Thanks for all your responses...funny but it does help to know I am not the only one
I wish it was just the whole babysitting aspect of it but it is so much deeper. We are in the process of looking for a babysitter probably will be a neighborhood teen but heck for two to three hours every other week it will well be worth it. We actually had our oldest who is 13 watch the kids for about 3 hours the other day...we were only around the block doing some work on a home (second job). He did well I called every hour, the house was a mess but other then that every one was alive LOL.

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~~Christina~~
SAHM with a DH, DS(13), DD(5), DS(4), and DD(2)!
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." ~C.S. Lewis~

My son watches my daughter on a very limited basis. A quick run to the store, maybe. It helps! LOL! You sound like me calling every hour!
You know I see Moms and daughters that have such a close relationship. They are friends, no judgements, no insults and no "you will never be good enough." I hope they know how truly blessed they are! I also see grandparents that truly enjoy spending time with the grandkids and it hurts to no end that mine we never experience that! Or hasn't experienced it yet shall I say. No spending the night having fun making special times and memories. Makes one wonder why they are like that. Is it us or them? Oh well, as I said, prayer seems to be the only answer! We should start a club! LOL!!

I see others that have great relationships as well...my dear friend for example..she never had the best relationship with her mother until after her father passed a little over 4 yrs ago. I think she got a fresh look at how strong of a woman her my is. I had always told her that but she wasn't able to see it.
Funny but at my dd1 baby shower she was harping on her mom and I pulled her aside and told her to let up that she was having fun and my friend say to me that her my mom was embarrassing her, what?? I said you are the one embarrassing yourself by trying to babysit your mom...leave her alone I said she is having fun and you need to as well....so I gave her a big glass of punch that was for the non-pregos LOL.
But back to the point I was trying to make...LOL my dear friend is trying to conceive and it's been 3 years so now they are taking more roads to get their desire...but the real shame of it all is that her mother would be the greatest grandmother!! At times I wish her mother was mine for my kids. Terrible huh?

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~~Christina~~
SAHM with a DH, DS(13), DD(5), DS(4), and DD(2)!
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." ~C.S. Lewis~

My mom (who passed away years ago) was schizophrenic. Not only was she NOT a grandmother, but she wasn't much of a mother, either. And she was absolutely dilusional - certified - with the medical diagnosis to prove it. Maybe in your case, it would be easier if your mother was diagnosed with a mental disorder. It would be easier to accept that that is the way she is and that she isn't going to change.

My advice, as above, is to love your mom the way she is. She raised a pretty awesome woman so there must be something good in her somewhere. Yes, she's unreliable and an untraditional grandma. But those same qualities have good aspects, too. She does have a life outside of her grandchildren, which is a healthy attitude to have. When the kids ask, simply say, "Grandma is who she is. We love her as apart of our family." It is a good lesson for your kids get older and they start wondering about their relationship with YOU - ha, ha.

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."

No I don't think it would be easier by any means. I am very sorry that you had to grow up with a mom who was diagnosed as a schizophrenic. I knew a girl who was a lil out there, we just assumed it was the way she chose to be "different" then she was diagnosed as schizophrenic at the age of 20. And she doesn't understand and nobody has been able to do anything for her. Last I knew she was on and off her meds and her parents are in their 80's. She is now 30 and a few people keep there eye on her but she disappears goes on her trips. She comes back from where ever she went with things from where ever..let's say Japan she comes back with things from Japan authenic things???


that is exactly what she is and I am doing my very best to come to terms with that!

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~~Christina~~
SAHM with a DH, DS(13), DD(5), DS(4), and DD(2)!
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." ~C.S. Lewis~