My husband and I both come from large families. There are 13 sibblings total and add to that parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, nieces, nephews, and friends and there would be A LOT of people to get gifts for. My family for years has done a "sibling name swap" and we get one big gift for that sibbling and their spouse(if they have one). my DH and I for years have been getting that big gift for one sibbling and doing something small for the rest of them- like giving them our homemade candles or soaps or homemade soup jar kits- where all they have to do is add water and cook. And we've decided two years ago that we wouldn't "exchange gifts" with aunts and uncles or cousins- all of them were fine with that, because it saves them from the extra $$ spending as well. We also give gifts to nieces and nephews on my side.

We have requested to DH's family this year (and in years past) that we do the same thing with siblings, because we always end up doing their "tradition" of giving everyone a nice gift and it gets to be SO EXPENSIVE!!!!! DH's parents REFUSE to do this- because MIL is under the assumption that "if everyone doesn't get a gift from everyone, people will be mad." Dh and I think that is NUTS, but that is her belief. She even went as far as giving us a list last year (DH's aunt is getting you a gift worth around $30, Your Sis is getting you a gift worth around $60 and so on) MIL is SO annoying when it comes to gifts. She believes that EVERYONE needs to exchange equally, and if she buys something worth $50 but it was on MAJOR clearance and she bought it for like $10, she expects to get something for $50 or more in return. If she doesn't, she buys you less of a gift the next year! It is so PATHETIC. DH and I are going to PISS her off this year and have all of his siblings come here for Christmas "gift exchange" and they've all decided that we're going to do the name exchange thing- it's going to tick MIL off, but we don't care. She won't be here...She's not allowed in our home after the CRAP she's pulled!

ANYWAYS...How many of you get an actual gift for EVERYONE? All siblings and their families, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, friends and who ever else...

If you do give to everyone, do you give a smaller gift to everyone, or do you just go all out because, hey...it's Christmas!

Do you have ANYONE in your family like my MIL? They think everyone should give and get equally? DON'T get me wrong- it's nice to do that, but how far is TOO FAR?

Does anyone DISLIKE Christmas because of all the "gift giving stress" and the fact that you have to spend money that you'd rather not spend on people you see once or twice a year?

__________________
One happy wife and mommy!!!

Well it sounds like you guys worked out something amongst yourselves that will be great for everyone. I wouldn't worry about your MIL, it doesn't sound like she's very close to you and DH. I would probably still get her a gift but I wouldn't try to figure out what she spent on me or what I spent on her etc - why do that? It can only be upsetting. It shouldn't really matter what the gift cost...but somehow, it becomes important.

We do do a gift exchange with Dh's siblings/spouses....it's complicated though - we do buy for more than that. There are stepsiblings involved, so if Dh and I don't get Dh's "blood" brothers/spouses for the gift exchange, we still buy for them. I know confusing. The little cousins pick each other's names. But again, if my kids don't pick Dh's brother's kids names for the gift exchange, we get them a gift in addition to our gift exchange name. I don't know how that happened but that's just the way we do it.

We do have a set price limit ($150 for adults and $50 for kids). The problem I have with our exchange is that in some cases, you end up buying gift cards for everyone. If all we're going to do is buy gift cards for each other...why have the gift exchange? We'll just all go out and spend $150 on the gift card of our choice and give it to ourselves! It's just sticky and then one of Dh's stepsisters gets really offended if anyone even hints of getting rid of the exchange...that this is the only time she can buy for her brothers. It's kinda a funny comment in that there is no guarantee that she would even get one of her brother's names in the gift exchange! It's not a financial burden for us, but it is for some of the family members and to me...that's the big thing. If it's not working for even one person, we should think of something else to do! It just isn't what Christmas is about IMO.

