Those of you who are step parents, are you involved in the discipline or your step children??
And those of you who have joint custody and your children spend time with a step-parent, what are you comfortable with in tems of the step-parent disciplining your child??

__________________
Stacey

“The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man." ~ Euripides

I'm not a step parent, but I've always heard that it's best if the birth parents do the disciplining. Sometimes that may not be realistic if the child's doing something dangerous, etc. but that if possible, the stepparent should wait and discuss with birth parent and let them handle the discipline. Creates less bad feelings all around.

__________________

I think you are right to an extent.

In our house, my dh does discipline on the little stuff....like turning off lights when you are not in the room, getting homework done, if they can play with a friend, and so on. But the big stuff like if they do something wrong .... I handle that, or we handle it together. I don't want them to walk all over him either. Know what I mean.

On the other hand, when they are at their Dad's, and he is getting re-married in a few months, I don't think there is much discipline from either of them, so I don't worry about their soon to be step-mom.

With that said, I do get concerned that we are the "mean" ones and they are the "fun" ones.

Any thoughts on that??

__________________
Stacey

“The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man." ~ Euripides

I know with my grandson, we are definitely the "mean" ones! I know it will be good in the long run, but now that he is so little, he doesn't like it so much.

__________________
~Happiness is a large family~

In an idea lworld both parents would be on the same page. Unfortunatly this is rarely the case. When we were living in the same state, DH and I were the disiplinarians and SS mom was the " friend". She out -right told us she would rather be his friend than his mother (he was 10 at the time). And that we could handle our problems as we saw fit in our home but not to expect her to follow through when he gets home.....great right?

Sorry, I'm no help here.....but can suggest that if you are in that position, to make sure ALL parents are on the same page.

__________________
Does Money Matter?

I am a step parent and i have done some of the disciplining of my step children. Now that they are 16 it is much harder but I can offer my thoughts on it to their dad. he usually agrees with me. The kids' mother isn't always good at discipline. She doesn't follow through. Drives me crazy. We only have them on the weekends so it is difficult and we live 30 miles apart, so it is hard to do much when they are that far away.
I had a step mother also, growing up so I know what that is like. She left most of my discipline up to my dad though.

__________________
~Jill~

I second what aliadam said-that's what the professionals have always told us as well over the years.

__________________