Homeschooling and the Special Needs Child

Artie · **Homeschooling and the Special Needs Child**

I know I haven't posted as much lately, but I've really been struggling with something.

My dd Lily (3-1/2) was born with several medical issues and has had numerous surgeries in her young life (including having a trach for 18 months). Well, she's been making a lot of gains, but she's still not where she needs to be at 3-1/2. Her gross motor, fine motor(this was thrown off a bit because she wouldn't screw and unscrew something....she'd unscrew it partway, think it wasn't working, then screw it back on again, and because instead of following a path, she'd draw a picture of a house or a person, which of course, is my fault for encouraging my kids to be creative), and articulation skills are behind (cognitively and visually she's about right on track). Up until this point, she's been receiving PT and ST through our school district. They were doing home therapy, which was great. So, in Jan, when Lily turned 3, they wanted to move her to the 3-5 program and put her in a preschool setting. I was not happy about that because Lily's had so many health issues and was sick so much last winter, that the idea of placing her into a germ-laden preschool was not making me happy. I spoke with Lily's pulmonologist about it, and he agreed that one more winter of home therapy under her belt would be a good thing. So it was arranged for them to continue doing home therapy until the end of the school year, then transition Lily to 3-5.

This Monday, Lily started summer school for special needs kids. It meets 2 days a week for a couple of hours in the morning. Part of me is really torn. I'm actually not exactly a fan of preschool in the first place. I'm sure there's nothing *wrong* with it, but I feel that the best environment for my kids when they're that little, is at home with me. We do crafts, we have playdates, we go to the park and the beach, stuff like that.

Anyway, I just don't know how to handle things next school year. Of course, they want her to go to preschool (they had her in a class 3 days a week, which I already vetoed, and told them 2 days/week was PLENTY), where she'll get PT, OT, and ST services. On one hand, I feel like she needs the services, but OTOH, I wonder if she would catch up just fine at home with me, if I worked with her. I don't know. I've also wondered about just keeping her home and getting outside therapy for her.

I'm planning to homeschool her oldest sister for Kindergarten next year anyway because our church school is too far away from our house. I just really hate being in this position, and I'm struggling with what is going to be the best thing to do.

So, some of you moms who homeschool, WWYD in my shoes?

stacia · 06-27-2007, 09:39 PM

I think the 2 days a week is a good balance! But I don't think i know enough about your situation to give you good advice. I know I would want to work with her at home and have outside Therapy for her to grow with. Is your therapy paid for now? If you took outside therapy, I'm guessing you would have to pay for it or pay more? If cost was not an issue at all then I would keep her home and in the 2 day a week therapy program or keep her home and have outside therapy. Of course I'm pro homeschooling, so I wouldn't say yeah enroll her in preschool everyday anyway

Sorry you are struggling, I wish I could give you better advice! Go with your heart, she's your dd, you know best!

stacia · 06-27-2007, 09:41 PM

I can add that there are several books about homeschooling a special needs child, try searching amazon for the titles that would work for your situation then check out your library!

Artie · 06-27-2007, 09:47 PM

Thanks for your help! Basically Lily was born with a lot of structural anomalies in her esophagus, airway, heart, and intestine...most of which have been repaired. She's made a lot of good gains, and has been receiving therapy through our school district's Birth to 3 program (this provides home therapy until your child is 3). Since she tends to get sick easily (which usually means extra nebs, oxygen, ER, then hospitalization, IV's, etc), I was very wary about putting her in pre-school last fall. I still hesitate about sending her this fall too. I mean, she WOULD be in a preschool program, which I'm against anyway, but she would also be receiving her therapy during those hours. So, it's kind of preschool plus therapy. It would definitely be more work to put her in outside therapy, but I probably lean that way at this point, so I can keep working with her (and her twin and older sister) at home. I will definitely check out Amazon. Thank you so much for your advice!

