I was very dissapointed for my daughter this weekend and she took full advantage of it too. Her best friend moved away at the beginning of the school year and she hasn't really made any good friends since. Thursday she came home and was excited because a girl she really likes and has been talking to invited her to sleep over on Friday night. I know the parents so I told her it was okay. I agreed to let her go home after school with the girl. My husband didn't know this so he told her to come home after school and do her chores then he would drop her off. I wasn't home for him to ask when she told him I had already said it was okay.

Anyway, to make a long story short, he made her come home and do her chores. Well, the little girl called her and said sorry but she was cancelling because her mother was "making her go to the fair with her boyfriend". I told my dd she was being gullable and the girl was lying to her and that was not the type of friend she wanted and that she shouldn't be as upset because at least she found out now. She told me I was crazy and didn't understand, that this girl's mom was making her do this.

I (being the mean horrible mother I am) called the girl's mom and asked about the situation. She said no, of course not that the daughter just changed her mind because her boyfriend invited her to the fair. I explained that I didn't think that was acceptable and that it was down right cruel and that her daughter needed to tell mine the truth. So she put her daughter on the phone who told my dd the truth.

SHe was in tears the whole weekend about how she didn't have any friends and wasn't ever going to have any. (She is 13) I took her out and we did fun stuff together but nothing seem to make her feel better.

We came home today and she said mom, I want to give x girl another chance, she didn't mean to hurt my feelings. Am I being overly protective to be upset and tell her she shouldn't give the girl another chance because she will just do the same thing again? My daughter doesn't understand the boyfriend/girlfriend thing yet because I don't allow her to date. But, I also don't want her thinking all her friends can just walk all over here anytime they want to either.

Here's my opinion: She is old enough to make her own decisions. You can be the sounding board, helping her look at the pros and cons. Perhaps this girl learned the lesson. Either way, I'd say I'd give her another chance, too. She just needs to be wary, since this girl has already shown her colors and needs to earn back your dd's trust. I think your dd will be guarded anyway, even if she lets her back in. I have to say, I think standing up like that was good, rather than letting it simmer. A lot of people wouldn't have done that. But she's at the age now that she can fight her own battles with your backing. Girls this age can be so cruel as it is, and they just don't think about how their actions are so immature, but the effects can last so long. I think your daughter can stay on the high road and be the upper one in this relationship. She WILL make other friends, too. But let her make the decision on this one - it really shows your faith in her, and it sounds like you've done a good job raising her so far.

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Great advice!

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This is coming from another overprotective parent: I'd let her find out for herself how her 'friend' is. One of these days she will 'get it' that the other girl was only using her when something better wasn't around. It's a tough lesson, but one I think you should stay out of.