Abuse for how long? - Page 2

JenJoe725 · **Name Calling and Verbal Abuse**

I would write a letter or call the judge that is handling the issues about custody and such. I would ask him or her to make a court order that forbids your ex from verbal abusing you, calling you names and bad mouthing you in front of the children. Explain to the judge that you are fine with visitation and such but this name calling and verbal abuse is hurtful to both you and your sons. You could also state that you fear that he may be doing the same to your sons.

Jen

tired · **Unfortunately....**

We didn't ever go to appear before a judge. He didn't even ask for custody of the boys. He never went to their baseball games, practice, etc. But now, he's father of the year! Even shows up at our son's football weigh-in! Of course he does this with his new wife and her 15 year old daughter. I am a teacher, and eventhough I have a Master's degree, we still don't make very much money. Finances are tight and I'm afraid that if I do something to make him even madder, he will take it out on the boys financially. He knows that if he is 30 days past due on cs, then it can be taken out through the courts. So, he pays me between the 26th -30th so I will have to pay late fees on all of my bills and affect my credit. When my dad's estate sells things will be easier and I will be able to afford to take him back to court. But for now I just feel like "what now?"

KyNana · 02-26-2007, 12:46 PM

Tired, I admire you, I really do....you are definately a strong woman,probably more than you know.I cannot imagine what you go through with this man.You are right, God does provide what we need.

Tricia209 · 02-26-2007, 01:10 PM

Wow - he is quite the jerk, to put it mildly! I can't even begin to imagine what your married life was like with him. But, you've moved on and your much better off! Ever hear the phrase "Kill em with kindness"? The next time he's on your property ranting like a lunatic, just smile and walk in your house and shut the door - you DO NOT have to listen to that. Or tell him that your child is not going anywhere with him until he can calm down and be civilized. DId your son ever say anymore about it after he got home from his dad's?

tired · 02-26-2007, 02:47 PM

I haven't had a chance to talk to him yet. They spend Friday night through Sunday night with him and come home from school on Mondays. So, I will get to talk to him tonight. I did see him for a few minutes during his games Saturday, but you can't really discuss anything in the middle of a double-header. I just keep telling myself that my boys do know what kind of a person their dad is but they will grow up to be good men inspite of his behavior. I know my oldest son has told me that, "Momma, you are such a good person!" I always include them in doing for others and make sure I point out the ways that they are fortunate. I know it will pay off in the long run.

JenJoe725 · **Idea**

Well I can't help you deal with you AH Ex Hubby but if you call the companies you pay bills to many of them will change the billing or due dates for you

Jen

desertmom · 02-26-2007, 11:11 PM

By the way, I want to commend you for sticking up for your son when he ripped into him for being late, and it was out of ds' control. Good for you. I'm so glad you told him off there. Hose him again! Whoops...scratched that truck and deflated those balloons!

I know, I'm irreverent and probably can't spell this time of night.

Bucsnpats · 02-27-2007, 07:33 AM

Wow. not to take away from your situation at all. but I do know how you feel. my ex is the same way. Never wanted to be around before...but now all of sudden wants to be "father of the year" to use your expression. What are they thinking?? I don't get it. However, I will say this, after years...yes years....of arguing, I finally just started saying "whatever you want" or "whatever you think is right" he started doing things that were "right" instead of just trying to do the opposite of what I wanted. Did that make sense?? It goes along with the "kill 'em with kindness" advice.

Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk. I am sure we can share stories!! Big HUGS to you!!

Edit: I had to edit to say, that even though I stated that I say "whatever you want"....there are still plenty of things that come up that I feel strongly about and then I can't help but argue....so it is also easier said than done.

tired · 02-27-2007, 08:34 AM

First of all, I don't think I have to worry about deflating those balloons. The friction between her shirt and boobs will take care of that all on its own, if you know what I mean! I did talk to my son last night and he said his dad told him that I hit him, not slapped, but hit. I asked him if he told him why I hit him. He said no. So I told him why I did it and that there is never a situation or reason for calling your girlfriend, wife, or even exwife a B----. My son said he knows. He also said the wife told him she had a tummy tuck because she wanted to live long enough to enjoy the grandchildren he and his brother would one day give her. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? Why is she even talking to him about her plastic surgeries? I told my son that no one has EVER died from having a fat flabby stomach. I also asked, "How dumb does she think you are to believe something like that?" I have decided to just try once again to kill them with a smile and laughter. And no, it's not always going to be easy or appropriate, but I will battle when necessary. Sometimes I wonder if this will EVER end!

desertmom · 02-27-2007, 09:36 AM

So....if I have a tummy tuck, I'll live longer? Wow!! I think Anna Nicole had three of them, and I don't think she lived a long and healthy life.

JMO, but I actually think it's a good thing that she is trying to treat them like they are her own. She's not replacing you and never could. But she is trying hard in some wrong ways. If she would relax and be natural, it is actually a good thing to have another person love your kids. The more the merrier. No one could EVER take your place!