Ok, my sister who has had several problems with her ex. Now has a dilemma, he is not paying his child support, and is not informing the courts of his new job, so that, the child support can be deducted from his check. He is in contempt.

She wants to take him to court, but he will most likely end up in jail. Which means, she doesn't get child support then either.

I am telling her to make him 'pay'...put him in jail.

What do you guys think???

PS....he is sending in some money to go to her..just not the full amount..and he is around $3,000 in the arrears (sp??)....

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Stacey

“The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man." ~ Euripides

In NJ they attach your wages and have it deducted from their paychecks automatically. See if she can have that done!!

That is what she did, but he has changed jobs, and has not reported his new job. And she will have to hire a private investigator to track him down. Or take him to court and the police will track him down....know what I mean??

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Stacey

“The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man." ~ Euripides

Does she know where he lives? The internet has tons of search for people sites on it, maybe that could help? That really sux for her!!! Plus when they do catch up to him and he is in arrears, they add on some extra money to his payment to pay that back.

have her google "child support in (whichever state he is in and possibly the city, but at least the state)" that is where i fould a lot of contact names/numbers when i had to do it. good luck!!!:love:

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Jaime

"Live each day like its your last"

Let me take a step back here. Usually dads who love their children and want only the best for them will pay child support faithfully - plus! These problems often come up when the adults are fighting. The non-custodial parent starts to think the money is going to 'just support the custodial parent' and forgets that the money is really for the kids. In response, the custodial parent starts to get tough about visitation, possibly even withholding visitation and contact, until the non-custodial parent pays-up. Then the non-custodial parent gets more disconnected from the kids and finds even more reasons to not pay or co-operate with the court. The cycle continues and the ones who lose out are the kids - in terms of lost financial support AND in terms of not having BOTH parents in their lives.

When you're a divorced parent the EASIEST thing you can do for your children is write a check. It is all the love, time, and emotional support that takes effort.

Unless bio-dad is a danger to the children, in which case unsupervised visitation shouldn't have been ordered by the judge, then the custodial parent should be doing everything to remind bio-dad how much those kids really need him. I'd advice the custodial mom to make sure those kids are over at bio-dad's house every single weekend from Friday after school to Monday morning. Yes, let him do the afternoon pick-up. Let him look the daycare person in the eyes and try to say he can't afford to pay for the next week when he tries to drop them off in order to go to work. Let him buy the groceries to feed them, help them do their homework, entertain them, keep the house warm enough, and do a few extra loads of laundry. I'd even recommend that the kids spend a few evenings DURING the week with dad so he is reminded of what clothes they have to wear (or that there isn't enough money to buy decent school clothes) and so he can see the checks that have to be written for field trips, band practice, sports uniforms, and book orders. The kids can talk to him more about what hopes and dreams they have for spring break and summer vacation. He can hear for himself how the kids would love to take that class at the YMCA or swim lessons. He can hear how the kids' friends are getting to play soccer or go to gymnastics and how much they'd like to do those things, too. And dad should be scheduled in to take the kids to the dentist or doctor. Let him stand there at the receptionist's desk and discuss why the bill from their last visit has still gone unpaid.

Trust me, the more the non-custodial parent gets to witness first-hand what it is like to do the complete job of PARENTING the kids, the more willing he will be to write the check.

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"Poor people work for their money. Rich people make their money work for them."

Wow cookie, you just took that to a whole new level.

Just to clarify, my sister does not keep the children away from him. As a matter of fact she offers the kids to him all the time. He doesn't want to see them. Nor does he want to pay child support. He just doesn't want them. Period. However, she has a right, excuse me, the children have a right to be taken care of financially. Right now he is in contempt of court for the child support and because he is not taken them every weekend like he is supposed to. Therefore, my sister is having to make a tough decision taking him back in front of the judge. She doesn't want to put him in jail. But she isn't getting her money either. He can be found very easily, but either way, he is not going to pay, and will most likely end up behind bars. That is what she is having a hard time with. Sorry if my original post was too vague.

In addition, part of the reason I am posting "topics" like this, is to try to get members in a discussion so that they will 'connect' and know that they are not alone.

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Stacey

“The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man." ~ Euripides

I wrote what I wrote knowing full well that the non-custodial dad may be (1) living too far away from the kids to be involved or (2) just not willing to even spend time with them. I figured you'd clarify either way, which you did.

If he isn't willing to step up to the plate and be a father to the children he helped to create, then the custodial parent has no choice but to allow the full force of the law come down on his head. It isn't the custodial mom who is 'sending him to jail'. It is the non-custodial dad's own actions that have gotten him to that point. If he wanted to avoid jail, he could have chosen to act differently.

I feel it is the responsibilities of both parents to act in the best interest of the children. The custodial mom has a fudicary responsibility to see that the children receive the financial support that was awarded to them by the court. She really doesn't have the right to say, "Oh, don't worry about it. I won't bother to try to collect." The children can't collect the money - or make decisions to use it properly - without her help.

Even if he goes to jail, he has other resources he may be forced to liquidate to pay the arrears - sell his vehicle or whatever. By law his arrears and child support has to be paid before any other bills - including his attorney's bill. If she goes through the child support collection department run by the state, they can order any tax refund he might be getting to be directed to the child support, too. As far as taxes is concerned, she will have to decide if it is better for him to claim (at least one of) the children so he will get a bigger refund - which will end up going to her. Or if it is better for her to claim the children so she will get a bigger refund, especially if he isn't going to pay anyway, because she is supporting the children.

In many states, the amount of child support is adjusted for how much the non-custodial parent sees the children. If the non-custodial parent takes lots of responsibility for being with the children, then the child support is reduced because the court feels that parent will be paying a lot out of pocket for the kids anyway. If the non-custodial parent refuses to be there physically and emotionally for the children, the court awards a higher child support amount because the custodial parent then carries a larger burden in terms of babysitters, etc.

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"Poor people work for their money. Rich people make their money work for them."

I don't think that they would throw him in jail. My mom went through the same thing and she had to file a Child Support Adjustment because my borther and sisters father didn't report his new job, no courts involved just more paperwork and more talking with your case manager.

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..Gavin..

My ex is behind over $27,000 (yes, twenty-seven-thousand-dollars) He used to send $50 every 6 weeks to keep him out of enforcement. Now i'm lucky to receive $60 everyother month. And i didn't get anything in December. He just started seeing the kids in August, he's been a full year clean (drug free), but hadn't seen them in 4 years. It's weird, i don't ask for child support from him, haven't taken him to court in over 8 years, and at that time I had the option to have him put in jail, and i said no. It's just not worth the fight. He pretty much just calls everyother weekend, takes the kids for a max of 5 hours (his choice) then brings them home. That's it, otherwise he's out of lives, not causing any problems, and that's just the way i want it!

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