I've never used this forum before but I thought I'd get good feedback in this situation. My sis is having probs. w/ her dh. Money, intimacy, control issues, etc. Anyway, she says sometimes she wants him to leave or she wants to (which I advised she should kick him out cause they've got 2 little ones). One main concern is what to do about childcare. Her mil watches the kids for a couple hours on the nights she works (she works 3rd shift and dh works 2nd). She doesn't know if the mil would watch her kids if they separated or if it would even be an issue. She's also worried about money. She has no savings. I didn't know what to tell her so I thought I'd check on here for advice in anyone who has been in this situation. Thanks in advance.

Counseling should be the first thing that she tries. Separating is way down the road after that unless drugs, alcoholism, domestic violence/abuse, etc. are involved. Finding the right counselor is as important as the counseling itself. She needs to get multiple references for the same person.

I agree that counseling should be the first option. The only situation where I'd say leave him right away would involve domestic violence, illegal drugs, sexual behavior- basically anything you could get throw in jail for. (You know what I mean.) I'd suggest couples counseling. My mother tried counseling on her own for her marital problems and I believe that isn't very productive. He needs to want to make it work as well, this can't just be her burden to bear. If a separation is needed she should look into county childcare assistance, if they offer it. (I know it's offered in MN, not sure about other areas.) Otherwise maybe just a babysitter- someone from college or high school, willing to help out as needed for a lower cost.

Thanks for all your input. She has mentioned counseling but he's against it because he doesn't think they need it. So I don't know how she'd get him to go.