I have never done these before but I need to talk to some people who have been there and can help me get through all this. My marriage was a sham and I was young and insecure thinking I couldn't get anyone else. My husband was a wonderful man actually until he joined the airforce, he then became selfish and extremely immature. We discussed having a child and he said he was ready which he wasn't but the most wonderful person came into my life with that decision. After my daughter was born and I felt like a single mom anyway I left him and came home to my family to raise my little one. He said he didn't try to get me back because he thought I would miss him and the baby would just be part of the deal, that is when I told him to go to hell and we were through. I began school immediately once I knew him and I were over. This was last summer and he calls only when its on his schedule and that is about it. His little checks in the mail help some but with my parents help and my school loans we do just fine. I have full custody and visitation is upon agreement, although he never does try to see her. I just get angry because although I have the only good part of him, I seem to have all the stress and worry while he sits back and gets sympathy from his family and friends because he tells them that I keep him from his daughter. Since starting school last summer I have moved from a Freshman to a Junior working my butt off so I am able to take care of me and my daughter. Just recently I have hit many bumps in the road and I am beginning to wear down. I am still overloading in classes to finish quickly, I am trying to spend as much time as I can with my daughter so we don't grow apart while I am taking classes, all this while I find out that I have a lump in my breast and my daughter's heart murmur we thought was gone is back. I'm tired and exhausted and I want something to let up, there are other issues I am still dealing with that involve my ex but that is another long story. Oh on top of all this I have dated off and on the past few months and good guys with degrees and goals and ambition are extremely hard to come by, not to mention compassion!! Okay so I will stop bitching I would love to know what all of you think of my situation, maybe some words of wisdom ?!?!?!

ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!
You need to step back and take a deep breath. Try to prioritise things. Dont think about your X, he is NOT your problem. Dont let him live in your head without paying rent! I know its hard, i was married to an abusive Marine for 27 yrs before I got my wake up..
I left him and the State with what I was wearing!!
A very old friend of mine said to me one day as I was worring about everything... Ask yourself.. Is there anything I can do about it right now? How is it your problem? Do you need to make it your problem?
Can you do without worring about it? Why are you letting STUFF and PEOPLE live in your head without charging RENT? I thought about all that and she was RIGHT!!! I have stopped all the crazy stinkin thinkin,and take care of ME, MY needs, wants and thoughts are MY OWN now! I am now married to the kindest , gentlest man on earth and He showed me what LOVE really feels like!

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If you tell your secrets to the wind... Don't be mad if it tell's the trees.

All those problems are tough add a child in the mix and the stress is tenfold. I was married to a man who was not interested in participating as a husband or a father - I raised my kids alone without any financial support until my youngest turned 16. I don't have any family of my own so when i say I was alone I meant it. I had many many hard times through the years but now things are starting to level out - the bad times are a distant memory. I agree with istinkerbell - take one day at a time - you will be amazed how strong motherhood makes you. Focus on that little blessing and your schooling, don't waste your time and energy dwelling on what never was - you will get through this. You're lucky to have the love and support of your family. Believe in yourself and never give up! This is a great bunch of ladies from all walks of life, I'm sure you will find lots of advice and endless opportunites to vent. Good luck and please stay in touch