Is there really a life after divorce?? So far I'm beginning to think not! Early after my separation, I met a couple guys, one at work, one at a restaurant/bar. They, obviously, were not the right ones for various and obvious reasons. So I decide to just chill out for a while and I end up meeting a guy a few months ago at church. It was just out of the blue, wasn't even looking at the time. Thinking this would be one of the best places to meet a guy, I was pretty excited. We never dated, but we talked to each other some and I have to admit, I have been a little hopeful it would turn to something more. Well, I went to church last night, and guess what? He brought a freakin' girl!! He introduced her as "This is my friend, ____", they didn't seem to have that boyfriend/girlfriend kind of actions or closeness with each other, so maybe they are just friends. I just wish I could meet a guy and not have to contend with any other person for his attention, you know? Like me know that there is no other person I should be concerned with. I've never had that before, even when I was married, I always was 2nd or farther down on the list of priority.

I am sooo totally fed up with meeting guys, them acting like there is something there, and then being dumped on. I know, I know, he's probably not the one...I'm just tired of getting my hopes up just to have them dashed over and over and over again!

Thanks for letting me vent!

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I am so sorry! I have to admit, I do NOT miss being single. It was hard! You have my prayers.

The right guy is out there for you! I believe that everybody has somebody who is right for them - the trick, and frustrating part, is finding them.

lamby - keep your chin up. It's hard out there! I have no great words of advice for you as I am in pretty much the same boat and don't have any answers. It does get very lonely at times and frustrating!

I would really encourage you to let friends and family know that you are open to dating so that if they stumble upon someone they could help you out. Are there other friends at your church you could ask about this guy to see what's up with him? Keep yourself active and out there and something will happen.

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Better to give your kids the values you have
than the valuables you can't afford.

Don't give up - and don't get down on yourself. I've been there..... It will work out!

My suggestion.........on-line dating! I met my husband that way. I know - I was VERY against it - thought it would never work, not for me...whatever... But - you meet so many men - AND you don't have to give out your number...you can email only for as long as you feel comfortable (we did for a week), then if you want - talk on the phone.....we did that for a week too. Then if/and only if/ if feels right - then you can MEET him somewhere (never let them pick you up at your home).
And - you can do it from the comfort of your house in your sweat pants! If you are like me, you don't get much "free time"....so you won't waste much time trying to meet what usually turns out to be the wrong guy at a bar or even at church. You'll meet some that aren't all what they say they are.....but you have to 'kiss a lot of toads'!
Trust me - I never thought it would work - but I married the man of my dreams 2 months ago - and that's how we met!
If you do it - one piece of advice - BE HONEST in your profile! It will only help you....
Good luck!
Jennifer

Thanks for the words of encouragement Claire, I am beginning to think singlehood is my life now....

Lou, I don't want my family or friends hooking me up with anyone.. and as far as I know, no one knows anyone because I'm sure they would try to fix me up even if I said no. This guy is friends with another couple, but I don't know them very well and honestly, am a little embarrassed to ask either one of them.

Jen, Thanks for the advice on online dating, but it really isn't my cup of tea. I have met a few guys online and all they want is sex talk from the very beginning. That, and I work with a bunch of guys who wants to talk sex and do talk sex to girls who are willing to do it. Makes me sick that they have wives at home and they are willing to do that. It is a big turnoff.

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I feel for you, I really do, I was married almost 10 years when I got divorced. And I hated being single. Especially when the kids were with their Dad. But I learned to appreciate alone time, reading books, taking baths, etc... I am now married to Mr. Right and he is wonderful. It will work out, just give it time. Good luck!! By the way, my favorite authour is Mary HIggins Clark...they are quick reads, suspense (not romance) and I couldn't put them down, gets your mind off of everyday life.

I agree with this. Sometimes I think the harder you look or want it, the least likely it is to happen. Then one day...poof...along comes a great guy. You always seem so sweet (at least what I've seen here on MS) that I'm sure you'll find somebody. Just need to hang in there until he "poofs". If it ends up he's not dating this girl, would you be bold enough to invite him somewhere?? Just a thought.

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I just thought of something - YES, there is life after divorce. Ask my husband!

Aliadam is right. You have always seemed so nice and kind here that I know there is somebody who would appreciate you.

Have you ever given Eharmony a try? I hear it has a good reputation and it's christian based also. I know alot of people frown apon online dating, but it's not all that different then meeting someone in a bar/resturant that you don't know well either, kwim?

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"Go on, get outside, get the stink blown off ya!!"

Have you tried the single groups in another church. you can try that.