My Ex drives me crazy...

Bucsnpats · **My Ex drives me crazy...**

Yes, I admit it he does, he drives me crazy. Imagine that??

But you know what. I am not going to let him see that he drives me crazy anymore. I come here and vent about things. And it is nice to get it off my chest. But it occured to me the other day, that he enjoys upsetting me. He loves it, like it is a power trip with him or something.

I am going to try to do my absolute best at keeping things short with him. Not showing him my true feelings.

I started a thread about calling your ex as a last resort. Which I did.

I was upset at the football coach for keeping the boys late, when practice was to end at 4:30, and my DH and I had plans for 7:30.

I called my EX to see if he could pick up "our" ds and bring him home.

Mind you, all of the driving to and from practice fell on MY shoulders ALL summer. My EX was supposed to keep the kids for one full week, and NEVER did.

So, I thought this one tiny favor was no big deal. Ya know what he did....starting asking questions about our plans, so that I would have to "talk" to him. Instead of just saying Yes I can get him or No I can't. So the more he has me talking the more upset I get.

Then he LAUGHS at me. I say "are you laughing at me?"....He says "Well, not at you but at the situation, I see the sick humor in it all, it hasn't effected my plans so I am not as irrate as you are."

I fall into his "TRAP" time and time again. He gets me talking like he is all concerned...yada yada yada....knowing that I will eventually get upset....and that is his game.

UGH!! Why did it take me 7 years to figure this out?? Have you all tried to tell me this and I just didn't listen??

So, here is hoping that I can NOT fall into this trap anymore!!!

Happymom · 08-18-2007, 09:37 AM

Good for you!!! I read the title and thought, "no kidding"!! I hope you are able to not let him get under your skin.

Jillypoo · 08-18-2007, 10:08 AM

Sorry it took you so long to figure it out. Good luck with not letting him get to you anymore. Try to just make your point and leave it at that. I am one to offer too much information sometimes.
Hugs

itstinkerbelle · 08-18-2007, 10:11 AM

Im sorry you have to deal with that, and dont feel badly that it took you all that time to figure it out.. It took me 27 yrs to WAKE up!!!!

Dont let him get inside your head------ He's NOT paying rent to be there!!

Gisele · 08-18-2007, 10:19 AM

sorry. with some guys its a game. lets see how fast I can peeve off my ex.
My ex is the same way.

ctandam · 08-18-2007, 10:25 AM

Oh my! Well, I hope that you can learn to handle his personality in a better way so that he can not annoy you!
Good Luck! Prayers for you!!

lamby248 · 08-18-2007, 10:25 AM

I could write some of your posts, seriously!

I don't hardly ever talk to my ex anymore..for this reason. he just makes me so irritated and mad and I end up taking it out on someone else.. I just don't talk or ask him anything, unless it is important. This is another reason why I hate when school starts, the main reason. He just makes EVERYTHING so much more difficult than it really needs to be..

He has always did this to me, even when we were married. He knows what buttons to push to get me mad and I used to fall in his trap all the time. I try very hard to not let it show he makes me mad if he does... then he normally gets upset if I don't show it.. LOL

beautifulbabies · 08-18-2007, 12:32 PM

I'm SO glad you figured it out. Seems people have made suggestions that maybe you were letting him get to you too much but you needed to be ready to hear it. Just remove yourself from the situation, take a deep breath, and be glad he's not your problem. To let him make you hysterical is just crazy.

Karol · **Behavior patterns are old**

The behavior patterns you have with your ex are old. It will take time to learn to relate to him a new (healthy) way. There are, I'm sure, a long list of reasons why he is your EX! One of them is his getting some sort of thrill out of upsetting you.

When your dd got her first period and your ex went, why didn't you go too? I've always wanted to know. I would have gone anyhow. Is there some sort of agreement about not being at the same place with the kids at the same time or did he manage to manipulate you out of going? Figure out whatever it is that he does that are the problems and change your behavior accordingly. It will throw him off balance. Throwing him off balance is a nice thought.

Don't engage him in conversation or feel like you have to explain yourself to him (like why you couldn't pick up your son from practice). You do not have to justify yourself, your actions, your life, or your momentary reasons for doing anything to him. He no longer holds a place in your life in which he should get that from you. Does he justify himself or his actions to you? I think he uses your "goodness" and sense of fairness against you from the few posts I have seen about him. It could be so much worse, you could still be married to him. Your children will grow up in just a few years and they will realize what a donkey's behind that he is. They won't need you to tell them. Remember that time is on your side.

desertmom · 08-19-2007, 01:43 AM

He just must have been quite a gem to have been married to.

He reminds me of my sister. She always liked to push my buttons and gets disappointed when she can no longer do so because we're not under my father's thumb.