For those of you with DH recently returned

snapdragon7 · **For those of you with DH recently returned**

Hello,
I am new to the boards but am wondering what your experiances have been with DH returning from deployment. Is it going well or are all the horror stories you hear true? My husband is a member of the National Guard here in Minnesota and is expected to be returning sometime in the next month. He has been deployed since October 2005 with 17 of those months being in Iraq. He has been through a lot, lost a platoon mate, another one still recovering at Walter Reed, done many convoys and seen vehicles blown up by IED's, been mortared 3 times and then just recently had a natural gas line on his base explode killing one and wounding another. I am naturally worried about what he will be like when he comes home. I am excited and happy to have him home, but also nervous and scared. We have both changed a lot and we have 3 children (9,6,3) and another due in September. It will be a big adjustment for us all. I have tried communicating with him my concerns, but all he can think is that once he's home everything will be fine, yet our family support says it'll never be the same and may take up to 2 years to feel like you have a new normal established for your family. Any help, suggestions?
Thanks

desertmom · 06-28-2007, 03:11 PM

Wow. He has been through a lot. Guys just love to push their feelings aside, and I'm sure their training makes it even more so. I am not a military wife, but I think you are sooooo wise to be planning and concerned about this. Is there a chaplain or anyone you can talk to about this? Is there a counselor you can start talking to now? It seems that that could help you cope with, and help you help him cope with any feelings inside.

I wish you all the best, and bless your family for sacrificing and doing what you are doing for this country.

southern_belle_mommie · 06-28-2007, 03:32 PM

It IS hard.. they actually send them through classes about how to act when they get home. They will also offer YOU some to go (you're Army right? I missed that part) to to help. Basically it will be like living with a stranger for a little while more than likely. Keep an eye on him in case he shows signs of Post Traumatic Stress...

It is a WONDERFUL thing, and yes it is glorious, it's also stressful at times. One day at a time. You BOTH will have to get to know each other all over again. You aren't used to having someone there, you have your routines and your schedules. And to him, when he left time just stood still at home, and so he will have to get accustomed to the changes. They tell Dh every time he comes home that WE are the ones that have to allow him back into our lives, that they are basically supposed to stay out of our way and we will allow them back in slowly. Funny, but true.

Everything will be fine though.... Glad to hear he's coming home safe. Please thank him for his service and his bravery from our family. And THANK YOU for sacrificing your life with him these past 17 months so that WE can all have a better life.

mommomsquad · 06-29-2007, 01:21 AM

I encourage you to do the classes.
Post Traumatic stress is insipid and invisible but there are treatments.
Great big hugs- and I also THANK YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
Your DH's sacrifice and yours may appear unnoticed but there are those of us who greatly appreciate your time and effort

USAFmom · 06-29-2007, 06:25 PM

Steven was only gone 5 months so although he didn't go through alot of what the other troops go through. he did go through the morter attacks and gun fire. He investagated the helo's being shot down.

So far we have only had a few rough days. The time screw up is amazing LOL But things have been really good. We did attended the reunion briefing before he started his leave. Something manditory with the Air Forcre.

snapdragon7 · 06-30-2007, 09:51 AM

Thank you for all the replies. I have been seeing a counselor to help me cope with all the worry and I have attended reintigration classes. I know the guys have to attend reintigration classes when they are demobilizing, but it sounds like most of them just ignore the information or are so tired they just fall asleep. The time difference will definately take some time for him to adjust to. When he had his 2 weeks R&R I remember him being wide awake at 3 am, if he hasn't readjusted by the time the baby is born that may be a good thing, he can do the night feedings

. I guess I will get through all of this just like I have the last 2 years, taking one day at a time and trying to stay positive although the closer it gets to him coming home, the harder it is to wait. Thank you all also for saying Thanks to not only my husband but also to me for our sacrifices. I think we all can relate to our sacrifices going unnoticed.

itstinkerbelle · 06-30-2007, 01:05 PM

It is very hard, I remember from years ago... My X was in Korea at the DMZ, for 18 months, he had left when our last son was just 4 days old. When he came back, It was Horrable! Because I ran the show all by myself for 18 months, my son did not even know what a Man was, let alone his father.. He had never seen any.Even his peditrician was a female!! so the baby was pretty scared of him. and I resented the fact that he was in MY house taking over again!!!
It can be really ruff for awhile.