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Old 08-25-2006, 06:39 AM   #1
Default Do you cuddle with your kids? Do your kids like to cuddle?
Doozer
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I grew up in a household where affection and saying "I love you" were taboo!!
I then meet and later marry into a family where the mom, dad, sisters, brothers all tell each other they love them, hug each other, and have that underlying understanding everyone was loved and felt loved.

So I decided my kids are going to grow up in a household like that. I go OUT of my way to be affectionate. To the point, I'm sure, my three year old is like "ok mom, you can can it". However, I have noticed a difference between my two boys and my friends' daughters. Girls seem to want the attention, through my observation. They will cuddle with their parents, or sit on their laps for minutes on end...where my boys are constantly go go go.

I remember after Zach's naps, each day, before he turned three, I would go in and get him and we woudl snuggle on the couch. IT was a nice way for him to wake up and a nice quiet time I could spend with him. Now with the two of them, I try and do the same, but my seventeen month old is good for about five minutes and he's off.

Neither of my boys have been cuddlers to a large degree. I don't know if it's just the boy in them or their personality.
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Old 08-25-2006, 06:57 AM   #2
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I think some of it's cultural; some of it's environmental; some of it is individual personality.

My parents weren't afraid to hug us, ruffle our hair, kiss, or "rassle" on the living room rug. Yet I got to college and found myself in a group where everyone was all huggy all the time, and felt a tad alien. I got over it.

We're pretty affectionate with HSH. We were very "hands-on" right from the start -- holding her, infant massage, lots of smoochy kissy stuff. As she got older, we did a lot of baby-mommy exercise. A nightly playtime always included a round of "tackle mommy," where I became a human jungle gym. Now she'll sit on my feet and I use her as weight resistance to do leg extensions while I'm knitting at night. She climbs up me like a rockwall. Pushes my WIP out of the way and declares, "I sit in mommy's wap." Climbs on my back. And there's always lots of huggies. She likes the contact.

I've noticed that my nieces liked the contact; my nephews could care less. Dunno. Innate programming?
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Old 08-25-2006, 07:00 AM   #3
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I've missed you Kemtee
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Old 08-25-2006, 07:05 AM   #4
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I miss you too, sweetie.
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Old 08-25-2006, 07:11 AM   #5
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Kemtee, love the images that describe!!!!

Well, my boys love to cuddle and snuggle, be gently caressed and kissed, but when they are busy with their play, they are pretty focussed. I can still go over and give them hugs and kisses, and both boys will sometimes stop what they're doing to come and kiss/hug me, but I get most of the loving in the morning or later evening before bed.

Wyndser is a cling-on (Heaven help me) and wants loving a lot. Parker is also highly affectionate. Carson isn't quite as needy in that department as the other two. I think it is mostly personality rather than gender in my house.
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Parker, Wyndser, and Carson....................Wyndser (in blue) with her cousin
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Old 08-25-2006, 07:16 AM   #6
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well i cuddle my kids but my oldest does not like to much but that is his personality where my youngest loves it(he wants to be kissed for every bump oldest likes to deal with it on his own). we say we love you and hug and kiss our kids. i want them to know they are loved. i don't want them saying in there 20's my mom and dad never told me they loved me. my dad was not an affectionate person but my mom was.
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Old 08-25-2006, 07:18 AM   #7
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We are very affectionate and hug and kiss and cuddle all the time. DH and I grew up in affevtionate families and are affectionate with each other as well as our kids. I'm dreading the day my boys don't want to cuddle anymore
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Old 08-25-2006, 07:19 AM   #8
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I also grew up in a non affectionate household. The only time I remember my step-mom telling me she loved me is before she wore my tail out "I am only doing this because I love you", and I never remember my dad telling me. I am very affectionate with my little ones. You can only be so affectionate with a 14yr old, she is like get off of me! Now with my Caitlin almost four, she is more of the go, go, go type. She will cuddle with me in the morning some while she has her strawberry milk, and stop and give me kisses sometimes during the day. But with my Caleb(5 1/2) he is a big time cuddler, he is always hugging and lovin on mama, and still plays with my hair. He looks so big curled up in my lap! I am enjoying it though because I know this will not last much longer. My dh thinks Caleb needs to spend more time with him and a little less time with me. So I think it just depends on the child and their personality, like Kemtee said.
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Old 08-25-2006, 07:19 AM   #9
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It's def. a personality thing. I have two boys and my little one is a cuddler where he'll just come to you and offer you a hug or want to sit or lay in your lap, and the older one will also cuddle, but I have to ask him for it, but DH doesn't have to ask and he'll be all up on him. He's a daddy's boy all the way. He's all buy 4 and already trying to be a macho man.

And Kel, great to read your post. How about a BIG group ((HUG)) for kelly.
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Old 08-25-2006, 07:28 AM   #10
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I love to cuddle w/ my boys. They are as different as night and day. My oldest never wanted to be cuddled when he was little. I held him all the time anyway. He never really wanted to be kissed, it did anyway. He's 7 years old today. What a difference in my little guy. Now he loves to be hugged. He still is funny about kisses. We can only kiss him on the top of his head. But he's come a long way.

My little guy is a snuggler. He loves to be hugged and kissed. He comes running to us all the time and I do mean All The Time to tell us that he has run out of love. They only way to fill him up is to hug and kiss him and it can take a long time to fill him all the way to the top.
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