Hi, my dd is 10 in 5th grade. She is shy most of time around people even close family members like grandparents , aunts and uncles.I do not know if this is called shy or lack selfconfidence. It is the age where she should be greeting people (say hi, how are you). I talk to her all the time but it is useless. I need for her more exposure around people to talk more and to have more selfconfidence. I do not know where to start that is why I am writing this maybe some one will give me an advice. Thanks for reading

I had a niece who was this way. Especially when it came to ordering in restaurants (frustrating!). For that we finally told her she would order her own food - or she would do without!

As for getting her involved - girl scouts is an awesome way to start in group activities. Is there a sport or other activity that she's already 'good' at? I'm sure it would help her self-esteem tremendously if you could get her involved in something she's already got some skill in.

my daughter bowls and loves it - shes starting her 2nd bowling league tonight . she bowls twice and week and is pretty good this is her 3rd year . i forgot to add she 9 1/2

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What does she like? Girl Scouts are great, or 4H. Also sports, like: softball, soccer, tennis, swimming anything!!!

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I think it really depends on the kid...some kids are shy and there is no way around that. You could put them in 10 activities and they'd still be shy...kwim? It's a personality trait. I know adults that are so shy they can barely make eye contact or shake hands in public...kwim? So I'm not sure it's something that goes away necessarily. I also think that she should do activities that she's interested in because if she's "forced", that's not going to work either (not that you were doing that).

Both of my kids are very quiet in public. I tell them my expectations and we go from there. I've been telling my older son, he's 11, that I expect him to talk back to people if they talk to him, make eye contact, smile, firm handshake etc We've been working on this stuff for years. It all takes time and a little cheerleading on my side.

My younger son, who is 8, is a little better at it since he's a little more social. He's beyond the basics now and will say things like "it's nice to meet you" or initiate conversations. Again, I talk about my expectations, not just right before we're in a social situation but in general and praise him when he does a good job.

IMO a lot of it is about practice...and talking about it frequently. Just like you can't one day decide that your kid should have table manners. You build on it over years and years and practice, practice, practice to make it stick.

Good luck!