stacia · 06-28-2007, 09:04 AM

Since getting sick sounds like such an issue, I would keep her home. But you seem to know what you want, you just need some reassurance that you are doing the right thing! The love and care she will get from you will make up for the preschool setting imo! Trust your instincts!

luvabargain · **Homeschooling a special needs child**

Hi. I'm new to the group. I've read several of the messages, but I just had to respond to this one. I have 3 children. I have been homeschooling for 6 years. My youngest son has mitochondrial disease. He is learning to talk really well, but he doesn't walk. He has been in special needs preschool for the last 2 years. He will be entering kindergarten in the fall and I am going to be keeping him home and homeschooling him. I feel that this is best for him, because he missed over 50 days last year from sicknesses due to a weakened immune system. I'm sure that people think that I'm crazy and I'm sure that it will be a challenge, but it is what we feel is best for him and what we feel that God wants us to do. I think as moms, we have to go with our gut feeling and do what we feel is best for our children, especially our special needs children. Thank you for listening to my two-cents worth.

Luvabargain

Artie · 07-03-2007, 11:51 AM

Thank you for your post luvabargain. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. I don't know that I plan on homeschooling forever, but I do feel like it's what I need to do for my family right now. I also plan on keeping Lily home next year and homeschooling her and her twin for preschool, while also homeschooling my oldest for Kindergarten. We'll probably have to get outside therapy for Lily, which of course is more work, and I'm sure "society" will have all sorts of negative input for me, but I feel like this is the direction God is leading my family. (Oh, and Lily is 3-1/2 now, and she's just starting to walk more. She took her first steps in Feb, but it's only been within the last several weeks that she's been strong enough to walk more often than she crawls.)

desertmom · 07-03-2007, 03:02 PM

Artie, it seems that you have some misgivings or worrying about that others may not think you're doing the right thing. You've been doing a great job so far, and you will continue to. There are those who homeschool all the way up. You are doing what you feel is right. There are great programs to support you. I applaud you, because I know how much work it takes. Please don't feel bad at all. "Society" is often wrong, or you're just talking to the wrong people. You don't need to justify to them - they can wallow in their ignorance, because you probably can't change their opinion anyway - is this family by the way that is concerning you? You have fought and sweated lots to get where you are. You are doing right by YOUR children, no matter what you choose, as you are doing it from your heart and experience.

Artie · 07-03-2007, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertmom

Artie, it seems that you have some misgivings or worrying about that others may not think you're doing the right thing. You've been doing a great job so far, and you will continue to. There are those who homeschool all the way up. You are doing what you feel is right. There are great programs to support you. I applaud you, because I know how much work it takes. Please don't feel bad at all. "Society" is often wrong, or you're just talking to the wrong people. You don't need to justify to them - they can wallow in their ignorance, because you probably can't change their opinion anyway - is this family by the way that is concerning you? You have fought and sweated lots to get where you are. You are doing right by YOUR children, no matter what you choose, as you are doing it from your heart and experience.

I feel like keeping Lily with me is the direction I'm being led right now. However, I also do not feel preschool is necessary for most kids, so I already differ from society's norms. I just don't look forward to telling Lily's ped all this (I need to get a new ped). Of course, as soon as you mention this to the therapists/teachers, they immediately think you're doing your child a disservice by not getting them the services they so badly need, etc.

It's not that I feel guilty about my decision...I just hate feeling like I have to justify it to anyone else, which I know I don't have to justify myself to anyone, but still. My family and my IL's will be fine with our decisions, but I know I'll have to explain it to the ped and the school, which is what I don't look forward to. UGH...

desertmom · 07-03-2007, 04:02 PM

I may be a minority, but I don't think preschool is "needed", especially if the child is being taught at home, exposed to other kids for social skills and getting experiences. In fact, I feel that you as a parent can offer your child even more than an institutionalized school setting can, if you know what you're doing, which I think you do. Especially if your child has special needs and you know what to do.