Finish This Thought ~ October 24/25th

Christy · **Finish This Thought ~ October 24/25th**

Be HONEST:

Who are you the LEAST likely to take criticism from? (criticism of any kind: constructive, parenting, personal, etc)

desertmom · **Criticism**

Ooooooh, your timing hit just right and is pushing my buttons. My MOTHER In Outlaw!!!! My mother in law is such a witch and literally (I'm not exaggerating) has no friends. She is always sending articles and trying to get us to buy her stupid overpriced vitamins that are sold by a quack who's a veterinarian! Mind you, my son takes special supplements through a company who helps autistic children (along with others), that was specified by his doctor.

I stopped sending a lot of pictures to her (she's always depressed and downright rude) because once she said, "Well, it's about time. Why did you send so many?"

I just sent her a small packet of professional shots we had done. DD is a chunky little girl, and the doctor says it will fall off when she starts walking (it's already coming off slowly). DH called her yesterday to wish her happy birthday and she starts in on dd's weight, saying how it's bad for her and giving other advice. This is a woman who lives 2500 miles away and gives $5 for birthdays to the kids. She always pleads poverty but finds money for all the clutter of collectible dolls and other garbage in her house. She is a very weird woman, and I could go on with the rudeness she has always displayed. DH then says, "Well, she's giving advice because she cares, this is her granddaughter." If she cared, she would call and ask about her, send gifts, etc. She doesn't care, she just likes to criticize and feel superior. There's a difference. This from a woman who, when told I'd had a miscarriage, said, "Why, can't she carry babies?" This woman goes nowhere except her sister's house (stilted conversation) and the mall where she buys garbage. All the kids know she's mental, but she will do nothing about it. She talks to her TV. Not like the guys do with football, but she has almost a conversation with it. Yet, she questions my mothering...grrrr. She's commented to my dh on my weight and many other things. She actually is never welcome in my home again after stunts she pulled years ago when she made her only visit - thank God she refuses to fly and won't travel on a long trip again. She has all these junky toys all over her house, including stuffed animals, yet hovered over them when my then three year old son wanted to play with them. Yet my mom, who has many toys for when kids come, had them out and ready to go, and told him to take home what he wanted - I had to put the kabosh on that due to lack of space both in my suitcase and home. Then, MIL wonders why my husband never calls, yet, she criticizes every time he does. OK. I'll shut up now. Finger off the button. You asked! Oh. You just wanted an answer to the question of who? Oh. Never mind.

blessed_with_6 · 10-24-2006, 09:26 PM

Yep, I don't think mine is that bad, but I definitely have a hard time with my mil critiquing my parenting skills. Let HER live a day in the life of a mom of 6! LOL
Desertmom...how much does your little girl weigh, out of curiosity? Riley was a CHUNK as a baby...and honestly, up until he was about 3. After that, he slimmed down..and now is actually pretty skinny! You can see him in our family pumpkin photo on the board..he is in the yellow shirt. He was also breastfed, as I believe you are doing still?? Tell your mother in law to shut up (and that is an ugly word at my house!).

stacia · 10-24-2006, 09:36 PM

My mother or mother in law. Without a doubt. I'm a much better parent and have a better life than either of them!

Bonniebelle38 · 10-24-2006, 10:00 PM

I'm not overly fond of any criticism from anyone, really. But what really irks me is when people that DO NOT have kids try to tell me what to do & how to raise my child. It also annoys me when someone who's children are grown try to give outdated advice on child rearing, and argue with you when you tell them what the new current methods are, and what your Pediatrician told you. My parents and mil don't really criticize me or dh very often at all, thank goodness!!

I guess the bottom line is I don't like being treated like I'm stupid by ANYONE, especially since I don't think I am stupid!!

happyme · 10-25-2006, 01:05 AM

my mil and my sil. My mother never says anything, she was a bad mother, knows it feels bad about it. we've talked it out and since her breast cancer she helps anyway she can and really commends me on my choices. now the mil knows it all. everything I do is wrong based on the people she woks with. I spoil my daughter with dounsydrome, she should be potty traind. bla bla bla. the sil is an expert but she has no kids and is abig time drunk nokidding. I also cain't handle that my mil sends articles cut out of the paper on how todo anything she thinks I do wrong. What can I do? I love her son a lot :D The things I put up for love

CAgirl · 10-25-2006, 01:09 AM

my MIL and FIL! My DH and I are criticized by them all the time, but we handle it much better than we used to. :D

desertmom · **Jen:**

Blessed: in answer, little diva is 35 lbs

at 14 months. But she's also in the 99th percentile for height. She has a long torso. The doctor says she is the size of a three year old, even without the weight. My son was a little chubby, but we were careful, and he ate healthy. Now he is very slim, and the dr. says he is just perfect for his build. Fat babies don't make for fat kids or adults, no more than skinny babies do. I was always overly skinny until my later teen years, and never really had a weight problem until after my kids in my late 30s.

Happyme, that's irksome for me, too. My mil sends articles from newspapers. No letter, no comment, just the article. This woman needs some social skills training!

hawkshoe · 10-25-2006, 06:20 AM

Probably my dh because he isn't always nice when he criticizes, or at least it doesn't come accross as constructive at the time.

Christy · 10-25-2006, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonniebelle38

when people that DO NOT have kids try to tell me what to do & how to raise my child.

This is me.

I also have a hard time accepting criticism from people who are younger than me. Sound wierd? Maybe. Depending on the situation of course. To me, I just think I've lived longer and had more life experiences, than someone who's 19. I had a nineteen year old stay with us for a few days and tell me how horrible a mother I was. She told me I was too strict. I turned to her and said "Your mother obviously wasn't with you otherwise you would never disrespect someone in their own home like that. My mother always told me "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Maybe you and she should hang out for awhile". That shut her right up!

But for the most part I would say I am open to hearing what others have to say. That does NOT mean however I follow their advice, I am just open to hear it just so long as it is constructive and comes from an honest and genuine place.

I grew up having coaches, referees and trainers always giving me good advice, and teaching me how to improve my performance so it's not a big deal to me. I am usually very open to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism as I am always looking to improve myself.