
Last Online: Today 08:36 AM
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,240
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First of all, I understand your concern. That being said, I think that you may be out of line in your assessment. My son did not walk until he was 15 months old and it was not because he was picked up to much. He had low muscle tone (something I did not even realize until specialist pointed it out and even then I didn't fully understand it.). He also did not speak until late. I did get him tested at 2 1/2 and he did get speech therapy and occupational therapy as a result. He would not have been able to say "toothbrush" and probably would not have attempted it either. While you felt you were being helpful, you may not fully understand the childs needs and may be to harsh on him. I think it is best if you leave the parenting up to the parents in this case. If you see genuine cause for concern, you can offer some advice, but keep it light and respect their decisions.
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09-11-2007, 07:39 PM
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#16
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Mommysavers Goddess
Last Online: Today 10:52 AM
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,976
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Originally Posted by hawkshoe
First of all, I understand your concern. That being said, I think that you may be out of line in your assessment. My son did not walk until he was 15 months old and it was not because he was picked up to much. He had low muscle tone (something I did not even realize until specialist pointed it out and even then I didn't fully understand it.). He also did not speak until late. I did get him tested at 2 1/2 and he did get speech therapy and occupational therapy as a result. He would not have been able to say "toothbrush" and probably would not have attempted it either. While you felt you were being helpful, you may not fully understand the childs needs and may be to harsh on him. I think it is best if you leave the parenting up to the parents in this case. If you see genuine cause for concern, you can offer some advice, but keep it light and respect their decisions.
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Like she said she didn't realize until a specialist pointed it out. It sounds like that is what this child needs to see a specialist. That is the person who would be able to know his needs. If I was in your position I would nicely ask when his next DR. appt is and ask what he thinks they should do if anything. You would have thought at the 2 yr. well visit the Dr. would have commented on it!
__________________
"Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body." ~Anonymous
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09-12-2007, 10:37 AM
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#17
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Mommysavers Goddess
Last Online: Today 12:34 PM
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The great "country" of Texas
Posts: 1,726
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by hawkshoe
First of all, I understand your concern. That being said, I think that you may be out of line in your assessment. My son did not walk until he was 15 months old and it was not because he was picked up to much. He had low muscle tone (something I did not even realize until specialist pointed it out and even then I didn't fully understand it.). He also did not speak until late. I did get him tested at 2 1/2 and he did get speech therapy and occupational therapy as a result. He would not have been able to say "toothbrush" and probably would not have attempted it either. While you felt you were being helpful, you may not fully understand the childs needs and may be to harsh on him. I think it is best if you leave the parenting up to the parents in this case. If you see genuine cause for concern, you can offer some advice, but keep it light and respect their decisions.
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Thank you for your honesty. You are right, I probably am being harsh, but I literally have never known of or seen a child that walked that late, and maybe it was his muscle tone. Who knows. I think I'm just worried because his parents act like none of this is concerning at all. I just think I'd be concerned. But you are also making my point, that I think he needs therapy too, you know, just like you said you gave your son. The parents in this case, act like they don't even care, and that there's no problem whatsoever. Hell, maybe theres' not.....I guess I won't worry about it anymore, since I'm not the parent. I thought I was being a caring and concerned aunt, but maybe I should mind my own business, and "learn my place", and let the parents worry about it. Hope I didn't offend you in my assessment, I know all children are different.
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09-12-2007, 11:47 AM
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#18
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Mommysavers Diva
Last Online: 06-23-2008 12:09 AM
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 596
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Originally Posted by chopey
I wish people wouldn't get irritated with us for doing this, trying to help him learn, and then turn it around like we are expecting too much. I don't see it as being too much for a child that is 2 and a half to know how to say his name, and know how to say things like milk, juice, etc....you know? Am I being over-critical, or do you think he should at least be saying SOMETHING other than "ahhhhh ahljsdfkjaunlgjakdjseijlsj!!!"
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I think that maybe they are getting defensive cause it's something they too are concerned about. I know my 16 month old will only say "mama, dada, yeah, and go" and I hear about it a lot and it's frusterating to me cause he's just going at his own speed. Before that it was "oh is he walking yet (every day)" until he started walking. For me with all the talk about Autism and other disorders the lack of talking is always on the back of my mind. Are you sure they aren't working on it when you aren't around? Honestly at 2 and a half he SHOULD say more than "ahh" and grunting, or is it just that he talking in only one word sentances? My suggestion to you(if you really have to) is you (as nicely as possible) take his parents aside and chat with them about it, whatever happens from there is their choice because it's their child and their responsibility. When it comes to pointing out things in other peoples children that you see as not up to par I definately wouldn't expect a nice response. Parents just get that way with their kids.
__________________
Mommy To Brody(3 years) Mason(20 months) Orin (3 Months)
"It's easy to pass judgement, it's more difficult and more meaningful to love someone" Big Love

"Cholesterol won't stick if you have the right attitude"
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09-12-2007, 11:52 AM
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#19
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Mommysavers Diva
Last Online: 06-23-2008 12:09 AM
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 596
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Originally Posted by chopey
You are right, I probably am being harsh, but I literally have never known of or seen a child that walked that late, .
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My son walked at 15 months (my first son walked at 14 months), he had fine muscle tone, didn't get picked up more than you would normally pick up a child that can't walk. He just would rather crawl, it was faster and he didn't have the balance he needed to walk. It's not even something a doctor would really be concerned about unless they aren't walking by 18 months, and even then sometimes it's just a lack of confidence in the child.
__________________
Mommy To Brody(3 years) Mason(20 months) Orin (3 Months)
"It's easy to pass judgement, it's more difficult and more meaningful to love someone" Big Love

"Cholesterol won't stick if you have the right attitude"
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09-12-2007, 12:04 PM
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#20
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Mommysavers Goddess
Last Online: Today 12:34 PM
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The great "country" of Texas
Posts: 1,726
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Sarah_Mom2BrodyNMason
I think that maybe they are getting defensive cause it's something they too are concerned about. I know my 16 month old will only say "mama, dada, yeah, and go" and I hear about it a lot and it's frusterating to me cause he's just going at his own speed. Before that it was "oh is he walking yet (every day)" until he started walking. For me with all the talk about Autism and other disorders the lack of talking is always on the back of my mind. Are you sure they aren't working on it when you aren't around? Honestly at 2 and a half he SHOULD say more than "ahh" and grunting, or is it just that he talking in only one word sentances? My suggestion to you(if you really have to) is you (as nicely as possible) take his parents aside and chat with them about it, whatever happens from there is their choice because it's their child and their responsibility. When it comes to pointing out things in other peoples children that you see as not up to par I definately wouldn't expect a nice response. Parents just get that way with their kids.
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I guess it's autism always in the back of my mind too. I really don't think he is, just because he totally understands you when you ask him or tell him to do this or that. I just worry, because it goes being undiagnosed so often, and I just want him to have every advantage possible in life. But all of you are right, I probably will just let it go, and not mention it, and maybe I've been too demanding. Maybe I'm overcritical, when I should jsut accept that he's moving at his own pace. I just really hope that it IS his pace, and nothing's holding him back. Re-reading my previous posts, it's obvious I wrote those out of "anger" and probably should have used better judgment in how I worded things. If I offended anyone, i am truly sorry, i DO know that everyone learns and grows differently, so I won't mention this anymore. But if he's three years old and still hasn't improved, i guess I'll mention it. Until then, I'll let it go. Thank you all for your responses, no matter what you felt, i do appreciate all the sides I've heard! I just don't want to "butt" in and be the know it all....so I'll quiet for now.
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