I'm just starting the process, but what would you have in the next relationship that you didn't have in the one that you ended. Would you remarry, single, more kids.

Myself, honestly, I don't want to get remarried. I'm happy having someone to do things with, come over, hang out. But for me to even consider it, EVERYTHING would have to be perfect. Communication, affection, respect. Where would have to be no doubts, like I had with my first. If everything was perfect I'd have more kids, I loved being pregnant and being a mom.

Just wondering where you stand. Do you think a second marriage/or your second marriage was better then your first?

My second marriage is MOST DEFINATELY better than my first!!

But, when I was first going through my divorce, I went through the "I will never get married again".."I don't want to be hurt again" phase.

But then when I wasn't looking this amazingly great guy come into my life!!

He also went through a tough time, and we could totally understand each other 100%, and we NEVER take each other for granted!!

Now we do have our disagreements, I don't mean to come across like it is all perfect. But it is a complete 180 from my first marriage.

My husband respects me, appreciates me...is always saying thank you for the things that I do...and so on!!

I didn't think I would have more kids, even though I kinda always wanted to....and my dh always wanted one of his own, he loves my kids wholeheartedly, but we did decide to have another baby.

And that is where we are now!

You will get through this...just take things one step at a time. Don't rush, be VERY picky and you will find the one who is RIGHT for YOU!!

They say that second marriages have a higher rate of failing than the first...because you fall into the same "trap" or you are attracted to the same type of person again and again....just watch out for those signs and you will be OK.

I can honestly say that my man and my marriage are completely different than the first time around....and I know there are other on here in the same boat as myself.

Good luck to you!!

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I've grown certain that the root of all fear is that we've been forced to deny who we are. ~ Frances Moore Lappe

YOU know your hot spots. Don't compromise on them. You don't need a man, which you know, and you don't need to compromise on the important areas. For me, it would be the temper thing and being kind to others. So figure out where you can and can't compromise.
It can be better the second time around, but evaluate what YOU would like to do differently, too.

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I spent a long time deciding what I would do differently, what kind of person I could spend the rest of my life with - I had a mental list of non-negotiables must haves and have nots. After 4 yrs I found a man who is as close to perfect as I could ever hope to find.

I never wanted to get married again, I'm still not convinced there is a reason to so last year instead of an official wedding ceremony we exchanged vows. Our union is not a legal marriage but it satisfies our needs. Maybe someday we'll have an official wedding maybe not!

I went through that phase also when I was going through my divorce where I didn't want to get married,etc. After the divorce was final and I was able to get myself straightened out more, I realized that I would like to have another person in my life, more than just a boyfriend or friend to hang with.

My advise is to take your time, get through the divorce and over this relationship before you jump into another one. I really think that people need to fix themselves after a divorce before they are even ready to start a new relationship.

At first, when I was divorcing I really thought all the trouble we had was all him that, he was the wrong one and I was right, made all the right decisions, etc. Once I realized that I had faults of my own to fix, it just seemed to all work out better finding another person to be with.

The first couple guys I dated, they ended up being almost identical to my ex. At first, I was totally scared that I would be single for the rest of my life and I saw this pattern of ending up with the same kind of guy. I took some time just for me, didn't look for anyone, wasn't interested in dating, just prayed about it. Amazingly enough, I met my boyfriend who is just about everything my ex is not. It is a complete turn around than my first marriage. We have so much in common, we like to spend time together. It has been great. Of course, we are not married or haven't even talked much about marriage yet. I think we both would like to provided it is the right person. We're both not perfect, but we seem to be perfect for each other.

Dealing with his kid is a whole other ballgame though!