We just got a phone call and found out a friend and manager that used to work with DH was in a car accident yesterday. One of his triplets, a boy, was killed and one of the girls is still in fair condition. He and his wife are fine as well as the other girl.

I know this is not the best time to ask for your input, but DH and I would really like to know what the proper thing to do in this situation is.

What should we be available to do for the family now and in the coming weeks and months?

We feel so helpless and desperately want to do what we can to ease the stress a bit for this family during this horrible, horrible, tragedy.

Any input is welcome.

Here is the article...

I am in tears, It is just so sad.

Charlotte Observer | 12/25/2007 | Wreck kills 6-year-old boy; driver charged

Mostly be there for them. I remember very clearly those friends who were there to cry with me! It was wonderful to receive meals. One church in town send up a meal a week for about 2 months afterwards. That was very much appreciated and one less thing for us to worry about. Maybe suggest that they look into The Compasionate Friends. It is a wonderful support group for parents who have lost children. It helped us emensly. Dh and I were even facilitators for a group for several years. We have since moved and are no longer active in the group, but I know they have a web site. Offer to watch the surrviving children so the parents can deal with all the necessary things or attend meeting (support groups). Most importantly, talk about the child who died. The worst thing you could do is pretend he never existed.

I am so very sorry that they and you have to deal with this situation. It is an experience that I wish no other parent would ever have to go through.

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~Happiness is a large family~

I agree with everything Happymom said. Being there for them is really important. It is good to talk. Some people are scared to bring up a story if it involves the person who passed, but it's nice to hear those things. So don't be afraid to talk about them. Offer your help with food, childcare or anything else you can think of, since they are probably dealing with funeral arrangements and the other child in the hospital.

Even a month from now It's nice to call or send a note just to see if they need anything or let them know you are still thinking about them.

This is Just Horrible! I am so sorry for this Family!

While I have never experienced anything in my family like this.

I have many Friends and aquantinces where a Child died Or a Mother or father died or were ill.

I agree with happy mom - Ecspecially since their are other children the parents have to Take care of -
Set up some kind of Meal plan for them , Or Ask around to see if there is one started.
It may seem trivial - But I know So many People who had housekeepers babysitters and cooks - people all giving their time, for much needed stuff for a Family in great Need.

Thanks for the ideas.

I am just sick about this and I tend to deal with things better when I have something to plan or do. I will definitely take all advice and try to just be there for them.

I am sorry to have brought up such a sad subject during the holidays, but I really was at a loss on what was appropriate. The last thing I want to do is say or do something that will make things worse for them.

Please feel free to contribute more thoughts on this as I know they will need support for a long time to come.

This is soooooooooo sad. I will keep this family in my prayers.

One thing that i've heard is to plant a tree in memory of the child. It can be a place of comfort for family and friends.

The meals are a wonderful idea too.

Makes me a little worried that my seven year old sits in the far back seats of our minivan.

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Jodie....Wife to Andrew (1995)
Mommy to Riley (2000) and Wyatt (2003)

Definitely do the food for them. They are not going to be able to function like a normal family for a while. This is so tragic. The family is probably going to need therapy. There are going to be tremendous feelings of guilt by everyone.

I do have a question. Why was the truck driver charged? All the article says is that he was charged with involuntary manslaughter. Was he speeding?

We don't know all the details. From what I understand they were stopped to turn and the man didn't even apply the brakes...he just slammed into them. I really don't know if there was alcohol involved or if he just wasn't paying attention.

I don't know what resturants are in your area or even close to the hospital, but while our friends had an infant in nicu for 3 months, we sent gc for pizza hut, mcdonalds, KFC. Something they could grab and go. We also sent gas cards to help ease the burden..

I would also suggest you write a list of times or days you are available to help. When a friend's dad had cancer and past away, we told her to call if she needed anything. She didn't know our schedule or felt she was bothering us to help with childcare. She finally said If I knew when your available I would.. So I wrote down, M-W-F 7am-11am 3-? or T-TH 3pm-? She started calling.. After she had the schedule she would call and ask..

The whole family is going to need time, love and friendship.. I know you will give them more than they need.

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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!