I received my last child support payment this month - one of the last remaining threads of my former marriage has been cut. I was feeling quite good about this, the extra money was nice but I feel so good about finally putting that part of my life behind me.

So why is Domestic Relations (the office that handles alimony and child support payments) leaving messages on my voice mail that it is imperative that I call them back?? The child is 18, he has not graduated yet but i already assured my frantic ex that I was not going to force him to pay any longer. Apparently he promised his new wife a new car and a swimming pool so he has plans for the payment he has been making. DH thinks maybe they are calling to see if I want to continue payments - it was my understanding that I would have to petition the court to get it.

Ugh, I wish they would just go away.

Let us know what you find out!

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~Happiness is a large family~

if he owes any back support they maybe calling you about that

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Casey loving wife to Steven mom to 4 bratty girls Amanda, Rebecca, Jessica and Makayla
Where did my baby go

My daughter turned 18 before graduating H.S. so the payments continued until graduation day. That might be why there calling you, probably paperwork. Your ex probably called them to stop payments and they need to communicate with you.

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my mom recieved CS payments for me until I graduated... Dad didn't have a choice in paying the extra 5 months.. Your intitled to that $ reguardless of what your ex says.. The new pool can wait, the expense of graduation, open house and college applications won't wait.. Set the $ aside if you can for you son, as there will be many expenses soon...

I talked to the officer yesterday, he was calling to ask if my ex and I had worked out an agreement for support during Jan2007- May2007 due to our son living in Ca at a private Quaker HS. I confirmed that we did (well sort of - he threatened to exercise his right to end it, DS told him if he did he would never see or hear from him again. The officer told me that since DS has to return to the local HS to complete 2 credits and a research project to graduate I had the option of hiring a lawyer and going to court to get support until he actually graduates. Even if I could afford to hire the lawyer I still wouldn't go. I have always been able to support myself and the kids on my income, we did not get any support the first 2 yrs - the only reason I went after it was because he sold the house we were living in without telling us. I'm tired of the threats and whining, glad to be done with him so I'm letting the support go.

It bugs me to death that these so-called "fathers" think the costs of taking care of a child automatically end at 18. Can you imagine a mother saying, ok, you're 18, I'm done paying for you? You're on your own now? But, fathers think nothing of it. Apparently, it's more important to have a damn pool and a new car than to participate in the care of your own child!!!

I understand your relief in not having to deal with your ex on a routine basis. It is unlikely that your ties to him will ever be over. Assuming he will want to be a part of the lives of any future grandkids he will still be in your life.

For probably the first ten years after having kids I was so nervous having the two of my parents in the same room. Not that they ever got into arguments it was just the tension of having them there together.

It has to be a relief not to have to deal with him regularly but please think of future grandkids and maintain a civil relationship.

*I'm not saying you wouldn't I'm just giving you an idea of what your kids might go through when they want all the grandparents at their childrens milestones.

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AMY

The rare occasion we do communicate it is somewhat civil. He can get an attitude or put on "that tone" that used to put my stomach in knots but I seldom ever speak to him.

He wants very little to do with the kids and even less with the grandkids. He sees them 2- 3 times a year even though he lives 45 min away and passes by our homes 2xday on his way to and from work.

If I know it is him on the phone I do not answer it. He has the kids cell numbers so there really is no reason for us to speak. If something happens to the kids he will find out via his sister who I am still friends with.