I'll try to make this short. At ds Montessori, the kids are grouped in 3 grades in one room. Next year he'll be in 1st grade which means he'll be with 1-3 graders in the same room and will be with that teacher for 3 years.

"Off the record" we are allowed to request a teacher for the kids. However, this is lately been slightly frowned upon, and they will tell you up front that just because you request doesn't mean you are going to get that teacher. If you get a teacher you/your child doesn't like you are stuck. They will not let your child transfer to another class. They also do not let you observe the classrooms. So you can request, but if you are clueless as to who you want, it's basically a roll of the dice.

One of the teachers is rumored to be retiring this year. So I don't want to request that teacher if she isn't going to be there, just doesn't make a lot of sense. Another teacher is supposed to be very good, I've heard good things about her, BUT some of the 1st grade boys were in my ds's class last year and they were a pretty rough group of boys. I have a friend whose daughter is in another class and some of the boys from her dd's class last year are also in there and are are a very rowdy disrupting group of boys as well. Last year not a week went by that ds didn't say someone punched someone, someone kicked/hurt etc. etc. someone else. For some reason they were just a really rowdy group of boys. Ds stayed away from them, thankfully, and to my knowledge nothing was done to him but he didn't have a very good year last year because of them. This year has been MUCH better.

Anyway, the 3rd and last teacher is new, and from what I've heard, pretty lax in what she expects from the kids. From talking to some of the parents, they are concerned that their kids are pretty much being 'idle', and nothing is concrete. For example, during an orientation, very little information was provided about what she expects from the kids, and very little information in general is given. One woman I talked to told me her daughter was bringing home coloring - in the 2nd grade - and she felt she was regressing and not being challenged. This teacher has also been a teacher for the past 10 years, so this is not a case of her just being 'new', it is more of a case that this is her teaching style. Another mom I talked to said it's gotten 'better' but she still doesn't know how her ds is doing in English and Math but his world culture education has been great. Well for the amount of $ we pay to send ds there, I want his Whole education to be great. Ds is definitely has that 'math' mind, and he's already doing multiplication in kindergarten. I don't want him to lose that.

So what on earth do I do? Request no one and just let it be what it is going to be? Request the good teacher with the rowdy class? I'm so afraid that it's going to end up like last year. I know, I know, it's a whole year later - but I'll feel horrible if I request the 'good' teacher with the questionable class and have him miserable. What would you do? Thank you in advance.

Just some thoughts, if they might not honor your request anyway, you may be stressing to no end.

You never know what direction the situation could take. Even if you made a request and everything was to your liking, bad kids could come into the class, or bad kids might leave the class (move away, etc).

Or the teacher might have personal issues and she isn't able to put in the extra time that she's done previously. Or she moves away.

There are so many variables here out of your control, even if you made the "perfect" request. If it were me, not being certain of what class I really wanted, and not being sure if my request would even be honored, I'd leave it up to fate and hope for the best. JMO.

Thank you ladies. It is so hard to just let it go. Ds's teacher suggested that I write a note to the principal telling them a little about ds's personality and trust them to make a good fit. The problem is that *I* am not ds's teacher, nor should I be expected to be. I mean, I know how he acts at home, but his learning style? His current teacher knows that much more than I do at this point. For instance, his teachers have always told me that he is very self directed in school, and I believe that at school he is, but at home he certainly is not! So I don't know how valuable my input would be, really.

I will have to pray that he's put in the room that is best for him. Now I know how those mother's in Japan feel when they go to temple praying for their children's education!! Because I'll be one of them!!

I agree with the teacher's suggestion, and was what I was going to say before I read your last post. However, with the info you posted, I would ask the teacher if she could do a few bulletpoints that you could use in the letter. I would also talk with the principal later, in a month or so, to see that he's going to remember your request, but also to open up some dialogue and get his feedback.

__________________
Make someone's heart smile today.

The Really Needy, Special, Networking and Talking Mod

Personally, as a teacher and parent, I would not send my child to a school where I was not allowed to observe what was going on in the classroom. Period. I know that sounds harsh, but I can't imagine why a school wouldn't let you observe in a classroom. Most schools try to get parents in to help/volunteer as much as they can.

That being said, it doesn't seem like any of the classrooms are going to be good environments for your son - is there another private school that you could send him to? Public school? If there isn't another option, I would just let it up to chance and hope that he got in the classroom that was the best fit for him. I also wouldn't want my child in the same classroom - with the same kids and teacher for 3 years.

I wonder, is this a Montessori thing? I was looking into Montessori for our oldest child who's 3, and I was totally put off by the fact that you're not allowed to observe the classrooms. As a preschool teacher, that just throws up a red flag to me. We allow parents/caregivers/relatives to drop in at anytime. Of course we'd prefer if they called or arranged it ahead of time, but they are welcome to "surprise" visits as well. It just gives you peace of mind to know that you can visit anytime. It makes you feel like there's nothing to hide. That said, Avery will not be attending any school where I am not welcome to see what she (and her teachers) are up to if I chose to do so...

__________________

You said what I was thinking perfectly. Big red flag!

I agree with those who question your not being able to observe the classrooms. With that in mind, you're stressing out about OTHER people's opinions about these teachers based on their personalities and the personalities of their children. Everyone is different including the parents whose advice you are taking. I had a mom tell me that my DD's 1st grade teacher was awful. Turns out she's a perfect fit for DD and for me. I wasted a lot of stressful days early in the school year based on someone else's opinion.

__________________
Megan

I completely agree.