How involved is your ex??

Bucsnpats · **How involved is your ex??**

Is he very involved, somewhat involved, or not involved at all with your children??

Maybe this should be a poll, but we will start here.....

meghannsnanny · 03-03-2007, 05:58 AM

Two of my children are grown . The other one is 15 and he has came to pick her up maybe all of 3 times in the past 3 years. She goes to her sisters and she takes her up to see him. He never calls --his wife says they are old enough now they can come see him if they want to. Ok this was 3 years ago and she was 12. It really ticks me off hes with her kids all the time and drives to another state so he can have her grandkids for a few days. I have called and asked for help in disapline and he refuses to deal with it. Now my step daughters mom has no say so over her and thats how we want it. She is in jail right now and only had 3 hours every 2 weeks visits anyway.

stxmom · 03-03-2007, 04:32 PM

My ex is not involved at all, last time he called was New Years Day. We live 12 hrs from him, the kids only see him once or twice a year when we are in town visiting family, I have to call him, make the arrangments, take the kids to him and pick them up. When we lived in the same town as him he would go months without contacting them.

Bucsnpats · 03-05-2007, 10:13 AM

Mine is involved, but he is very disorganized and is always forgetting things, like soccer games, and such. So, it is nice for them that he is around and wants to spend time with them....but it makes it frustrating for me at times. I shouldn't have to remind him of things anymore, I am not his wife or mother, but I find myself doing so because if I don't, no one will and then the kids suffer. I know I shouldn't complain, but I have enough people to worry about, without having to remind him of things all the time.

lovindj25 · 03-05-2007, 07:37 PM

my son is with his father everyday...during the day while i work and then on saturday for about 6 hours. i work during the day, he works at night so my son has never been in daycare.

tolemommy · 03-07-2007, 07:00 PM

My EH lives on the other side of the country, so he sees our sons only during Christmas Break and for four weeks in the summer. However our oldest son is a college freshman and my EH informed him that if he wanted to visit him during his summer break this year he would have to purchase the plane ticket himself... Gimme a break. My EH hasn't lived close to our sons since our divorce was final. He moved to where GF lived within a month of our divorce being final even though I asked him to remain living closer for our sons sake... That mattered very little to him he told me "they needed to get over it." Seems that was his reply to just about everything now that I think about it, "get over it or we need to get over it."

This was a painful adjustment for our sons that caused a lot of anger & a feeling of abandonment.

Bucsnpats · 03-08-2007, 07:52 AM

Ok, turned this into a poll. Come back and vote!!

reidsmom · 03-09-2007, 01:54 PM

My ex is somewhat involved. But, I can totally relate to still feeling like his "babysitter" by having to remind him constantly of "things" he needs to do, or be there for. It's very frustrating. But, like said earlier, if I don't, ,my son would suffer. I wonder sometimes if it would be better to not have him involved at all. I know I'm probably wrong about that, but it sure feels like it would make my life easier

He is just a big problem maker, and a huge headache. Nothing is ever easy with him. But, my son knows his dad is there if he needs him.....and loves him(even if it's in a different way than mommys).

Indymomof3 · 03-09-2007, 04:33 PM

We have 2 situations. My ex lives in Pennsylvania (9 hour drive) so he sees our Dd-13 on all her school breaks and then 3 weeks in the summer. We split the cost of a plane ticket. He does call every Sunday and keeps track of her grades online. I think him and his wife do the best they can considering the distance.
My DH has a DD-7, and she lives with her mom in Pittsburgh. We drive half way and meet for the pickup and drop off (6 hours roundtrip) We get her one long weekend a month, a week at Christmas, and 4 weeks in the summer. We send her packages and call 1-2x a week. My DH will drive to see special school functions or go to a dance. It is hard, I feel like her mom resents that we try to stay involved.

sunburn107 · 03-12-2007, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovindj25

my son is with his father everyday...during the day while i work and then on saturday for about 6 hours. i work during the day, he works at night so my son has never been in daycare.

I have almost the same situation. My almsot ex works at night, and right now he watches my youngest, my oldest is in pre-k. Next year he will be taking my oldest to kindergarten in the morning, since I have to be at work before her school starts. We actually all tend to hang out on the weekends right now unless one of us has other plans.