Ok Ladies~
I know someone out there must have these same issues that I have with my boys!
Here it goes....
I have 3 boys ages 14, 5 1/2 & 3. They are always yelling at each other! The 14 yr old doesn't want his little brothers touching anything that might belong to him. He also loves to bug his younger brothers. On the other side, the younger boys want so badly to be just like their older brother. We gave our 14 yr old money for his birthday and christmas and he bought a PS2 with it. I now wish we had just bought it for all of the boys because it has caused so many issues, I wouldn't even know where to start with that!!!
I am just so tired of all the yelling and screaming!! Some days it's just more than I can handle. I feel like I am always playing Referee and I'm tired of it!!
I understand that the 14 should have his own things and the younger ones should know not to touch. We've changed locks on his door to keep the younger ones out but they seem to find the key and help themselves in anyhow! If they mess it up, I do make them clean it all back up. However, this is not before my 14 yr old has a major meltdown!
I know boys will be boys and that brothers just argue but I've just about had it!!
Any suggestions on how I can get the yelling and screaming to stop?!?!?!

TIA!!

Jody

I hear you. I have six...and three of them are the ages of yours...but I don't have all boys! I have a 17 yr. old girl, 12 yr. old boy, 10 yr. old girl, 5 1/2 yr old boy, 3 yr. old girl, and 2 yr old girl! I have to say that mine go in spurts. Sometimes I want to sell them off to strangers it gets so bad. Other times, they play so well they scare me! I know the privacy issue is a big thing here, too. My 12 yr. old and 5 yr old share a room..so I can't lock the younger one out. It has caused major tears...and I think overtime, my older son just decided it wasn't worth it. He keeps things like his new nintendo ds lite locked up in MY room, and he just knows that anything else as important also has to be in MOM'S room! My oldest daughter does lock her door...and I would suggest a hook and eye lock out of the younger kids' reach for you. That is what finally stopped mine from "breaking and entering"!!
Another suggestion...for when the fighting is at it's worst..handcuff them together...literally or figuratively. A full day of having to do EVERYTHING together, and they learn real quick to appreciate each other. We do it from time to time...and it has helped immensely.
I know I am not much help...but just know you aren't alone!

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Wait a minute.......do you have spy cameras in my house!?!?!?! I am going through the same thing, but only 2 boys. The oldest's b-day is the 20th of this month, and he doesn't want his little brother to come to "his party". I told him he went to youngest DS's and got to bring a friend to be entertained. But, that doesn't make any difference. I told him he could have a friend spend the night, but everyone (including younger brother) is going to the movie the next day, or no one goes! UGH!

I'm with you. I could have written your post. The boys 11 and 6 are ALWAYS fighting. I'm ready to lose it. Then my DD(12) starts crying b/c she can't stand them fighting. It's a nasty circle that never ends. So no you are not alone.

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My 9 yo son fights with everyone. His 6 yo sister and both his brothers ages 4 and 2.5. It gets out of hand sometimes and I don't have any advise but wanted to let you know I can totally relate

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Well...I'm sad to see there isn't much advice on how to "fix" the fighting BUT...it does make me feel good to know that others have the same issues as me. I feel like a terrible mom who doesn't know how to parent. It's the worst when we can't even shop in a store for 10 minutes without them yelling and then it's off to the car we go!!!
I've even thought about writing to Nanny 911 in hopes that she'd have some great advice for me but I'm too worried she'd put me on TV and then the whole world would know what chaos I live in!!!! YIKES!!
Thanks for making me feel better!!!

okay so I have a friend who does this and it seems to work for her, she has 4 kids when any of them argue they have a big rock in there front yard she makes them stand on it and hug until a said number of cars go by. It was kind of a joke at first but the amount of arguing has shrunk at there house.

I know everyone doesn't have a big rock so maybe just in the yard out front anywhere people will see them when they drive by.

They live in the country so usually it is just 1 or 2 cars but if your road is busier you could raise the number.

