I am honestly not sure how I feel about this.

My ds is in the high school football program. They have summer workouts. The way the coach has it set up it a little crazy.

M-W-F he has to be there from 8:30 - 9:20

T-Th he has to be there from 9:00 - 11:00

Here is the issue....that is a lot of driving especially in such a short amount of time...8:30 drop off, just about as soon as I get home I have to turn around and go get him, find something to do that early in the morning, or sit in the parking lot. All of this with two other children.

My EX who is INSISTANT on things being "50/50" (not that they are but he always tries to get it that way...long story and another thread) is giving me a hard time about helping with drop offs and pick ups.

So what do you think?? Should I just suck it up and do all of these drop offs and picks up because I am home and dont' have a "job".

Or do you think he should have to do his share??? And what do you think his "share" would be??

PS...ds can not ride his bike because there is an interstate between us and the high school...not going to happen.

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I've grown certain that the root of all fear is that we've been forced to deny who we are. ~ Frances Moore Lappe

IF your ex is at work and does not have a flexible schedule and your pretty open I guess you should be the one doing the running during the week but if he is flexible He should take a turn on the T and TH. Is there anyway you and another parent can take alternate days so neither family has to do it every day?

He has a pretty flexible schedule....and as far as I know there are no other parents around where we live...and the coach has it set up that not all the players are there at the same time...hence the short workout times....

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I've grown certain that the root of all fear is that we've been forced to deny who we are. ~ Frances Moore Lappe

I think he should help if he's able or cop up some gas money,at the very least !!!

His "job"ends at some point in the day-yours doesn't...your commitments are as important as his.If he's able to help-he should!

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I am not sure of the reason for his 50/50 but hey if he can't do it, maybe his new wife can! In reality it may be her giving him the hard time about helping.

mommy2mercedes said it just right. but if he is flexible, then he should be helping too!!!

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Jaime

"Live each day like its your last"

I agree with mommy2mercedes, too. I have a sophomore ds and high school functions don't take into consideration many high school students don't drive. I think coaches "assume" high school players have vehicles.

I think a good share for your ex would be split the weeks. He do one week, you do one week, etc. It would be quality time with his ds -- father's day and all coming up. Ha.

I'd ask the ex-h to come pick up his son and take him to practice, then you'll go pick-up your son from practice.

Your 1-yr old probably doesn't care, but your 12-yr old probably would appreciate being allowed to sleep in during the summer. Just because your eldest son has to be someplace early in the morning, that doesn't mean the entire family has to also.

BTW, can your new husband drop off his step-son on the way to work? If the timing isn't right, can your new husband drop-off his step-son to a friend's house so your son can ride with another team member to practice? You could do the pick-up later and drop off the friend as well.

Also, at that age and at that time of day, I'd consider leaving the 12-yr old home to sleep in or veg in front of the TV while you do the drop-off / pick-up. It is up to you if you would leave the 1-yr old with the 12-yr old.

With 4 driving adults in the picture, you think the kid could get a ride some how.

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."

I've been driving my dd to work every morning at 8 AM (then I come home) then I go pick her up at 12 NN and take her to music camp (then I come home) then I pick her up at 6PM every day. Next wk when my ds gets home from boys scout camp I'll be taking him to football workouts and football camp everyday IN ADDITION to the taking my dd. I guess I just always figured since dh worked and I was a SAHM, that this was part of my job description.

I'm not divorced so obviously I don't know about the conflicts associated with that, but I'd probably just take him so your ds doesn't get caught in the middle of unpleasant parental negotiations.

Is there a park or a library near where he practices? You could take the other two there for a bit while he's in practice. They might enjoy the outing every day. HTH

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Thanks girls!! I guess the biggest thing for me is that he claims to want things "50/50" but only when it is convenient for him....if you get my drift.

My dh goes to work too early to drop off my ds, but that IS how it worked last summer, which made it MUCH easier.

I don't know about the new wife.

And we aren't really arguing about it too much....if I have to do it, I have to do it, not really that big of a deal....just principal I guess. I just get upset when everything falls on my shoulders so to speak, but he always wants to make it look like he is "so involved".

About car pooling...like I said...not all the kids are there at the same time...as far as I know there are no other kids in our neighborhood on the football team. This high school has kids from all over...and with the interstate being between us....a lot of the kids are on the other side of the interstate near the school. We are actually only about 4 or 5 miles away from the school....just some busy traffic to get through to get over there. KWIM??

And Cookie2 ~ "The kid" has a ride, if I have to drop him off and pick him up everyday...he has a ride. I am NOT saying that I don't want to do it. I was posing the question to see what people thought was fair for his FATHER to do that's all.

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I've grown certain that the root of all fear is that we've been forced to deny who we are. ~ Frances Moore Lappe