Last night at 12:30 our phone rang and it was my sil. I'm a huge night owl but dh goes to bed early since he gets up around 5:30 AM. She said "I need to speak to your dh" and I could tell she was crying so I asked her what was wrong. She said an aunt and uncle has been killed in a car crash. I went and woke up dh and told him what she said and gave him the phone. He then talked to her and got up and came downstairs. But I admit I ALMOST said, "Can't I just tell him in the morning". So it got me to thinking I wonder what is considered the "norm" if there is such a thing.

The aunt & uncle live 5 hours away, we haven't seen them since dh's parents died 2 1/2 years ago, dh has maybe talked to them once or twice in that time frame. My dh likes them, but we obviously aren't close to them. My sil didn't know anything specific about their deaths or funeral arrangements etc. So she was just calling to tell him they'd died.

Would you do that? Would you call someone in the middle of the night to tell them someone had died or wait until morning? I want to emphasize I'm not complaining about sil or upset, I was just wondering if that's the norm and I'm weird?

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i would wait until the morning, but that's just me. 2 years ago, i got a call in the middle of the night, about 2 am my time, it was my Aunt crying on the phone. of course any phone call in the middle of the night gets me into a panic mode. She called to tell me that my cousin had killed himself ( and i was very close to him)... which had me up all night long. Personally i would wait until in the morning. you can't do anything in the middle of the night... jmo

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“Don't get too comfortable with who you are at any given time - you may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be.”

True you can't do anything in the middle of the night...except comfort the person who is upset. If the person is calling they probably just wanted someone to talk to, to be there for them. Is this your husband's sister (I am assuming). She probably wanted the comfort of her brother....whether he was close to the Aunt and Uncle or not. Just my initial thoughts though. I don't think you are weird, but I also don't think that I would be bothered by that happening either.

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Stacey

“Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. ~ Eddie Cantor

I was going to say the same thing!!

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"Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body." ~Anonymous

I personally would be upset if one of my siblings waited until morning to call me with news like that. I have a really close knit family even though we may not see each other or talk all the time and I would hate not being able to be there for each other. I have never cared about losing sleep and my loved ones and friends know that they can call me at any time if they need me.

Everyone is different but I do think in this case you did the right thing. I think my DH and his sister would be livid if I said "Can't this wait until morning?" It's not my place to tell her that. Now, if she had called to invite him to dinner or tell him his favorite team won, that's completely different.

It's hard enough to hear that news but for me, I know that I would be even more upset if I felt like I could have been there for my family sooner had someone called me.

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Marcy
Proud wife of Tim, Mom to Sean (8/87), Ethan (10/98), Sam (9/02)
and angels Nathanial (8/6/97-8/8/97) and Benjamin (8/6/97-8/21/97)

Until they all come home......
Life is a Journey (follow my blog about my journey)

I agree. You never know how folks will react to a death in the family. Just because your DH wasn't close to the people who passed, maybe his sister was and she was really upset. Maybe she didn't know he wasn't close to the folks who died and thought it important to let him know. I would gauge who the relative is/closeness to the person. But, when you're upset, you sometimes just need to talk. That sounds like where the sister was coming from. I don't think it's any big deal.

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This is my DH to a T. My family isn't as close so it might be days before I even know something happened.

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If it were my aunt and uncle, even ones we're not super close with, I'd want to know ASAP. I'm 99% sure she wanted it share it with her sibling. Now that ALL my immediate family is gone except my brother, yeah, I'd want to talk with him as well.

i would have waited until morning my dh's mom did when his grandpa passed away dh leaves for work before 4am so she called me in the morning so i could let him know on his break wich was fine. there was nothing we could do at the exact moment and fil was there so they knew right away.. if it were my parent then yes or one of my siblings then yes wake me up anytime but for an extended relative it can wait until early morning.

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'The will of God will never take you where the
Grace of God will not protect you.'

For me, honestly it would depend on who had passed away, and who needed to be called.

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