Very good advice!! You always find something when you are not looking for it.

The EHarmony is good advice also or have you thought about something as simple as picking a few hours one night a week (if you can get out) to "hang out" at a book store...Barnes and Noble or Borders?? They have coffe shops and chairs to sit and read...maybe you could meet someone like that?? I guess I am stuck on reading...LOL. What are your interests?? maybe there is something you like that has a group that meets......just a thought.

I've thought about it, but it's kind of weird...we've just talked a little, nothing big. He is very quiet and so am I. I'll have to wait and see if he is really dating her or not. I know if I was dating a guy and he took me somewhere and introduced me as his friend, I wouldn't be too happy...who knows.

Honestly, I'm not really looking desperately...and I wasn't looking when I met him, I guess that is why it just took the wind out of my sail the other night, since it seemed we were starting to get somewhere.

I'm beginning to think men are all the same! LOL

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Lisa,

You have so much to offer someone, you don't want to waste yourself on guys who won't and don't appreciate you. You've been down that road before you don't want to do it again. Instead of thinking this journey is at your loss, think of it instead as "boy are they missing out on a cool chick here". Turn the tables around and give yourself the power. It will make you a stronger person.

Now, because you like working out and are good at it, why not try and meet guys that have similar interests. Have you thought about signing up for a racket ball tournament or maybe co-ed volleyball? What about joining a running club. You are obviously very good at it and maybe just being around people with similar interests will give you some broader options. Church is always a safe place to meet people, however, branch your interests out into other church functions. Go to a friend's church social and see if you can make any connections there.

I also agree with the posters who have mentioned online dating and coffee shops. Online dating gives you a chance to meet and get to know the individual first, from the comfort and safety of your own home. You are in more control that way: screening men by personality traits, morals, values, etc. If you do finally meet someone you can also have the freedom to meet the person at a location and not even show your face if upon seeing him you are uninterested!!! LOL (sorry had to throw that in there). The negative stigma attached to online dating comes from all the unsuccessful attempts at finding true love, but that does not mean there are not those happy couples who have had tremendous success from it. You would be in control the entire time and can stop things at any point. You wouldn't even have to harass your friends about it, or actually do the leg work in finding someone. He would be right there infront of you, on a screen!!! Just try and consider that.

You are an awesome person. Don't get down on yourself or the journey to finding Mr. Right. He's out there. When you least expect it he'll find you. The decision will then be which guy is more suitable for me!!!! Decisions decisions!!

((HUGS))

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Thanks for the reply, Christy. I knew you could screw my head back on straight..

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Christy has said it perfectly! :D Lisa you are such a great person, you deserve a fantastic guy who appreciates you. He is out there ...... too bad you didn't live here in CA. I have someone in mind right now for you!

I sure hope so b/c I may be there soon.

allgirls

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allgirls, mom to 3 girls

Oh, yes there is life after a divorce. Only when it first happens you don't think there is.
The ex walked out after 25 years of marriage. That has been 11 years ago. I have been divorced 10 years on 12/10. Life is much better. I didn't know how stressed I was still he left.

You're so sweet Julie! Too bad I don't live out there.....right now I'm not getting any bites at all here!

He will come around sometime, I hope!!

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Besides, you don't really need a "guy", right? Aren't you good enough company? Perhaps this is a good time to cultivate your girlfriends, and yes, even guy friends. That would help with loneliness. Find you and what you want and need for you, without having to share yourself. It will make you even more ready and rounded when (note, I do say when) the right one comes along. You definitely don't want to compromise. This is YOUR life.

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I just realized something! After viewing a few of the online dating sites, I realized that they are not like they used to be where anyone can go in and browse. My concern was that my students would run across my profile and I would be humiliated beyond belief. They may only be in fifth grade, but they are very perceptive. I think the main thing that makes me realize how much I want a date of my own is that when my boys go to their dad's, who has been remarried for a year now, they try to make every event into a "family" outing or celebration to remind me that they have the complete package. This really sends me into a downward spiral every time they throw one of their "family" celebrations (Easter dinner with his and her relatives, the family ski trip at Christmas with Aunt Cyndi, the Fourth of July cookout at the lake). I know I sound resentful, and I am. When we were a family nothing was ever done together. He always had his hunting and fishing outings while he left me at home to watch the kids. Why is it that men can always find some willing tramp and the rest of us good girls can't find anyone worth having?