Are you a "tattle tale"??

aliadam · **Are you a "tattle tale"??**

When you have a disagreement with someone, do you try to work it out with that person? Or do you go behind the person's back and talk about them or complain about them? If you work, and you have a problem with another employee, do you go to them first, or do you head straight to the "boss"? If you have a problem with a sibling, do you try to work it out with them, or you head straight to your parents to complain? If you have a problem with someone here on MS, how do you handle that?

I'm a person that would rather people deal with me directly, and just wondered what kind of person you were.

desertmom · 12-08-2007, 06:46 PM

That's a great question. I'm the type of person who will try to find out the root of the problem, and if I need to, I will go directly to the person. So many misunderstandings would be cleared up if that were to happen, rather than grousing and whining to someone else. It also puts the person you're complaining to in a difficult position, feeling like they have to choose sides.

It takes guts, yes, to approach someone and ask questions, but I think whiners make themselves look weak by just whining and being catty. I think just trying to find out the other person's viewpoint is helpful, but a lot of times, it should be agree to disagree.

LuvMySoldier · 12-08-2007, 07:53 PM

I'm a Libra - which is much to my detriment sometimes.

Depending on the situation, if I had an issue with someone - whether it be family, friends, co-workers, or members of this board - I would go directly to them with my concerns, and have. Sometimes that's productive, sometimes it's not. And if the situation is important to me and has a direct impact on my well-being, or if my efforts to resolve the situation get nowhere, sometimes I will go to someone who can resolve the problem. But I've learned that not every situation NEEDS to be resolved. Most things either simply work themselves out, can just be let go and chalked up to experience, or simply don't matter. Again, depends on the circumstance.

But no. I wouldn't consider myself a "tattle tale". It's not in my nature. I'm more "overly-curious" as to the reasons why someone would have issues with me, or why people do what they do, so I try to get to the bottom of situations myself. I should have been a psychologist!

desertmom · 12-08-2007, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuvMySoldier

. But I've learned that not every situation NEEDS to be resolved. Most things either simply work themselves out, can just be let go and chalked up to experience, or simply don't matter.

This is a wise comment.

allgirls · 12-08-2007, 09:11 PM

Depends on the sitaution. usually I feel no need to "work it out". I can agree to disagree. I do believe what luvmysolider said so well, it doesn't always need to be resolved.
I can be too confrontational so if need be I just ask the person staright out. I have found most people would to be nonconfrontational and when I ask them if something is wrong they go overboard and that bugs me even more.

Bucsnpats · 12-09-2007, 08:27 AM

Good question.

I would love to go to the person I have a problem with...but I also like to think that I don't have a problem with anyone.

My perception is that people have a problem with me. And I wish they would come to me.

It is so hard when we are all sitting here and talking "black and white" without any "tone of voice".

Like someone said in another thread. Once you meet someone face to face it is a lot easier to know the kind of person they are, and not judge them by the way they happened to type something one day.

Doozer · 12-09-2007, 08:34 AM

Ha ha! Great question!!!

Let's see. I can be both. Sort of. When emotions are high and I need to be talked down from YELLING at someone or from confronting them in the heat of the moment, I confide in someone else about it. Is that what you mean by tattle taling? Me personally, I know I can think too much about things and usually make it about something it is not, so I confide in a friend and they can either agree or disagree with me and offer another perspective. The good thing is, I am open to their suggestions, so I am not stubborn about it.

However, if I feel there has been a misunderstanding about something, I go to the person directly and ask to work things out. I can be humble if I feel I have done something wrong or hurt someone's feelings. However, a lot of the times, people aren't willing to admit fault so I typically take on the bulk of the issue and apologize for things I don't feel I should apologize for just so I can make peace. But I can walk away from it the bigger person.

Happymom · 12-09-2007, 08:57 AM

Both, Neither, Don't know!! It really depends on the situation.

Bucsnpats · 12-09-2007, 09:00 AM

Funny how even if you do talk to a "friend". Do they really help you?? It seems to me that people just agree with whoever it is they are talking to.

Country~mouse · 12-09-2007, 09:05 AM

Depending on what time of the month it is, i generally just plot their murder. ** ONLY kidding!! LOL