ok -a little background - my brother and SIL have been divorced for probably 8 years now - she has remarrried (she finally got that lawyer she always wanted so she has plenty of money now) and has a new baby w/ him - he seems like a really good guy. Now my brother - I love him to death, but he signed over his rights and let the new guy adopt his kids. Yes I know this is horrible and I will never forgive him. About a year ago, my ex sil called my parents and told them never to call her or the kids again - not for a death in the family - don't expect to be invited to their graduations, weddings..........yada yada

Now that my dad is in very bad health I really want to talk toher and and try to convince her to let the kids see us - especially my dad - their grandfather. I know they remember us - and we miss them soo bad. I've written a letter but haven't mailed it - I tried to call her twice today but there was no answer which is good cause I don't even know what to say.

Any advice girls? This is tricky - she can be a bitch, no doubt, but she has the upper hand - those kids.

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Me, Mom and Caden

you parents still have some rights as grandparents ... they may want to look into it. I know that you said your father is sick but the kids should still be able to see him. Also grandparent rights are diffrent in all stats you may want to comtact a law and just ask a few questions.

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How sad. I hate when people use kids like this.
Maybe she has caller ID that is why she never answered the phone??
Another ? just because your brother signed over the kids- does he still talk with them/her?

Did you have a good relationship with her when they were married? If so, I would try to call her and talk to her calmly first.

I dont know what to say. This is really sad. If it were me I would call her until I could get ahold of her and just tell her look, I only want a minute of your time and then tell her that your dad is really sick and that it would mean so much if he could see the grandkids one last time and could she find it in her heart to allow this. You really have nothing to loose. The worst thing that she can say is no but maybe she will say yes. Ask her and hopefully she will tell you what you want to hear!

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SAHM to Elias 3/00, Camdyn 7/03 and Teagan 5/08

We really had a good relationship when they were married - they got married when I was 12 (1982) so she has been around forever (except the past few years). *She was like a big sister. * I used to go spend the summers with them (brother was in Marines so they traveled a lot). *My brother never sees or talks to his kids - which I will never understand. *But I think about them everyday. *I dreamed about it last night - I dreamed it was her wedding and she came up to me and told me to leave that I wasn't welcome and she didn't want the kids to see me. *I woke up crying (there my new last good cry). *The last time I talked to her she cussed me out. *I had got the kids for the afternoon and they asked to see their Dad, so I took them - I didn't think it would be a problem, but was I ever wrong. *She cussed me out really good and I just held the phone and let her-which was stupid. *THe kids are in middle school now and I miss them so much.

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Me, Mom and Caden

Tough one that. Before you call her why dont you check out what Grandparents legal rights are legally in your State.

Then you can speak nicely to her and explain your concerns with the knowledge of your parents rights at your fingertips if you need to quote them to her.

We havent very solid grandparents rights legislated for, but much as Id like huge distances between my ex inlaws, they are Tadhg & Conors other family, so they see them when they see their father. Definately for illness Id let them go they are going to find it hard to forgive her when she is older

Anne

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"When we know better we do better" Maya Angelou

That's a very tough call.... I can see both points of view. *I'd first check what Grandparent rights are, then if it really menas that much to you (and it does) I'd call her and try, the worst that will happen is another b*tching out...so prepare yourself for that worst case scenario, as it is a reality of what she *could* do. * *I know I sound like the downer, but I'm just thinking of *it in the worst case, and I hope it is not at all like that, but your brother did sign over all his rights and in her mind that might mean his family did as well...

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Is she the b*tch type or is she trying to protect her kids? Depending on how long its been since your family has seen the kids she may feel like her kids have started over and doesnt want them confused. Obviously I dont have all the facts but just looking at it from a different point of view

It wouldn't hurt to call her and ask or if you feel uncomfortable doing that, send the letter you wrote. Honestly, I don't think there are grandparents rights here as your brother signed over his rights thereby nullifying any relationship with his children for himself and anyone else in his/your family. But it doesn't hurt to check into the law in your state on that either. Good luck.