We don't buy for extended family members...Aunts/Uncles etc We do buy for some of our close friends though...

we name draw for our family. not as couples tho we each draw a name so dh and I had to buy 2 gifts for my siblings and 2 for his. we have a spending limit for each and we also supply a list of 5 things. We all get along and talk so I can work with the person whom has my dh and we both can buy off the list. It doesn't have to be something off the list just is nice for suggestions. Then we buy for my SIL it is my my Dh sister from his fathers 2nd marrage. As for the neices and nephews we buy but there is a 20-25 limit and I am sure when they get older they are all under 6 they will be drawing names also. We siblings will prob stop then too.

__________________

Yeah, gift giving is not what Christmas is all about for us either- for MIL though, that it ALL it's about, which is VERY SAD!!! I think giving gifts causes EVERYONE a TON of stress over the holidays- it's just not worth it! Christmas for us is about spending time with our close family members, going to church on Christmas eve and being thankful for what we have= not about the gifts we get...It's sad when people (my MIL for one) center the entire holiday around getting gifts!

I do like to hear what other people's families do for gifts, especially here....because I know that most people here are all thoughtfull about saving money and not waisting it.

__________________
One happy wife and mommy!!!

I have suggested for years to my in laws that we draw names, but it has been shot down, except for one year, and that was horrible.

My family is so large (seven aunts and uncles, plus their kids (each one has at least 2 kids each, plus their kids, you get the picture) that only the small children, do gift exchanges. If I want my child to get a gift, I bring a gift and exchange it for one in the pile (my aunt is great about always having gifts for the little kids). Now, the adults,we play a version of "Dirty Santa" we bring an ornament that isn't supposed to cost more than I think 10.00, wrap it up or put in a gift bag. Each person draws a number, first person turns in their number, picks a ornament, opens it, shows it to everyone, next person can either choose to 'steal' that ornament or pick from the pile. If the ornament is stolen, then the 'victim' can either choose to pick from the pile or steal someone else's ornament. Once an ornament has been stolen 2 times, it is safe! My kids would rather bring an ornament, and 'steal' one from one of their cousins or uncles, sometimes it gets down right 'dirty'!
Reminds me I have to start looking for ornaments now.

That's a good idea and it sounds fun too. It allows for more "family interaction" than just opening gifts!

__________________
One happy wife and mommy!!!

We give gifts to our own 3 children and our only neice. We stopped exchanging with extended family a few years ago by pulling our names from the drawing. My Brother and his wife and DH and I do not exchange for each other. My SIL does not get a gift from us anymore and is ticked off about it. She has never giving us gifts,b ut does to our kids. She is an adult, so she doesn't get one from us. My ILS are getting blankets I made them this year and so is my Mom. Next year we have decided to nix all gifts to everyone but our children and neice and only give pictures of our children to Grandparents. This year we have decided no Christmas cards/pictures of our family via the mail either. We also have decided we do not travel for holidays either....not Christmas OR Thanksgivng. We stay home and invite people to visit us, but only my Mom and every other year my brother and his family ever does. We make a trip to where DH's family lives in October and that is all they get. After years of it being one sided, we are tired of it. All of it just made be dread the season!

__________________
Illini Bob's wife....mom to 3 little chiefs

I know there's something important being discussed here, but all I can focus on is half-nekkid Paul Walker.

__________________


Cheers!
-- Suzie, mommy to Katarina (02.22.2005) and Sebastian (10.18.2007)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fluttergirl

I have a brother and sister and they are married and have 2 kids each...we get them all a gift because they cant afford much....now my hubby is one of 9 living kids and 17 grand kids....we buy for all the kids that are under 18...which leaves most to buy for..lol.....and we draw names and buy a $20 gift....and we all get parents a gift each...they make out like bandits...lol...well deserved though after raising 9 kids...lol....I buy my mom a few gifts to make up for my brother and sister not being able to get her much.

__________________
CHOOSE TODAY WHOM YOU WILL SERVE!!!

We only buy for my mom,2 siblings,2 nephews,dh parents,and our 5 kids. My 2 sil's live out of state,and we all decided a few years ago not to exchange anymore.