Do you have an opinion on divorce, whether it is right or wrong to do? and why do you think that?

I was having a conversation with my boyfriend and the subject came up. He said that he did not believe in divorce no matter what. It wasn't based on anything religious or the Bible, he just thought that if you get married, you should stay married, no matter how miserable you are. BTW, he's divorced, but he did not expect it or want it. I don't always agree divorce is the answer, even though I am divorced, but I know that sometimes it happens. Sometimes it is a good thing to happen like with abusive people and other times it is just a case of people getting tired of being with the same person. I won't judge someone when they decide on it. In my case, I tried everything I knew to do to save the marriage, but in the end, it comes down to two people wanting it and we didn't have that. I was miserable in the marriage and my ex was not living up to the husband role so we got divorced. I didn't want it, I hated the thought of having to give my children up every other weekend, but I wanted to be happy in life and with my life too. I think it was the right decision for me.

What are your thoughts??

I think people use it as an out too much in current times, but I also think there are times where it is necessary. AND, I am NOT judging anybody here who is divorced as I really do not know your individual circumstances past what little you say here. That is just my opinion.

Sometimes I think people give up too easy because they are bored. JMO I do think each case is unique and I can't really say who should and who should not get divorced anyways. I am not in those marriages.

But, I am not opposed all of the time to divorce. I think I answered your question. . .

I'm divorced, so yes, I believe it's OK.

However, I got married too fast, too young, and I didn't listen to a thing anyone said. If I had a brain back then, I would have never married him, and that would mean I'd never have divorced him.

As it was, I found out that friends (the one's who warned me), placed bets on my marriage - most were in the couple month range, very few, if any went over a year - I beat em all! I filed the day after my one year anniversary.

I think it's reasonable to consider divorce for any one of the three A's - addiction, abuse or adultery. My ex was an expert at all three, along with a serious compulsive lying problem. I still stuck it out....and it ended up costing me $150,000 and my credit. I tried to work with him, I got counseling (because he said it was my fault ), I got the books, I did what I could. Now I look back, and I can't believe it.

But divorce for boredom, lack of "love", silly arguments etc? Not that cool, but hey, that's life here now. I'm married again, but then we have never had the problems I had with my first ex.

I'm very glad I got my divorce. I just wish I would have NEVER married the loser!

I think that unless the reason for divorce is something serious (cheating, abuse, things like that), it would be better to try to work things out first. However, sometimes that doesn't work out. I don't think divorce is all good OR all bad, it just depends on everyone's individual situation.

I think that WAY TOO MANY people use it as a "quick out" to the problems that come up in every day struggles of marriage. I look at celebraty marriages and feel sad, because if ANY inconvieniance arises they divorce (MOST anyways, CERTAINLY NOT ALL!!!) I think that IF YOU ARE serious enough to marry a person, you should be serious enough to work through problems that may come up...I AM NOT, I REPEAT!!!! I AM NOT "attacking" anyone here!!!! I know that there are EXTREME situations that I would consider it- if DH was cheating on me MAYBE, or if he was abusive verbally or physically and THERAPY didn't work to solve problems, then divorce is NEEDED! If my kids were in any way in danger from DH, I would DEFINATELY do it (although in my situation, I can never see that happening)

If DH cheated on me (I doubt he would, but if he did) why should I give HIM the easy out? Shouldn't he have to stick around (if he wishes) and see the pain he has caused his family? Giving him a quick divorce is like a "free pass" (IN MY OPINION) to move on and not see the trouble he has caused. Believe me, if my DH cheated on me his life would be more miserable living with me while we both deal with the situation than it would be to go off on his own. If he did it more than once, then sure- divorce would definately be thought about.

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One happy wife and mommy!!!

i think its ok if its the last resort. i think you should try everything else to fix your marriage, but if its beyond salvaging then let it go and you will be happier in the long run. ofcourse if its an abusive marriage you need to get the heck out cuz you can't finx a person who is going to abuse you.

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Kimberley

"there is nothing to worry about, just plenty to think about" from an episode of Extreme Makeover House edition

check out my blog:
http://mommysavers.com/boards/journa...owjournal&j=21

Some people can handle things better than others. For example if a spouse cheats, one person may have the strength to work it out while another may not. One may be able to eventually live to trust the spouse again while another may not be able to and become constantly paranoid. Only the people who decide to get divorced know what they can or can not handle. Who are we to judge what problem is too big or too small? The world is full of different personalities with different levels of strength and endurance. Whether a person divorces over boredom or abuse, it's none of my business. I feel if a person feels it's right for them, then it's right.

Wow, it is amazing to me the people who are not divorced that have an opinion here. Interesting to say the least.

I am divorced, did I want it? No. I thought marriage was forever. However, that wasn't in the cards for me. My husband cheated on me. And as for giving him an easy out by leaving him...I don't think that is what I did at all. The ENTIRE situation came down to RESPECT, not who was having to live with seeing the trouble that they caused, that is not healthy for anyone. He had absolutely NO respect for me, and I deserved WAY better than what he could ever give me. Period.

I am a much stronger and happier woman and person because of what I went through and in many ways a better parent. Being miserable wasn't doing my kids any good what-so-ever.

Hope I answered the question without too much emotion there...

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I've grown certain that the root of all fear is that we've been forced to deny who we are. ~ Frances Moore Lappe

I don't think others thought it was just a question for those that were divorced.

I opened up new posts and there it was. I actually thought it was in chit chat til i read your response.

I think if you're going to get divorced it should be for a serious reason. Physical abuse, mental abuse, drug abuse, adultery, and things such as that. Not just because someone is bored or just not interested anymore.

Bucsnpats~ I don't think you took an easy way out. That was a perfect example of why you should leave someone.

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Jodie....Wife to Andrew (1995)
Mommy to Riley (2000) and Wyatt (2003)

I too am divorced and I can't really say if it is right or wrong. I just hope on Judgement day that the lord will see it was not of my doing...he got the divorce to be w/ his sl**. I didn't really want him no more anyways b/c I could no longer trust him. I wished we lived in a perfect world where it did not happen at all b/c it does affect the kids involved. It hurt me more for my kids' sakes but they were all so little that I don't think it done too much damage. I hope and pray NEVER to go through it again though. I think under certain circumstances that it is inevitable.