Any daycare providers out there?

Midwest Mom · **Any daycare providers out there?**

I started a small daycare in August to be home with my dd. Everything is going well, except for a 16 month old I watch. She cries all of the time. She wants to be held all of the time. She is driving me to my witts end. I just don't know what to do with her. I would feel bad telling her mom I don't want to watch her anymore. Plus, I am 20 weeks pregnant which doesn't help matters. Do you think she will outgrow this anytime soon? Any suggestions?

mamber79 · 01-31-2008, 04:15 PM

I am a daycare provider. The only thing I can tell you about the 16 month old is to NOT hold her all the time. Have a play pen or something you can put her in when she is having a fit, so she is safe, and let her cry it out. If she is fed, dry, not sick, and not hot or cold, then I say it is ok for you to let her be byherself to figure out how to calm her self. THat is the hardest thing a parent can do is not hold their child when they are home, but it doesnt help us. Good luck!

lovingthem · 01-31-2008, 05:51 PM

my dd's have been going to a small homecare provider since each of them was born (about 8 years now) and one thing i noticed is that there is always one or two very clingy and whiny babies around the place lol. but what she does is hold them for a while and then like mamber said...she lets them cry it out when they get out of hand. eventually they will calm down. she says she would cater to them a bit more but she has 6 other small children that need her attention, and always being held doesn't help them any in the long run.

i think you should definitely stick it out with the little one...don't tell her mom that you don't want to watch her anymore because it may hurt future business. what i would do is talk to mom about this issue and see what ideas you two can come up with. maybe mom has a ritual or a special object that can help soothe her fussy toddler.

Jodie · 01-31-2008, 06:53 PM

I'm a provider too. How long has she been in your care? Personally i think life is way too short to be miserable. If this baby truly is not pleasant and you are feeling stressed at the end of the day I would let her go. It's ok to say I can't do this. Not all children click with all providers. If she is crying all day SHE can't be very happy either.

If you do decide to let her go tell the mom "In your daughters best interested i need to let her go......she is just not happy here and i don't like to see her like that day after day."
I don't see how that could hurt future business for you.

Midwest Mom · 01-31-2008, 07:34 PM

Thanks for all of the advice. You all made some great points. I think I will give her a couple of more months before I have my baby and see how she is. If she continues I will probably tell her mother since I don't want her to interfere with my newborn. The rest of the kids I watch are preschoolers, so can pretty much do things on their own.

caring4kids · 01-31-2008, 07:49 PM

I do daycare too and I would just let her cry. If she's not in danger or in need of anything, I'd let her be. I've put them in pack-n-plays until they calm down. I have whiny 3 1/2 year old and she hasn't gotten any better as she got older. I just let her be - She doesn't get her way so she whines. Well I'm not giving into her(like she wants me to do and I'm sure her mother does at home) so I have no problem letting her whine and whine. After a while, she is back to playing.

My main issue right now is a 2 year old hitter - she hits when she doesn't get her way or is told NO. she hits mostly the other kids but has gotten me a few times. Granted it's not hard hitting but it is hitting. We've been having this issue for 6 months - At first I thought she was too young to understand it when I tell her "no hitting" but now I think she's knows better. I've been tossing the idea back and forth whether or not to get rid of her but I keep telling myself she'll eventually stop right? Her parents are working with her but I don't think that is helping. My new way to deal with her is to put her in a time-out and read the book "Hands are Not For Hitting" to her and before she gets up, I tell her "Hands are Not for Hitting - What else can you do with your hand?" Then we clap, play peek-a-boo, tickle, etc - basically giving her other things to do with her hands instead of hit the kids. Seems to be working slowly.

Jodie · 01-31-2008, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caring4kids

I do daycare too and I would just let her cry. If she's not in danger or in need of anything, I'd let her be. I've put them in pack-n-plays until they calm down. I have whiny 3 1/2 year old and she hasn't gotten any better as she got older. I just let her be - She doesn't get her way so she whines. Well I'm not giving into her(like she wants me to do and I'm sure her mother does at home) so I have no problem letting her whine and whine. After a while, she is back to playing.

My main issue right now is a 2 year old hitter - she hits when she doesn't get her way or is told NO. she hits mostly the other kids but has gotten me a few times. Granted it's not hard hitting but it is hitting. We've been having this issue for 6 months - At first I thought she was too young to understand it when I tell her "no hitting" but now I think she's knows better. I've been tossing the idea back and forth whether or not to get rid of her but I keep telling myself she'll eventually stop right? Her parents are working with her but I don't think that is helping. My new way to deal with her is to put her in a time-out and read the book "Hands are Not For Hitting" to her and before she gets up, I tell her "Hands are Not for Hitting - What else can you do with your hand?" Then we clap, play peek-a-boo, tickle, etc - basically giving her other things to do with her hands instead of hit the kids. Seems to be working slowly.

Does she hit out of anger? Perhaps you could look up "I'm angry" in sign language and teach her that. It would give her a way to express her feelings and give her something to do with her hands instead of hitting.

kryslanae · 01-31-2008, 09:50 PM

I do daycare and I've had children just like that. For your sanity and for a safe stress free pregnancy, I'd talk to her mom and tell her its a struggle and that It may not be working out. Its hard to tell parents that you can't watch their kids , I know, but you need to think of yourself first and be honest with yourself and her mother. at 16 mo she needs to learn that she can't be held all the time and if she acts up she obviously needs boundaries. You know yourself the best and do what your gutt feeling is and you won't regret it (-:

Noahsmommy · 01-31-2008, 10:05 PM

i wanna do daycare!!!

desertmom · 02-01-2008, 02:27 AM

Definitely be honest with the mom about her behavior. And if you do choose to let her cry, be sure the mom knows about that. She can make the choice to go along with it or find someone who can care for that baby more on a one-on-one basis. Some kids are just needier, and go in and out of clingy stages. But do be honest. I would not keep my son with a provider who just let him cry, but I also knew that he wouldn't do well in a day care setting, either, and I was right. He was a happy baby, but needed to be rocked to sleep, which not all caretakers can do. But the mom deserves to know her child is having a hard time in your day care, through no fault of your own. He may not do well in any day care, but that is for her to resolve.