Mine (ds9/dd8) started bickering the moment that they both got up this morning. So, we had breakfast, brushed teeth, got dressed and then the kids are cleaning their rooms "Mommy and Daddy clean" today.

2 hours later and they are still in there cleaning. No complaining (if they do I offer to clean it for them-MY way, with garbage bags) and no bickering. What a lovely day!

I, too have three boys, but they are now 19, 17, and 13. I am happy to say they are all great friends but when the 19 and 17-year-olds were growing up, there was quite a bit of bickering. There is an inate desire to be the "favorite" child, so kids tend to find ways to become "the victim" so you will step in and "rescue". This is an age-old triangle (perpetrator, victim, rescuer). The goal is to get the boys on each other's side (even if it means them against you) so they must learn to respect each other. Your 14-year-old does not feel respected by you or his brothers. Here are a few of my tried-and-true tips: 1) Hugging does work! I made them hug for 60-seconds, each taking a turn saying, "You're a nice brother" until they broke down laughing in each other's arms. 2) Do NOT become involved unless there is a threat of bloodshed. Put the two arguing siblings together in a small room (the bathroom or laundry room worked for me) and tell them that you are confident that they can work this out themselves. Tell them that you know they love each other and they are both bright enough to come up with a solution. They will probably call you in to referee several times, but just keep reiterating that this problem does not involve you. Once they come up with a solution, no matter how far-out (my then-10 year old paid my then-12 year old $20 to play on his GameBoy for 15 minutes), congratulate them profusely! If your 14-year-old starts taking advantage of the younger ones, say to him, "I'm so proud that you came up with such a great solution! Do you really think this solution is reasonable and fair? I don't know if I'd feel comfortable using that kind of fairness with you (i.e. $20 for a ride to the mall, $10 to watch a DVD, etc.)." As long as they both win, don't worry too much about abuse. The key is to let them solve their own problems and don't rush in to rescue. And try not to take sides, especially since you probably feel more protective of the younger boys. 3) Discipline those younger boys when they cross over a boundary! I used to make them do something for the other one if they crossed a boundary. Usually, make the "perpetrator" do a chore for the "victim". It seems to "settle the score" for the victim and the perp hates it so much, he'll think twice before getting into something he shouldn't.
Hope this helps!

You know it must be something in the air these days as I too, as can every other parent out there I know of, can attest to the constant bickering and fighting amongst siblings. I always blamed my frayed nerves from the fighting on the fact I love to watch shows like Little House and Brady Bunch where the kids are always so happy and cooperative, and thought my expectations were way too high. Of course reading this thread just reinforces the fact that I need to move to fantasy land in order to get that kind of results and I accept "good days" as small miracles. (I also thank God I have very thick hair, I've spent many days pulling it out and fortunately I haven't gone bald yet-though I've come close a few times!)

To solve the problem though, first the kids need to go back to school. Obviously this does nothing more than give everyone, including mom, a much needed break. Unfortunately, I have to wait til Aug. 28 for my break, and then it is only half days for the first week, but it is better than nothing.

Second, at least for me, I REFUSE, to referee any fights unless blood shed is involved. (And sometimes that is debatable) I discovered my kids were involving me just to make me choose sides. I won't do it. And if it comes down to I get no choice in settling their fights, then I find fault with each of them so that 1 doesn't come out smelling like a rose compared to the other. At least this way I'm not getting pulled into the fight and listening to "You love him/her more than me".

And third, I've discovered if I will give each child (I have 4) some mom/child time alone, it seems to cut down on the fighting. Doesn't have to be extravegant. Though DS #2 loves to play monopoly with me and this takes time (and can only be played with me, no siblings) DD #1 is simply happy helping me fix dinner, again of course alone.

You know the best part of all the fighting though is when my house suddenly gets eerily quiet and I go check on kids only to find them all getting along with one another and playing together. They look so sweet with their horns holding up their halos. However I cannot let them see me spying on them as if they do, the whole house erupts into a mad house again.

Kids!!!!!!!!!!!