Being the "meanie" (spinoff)

Bucsnpats · **Being the "meanie" (spinoff)**

In addition to always feeling like the "meanie", because we have RULES in our house.

Here is another thing that irritates me.

Why do I have to buy all of the necessities, and their Father gets to buy all of the FUN stuff??

I took them both out to get the clothes for school and all of their supplies.

Then they go to Orlando for the weekend, and come back with "Fun" stuff. Nothing for shcool, or nothing that was needed.

So, why do I feel so bad?? I hate this.

And what really gets me, is ( I have said this before) HIS child support is REDUCED so that HE can go out and get necessities for them on his own. But rarely EVER does.

Ugh, I just want to scream sometimes. It really isn't as bad as I make it seem. I don't spend hours being upset. But the little things really do irritate me.

carlitasway · 08-24-2007, 11:01 AM

Honey, you seem very sweet but you let this man get to you way too much! I'm saying this in the most loving way so please don't get offended. Whenever he gets you upset just take a deep breath and thank your lucky stars you are no longer married to him and you now have a wonderful dh. Life can be very unfair and it is frustrating at times especially when the annoying ex comes out looking like a winner. True story: When I was a teen I put my dad up on a pedistal even when he was a jerk. Once I had children I realized what a real parent was and threw him off and put my mom up on it because she was the one that really took care of me. I'm sad it took me so long to realize it. Moral of the story, be patient your dues are coming. ((hugs))

lamby248 · 08-24-2007, 11:21 AM

I completely understand where you are coming from, Stacey. I was just having this same type of conversation the other day with my mom. I have to pay for everything the kids need, clothes, supplies, doc appts, dentist appt, fees for school, lunches, EVERYTHING! While my ex pays pennies (literally) in child support because he is supposed to help with the necessities. The only reason he takes them to begin with so much is so he doesn't have to pay much support. This summer everytime he had the kids, they went and did fun stuff all the while, he has a dentist bill that is 2 years old he will not pay a dime for.. EVERYTIME he had them, they did something fun.. And then there is me, trying to pay my bills on one income and not get any further in debt, saying no to the kids for just about everything.

I always feel like the meany. The only consolation that I hold on to is hopefully, once they are grown up and more mature, they see him for what he is... a loser and a bum.

desertmom · 08-24-2007, 11:51 AM

The answer is because you are so important in their lives. They take you for granted because what you are supplying are the necessities. They say it's as it should be, but I think this is a good lesson for others: Put in the divorce agreement what needs to be bought by both parties - the underwear, the deoderants, etc. But isn't that what the whole idea of child support is?

And take comfort - kids are smart - they do what they need to for their purposes now, but deep down they already have an idea.

Bucsnpats · 08-24-2007, 12:04 PM

I hear you guys, and I thank you. I am really not that upset over it. Just irritated that is all. Brooke was showing off a "pretty bracelet" this morning, and my heart just sunk.

I am certainly not going to lose sleep over it. But it is so nice to be able to type my feelings out here. Then I don't have to feel them anymore.

KWIM?

So I appreciate all who take part in reading my posts. It is just so nice to get it off my shoulders and put somewhere else. Here this forum.

Thank you!!